words in movies
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love...
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.
Mrs. Bing: I am famished. What do I want... (Looks at Chandler's menu)
Mrs. Bing: Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think?
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Mrs. Bing: Who's doing shots?
Mrs. Bing: There y'go. Ross?
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
[Cut to Mrs. Bing on the telephone.]
Mrs. Bing: Yeah, any messages for room 226?
Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger?
Mrs. Bing: What is with you tonight?
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.
Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.
Mrs. Bing: No, it's you!
Mrs. Bing: No, really, c'mon. You're smart, you're sexy...
Mrs. Bing: You are gonna be fine, believe me.
Ross: I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in-
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you. (Kisses him and goes to leave)
Mrs. Bing: (Reentering) O-kay. Look, it, it was stupid.
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Mrs. Bing: You okay, kiddo?
Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)
Ross: (Very politely) Mrs. Bing.
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
[knock at the door, Monica answers to see Mrs. Greene]
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
MRS GREEN: Yes.
MRS. GREEN: [entering] There she is.
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
MRS GREEN: No.
MRS GREEN: Well, not just for you.
MRS GREEN: Oh hello, Ross.
MRS GREEN: Look at this.
Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.
MRS GREEN: No.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh my god. Now I've seen everything! [Phoebe's voice] Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Why?
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] In my day, divorce was not an option.
MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?
MRS. GELLER: Really.
MRS. GELLER: Oh?
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
Mike: Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
MRS BUFFAY: Schnoodle. Oh my God, what the hell happened to my dog?
MRS BUFFAY: What are these, stitches?
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah. Frank.
MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
MRS. GREENE: Well, my goodness, what was that?
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.
MRS. GREENE: Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.
MRS. GREENE: You wear bi-focals?
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MRS. WINEBURG: You told me you didn't see anything.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
MRS. GREENE: Hi Monica.
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Monica: Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen.
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
RACHEL: Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
Mrs. Tribbiani: I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this. (Whacks him round the ear)
MRS GREEN: This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you.
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Mrs. Geller: Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
MRS. GREENE: ...the scotch and the cigarettes...
MRS GREEN: Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
Frank: Hi, Mrs. Knight.
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
Mrs. Geller: Um-hmm.
Mrs. Geller: Whats this? Blue nail polish?
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)