words in movies
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Ross: I cant believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some strangers gonna be living in my room.
Monica: Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Phoebe: Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.
Ross: Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, (reading his grades) Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym (He puts it away and finds something else.) Oooh, my rock polisher!
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
Joey: (angrily) Get your non-believer ass outta my chair! (She gets up and heads for her room.)
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Joey: (quietly) My chair heels itself.
Earl: Okay, I should, I should probably be getting back to my thing now. See ya. (Hangs up.)
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Rachel: Well what if I told you, you can do it in my apartment?
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
Chandler: Joey you broke my chair!!
Joey: (sarcastic) Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. Im so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life.
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Chandler: So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing!
Phoebe: No! Think about it okay? This isnt even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, youre my first call! And-and somebody else mightve hung up on you, but I wouldnt do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself.
Phoebe: Oh. Well umm, okay heres a weird thing. My mother was also a supply manager.
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! And! Get this, okay? Your-your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl, P-Earl.
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! Oh, Ive got-Ive got goose bumps. (She holds out her arm.)
Monica: How do you think I am?! Youve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Ross: (entering) Hey! Has anyone seen my shirt? Its a button down, like a, like a faded salmon?
Precious: My name is Precious.
PHOEBE: Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck".
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. Its usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, Im so surprisedgood-bye!"
Parker: My God what a fantastically well lit hallway!
Monica: I'll put a pillowcase over my head.
Chandler: There's a hair in my coffee.
Chandler: No, its not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monicas face when I gave it to her, yknow? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing Im gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure its perfect.
Chandler: All right ladies, heres what were gonna do. (Points to a stripper.) You are gonna take off my clothes. (To another two strippers) You two, go get the oils. (To another stripper) And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandlers the king! Chandlers the king!"
Katie: Listen, to be honest, home deliveries are really a part of my job description.
Monica: Oh my god!
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Ross: My fajitas!!
Charlie: Oh, you know what? This is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic.
Kim: My late husband gave me that lighter. (Rachel laughs.) I'm not kidding.
Rachel: (entering, with a guy) Hi guys! This is Josh. Josh, these are my friends, and that's Ross.
Rachel: Oh my god, are we supposed to answer?
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Roy: You were talking about me before! Look, I don't need this! I'm outta here! Where's my hat? (goes to get it) Look, I've been in this business for a long time!
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
Joey: Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And Im the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?
Charlie: Oh my God! (pauses) I'm your groupie!
Ross: You sprayed my front twice!
Mindy: I hope you can find some way to be happy for me. And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor...?
Amanda: Let’s see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Chandler: Oh, I hate that. I once had a thing of half and half, stole my car.
ROSS: I'm here. How's my little boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have fun with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Chandler: It just keeps getting worse and worse! Y'know? I mean its bad enough that Im in love with my roommates girlfriendwhich by the way, I think she knows. Because every time were in the room together theres this weird like energy between us. And call me crazy, but I think she likes me too. And now I have seen her naked. I mean at least when Ive seen her with clothes on, I could imagine her body was like covered in boles or something. But there are no boles, shes smooth! Smooth! (leaves)
Phoebe: Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.
Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didnt know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster!
Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
Monica: Oh My God!
Phoebe: (Also gets up and starts taking her purse) Oh my God. Was Mike with him?
Rachel: What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok?
Monica: Oh my god, I am losing my mind.
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"
Joey: my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?
Dr. Green: You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her?! Im gonna kill you!!
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
DR. BURKE: Yeah, that's my job. Alright, look up. . . look down, now open your eyes, now look down. That's right, look into the light. Now look at me. . . OK. Your eyes look good. Those are good eyes.
Joey: Um, my present!
Judy: After all, my parents died very young.
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Monica: Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here.
Chandler: Ooh! That's my girl!
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Ross: (to Joey) Oh my God!
Rachel: What? Oh my God! To who?
Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
Phoebe: Uhm, no. I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Monica: Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose?
Rachel: Yeah I dont think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her.
Rachel: (To Emma) Hey! Hi, how's my girl?
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
Rachel: You put holes in my baby's ears!
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Mona: Oh no-no, I-I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and yknow take it all in.
Rachel: My God!
Phoebe: Oh, my first love!
Jill: Fine, then lets just say hes not my type.
Benjamin: Charlie! My God, you look absolutely stunning!
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates! (He goes into the bathroom, screams, and runs back out.) My eyes!! My eyes!!
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Benjamin: Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
Rachel: Im not here! Thats just my Chinese food!
Monica: (faking happiness) Oh, my!
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Monica: Oh my God!
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Rachel: Oh my God, what!?
Rachel: Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands.
Chandler: Y'know what, I can handle it, handles my middle name. Actually its the ah, middle part of my first name.
Rachel: Well, I did my best to convince him that Im not some crazy girl who is dying to get marriedIm just going through a hard time.
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.
Joey: I don't know, but one of the extras sure did! (pause) Hey, listen Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes!
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing?
Rachel: Oh, oh Ross, oh my God, are you okay?
Phoebe: (Lightly) Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him.
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Laura: I gave you my number, you never called me.
Katie: Aww, like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size! (She punches him again and almost knocks him off the arm of the couch.)
Laura: Oh my God!
Joey: I forgot my bat.
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Chandler: Oh my God!
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
Joey: (entering from bathrooms excitedly) You guys! You guys! Youre not gonna believe what my agent just told me!