words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office. Chandler is playing with a toy as his boss Mr. Douglas knocks and opens the door.]
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
Mr. Douglas: Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
Mr. Douglas: Well, were gonna be layin off people in every department.
Mr. Douglas: Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
Monica: Oh. Hi, Mr.Heckles.
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Mr.Heckles: I could have cats.
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
Mr. Douglas: Nina.
Nina: Mr.Douglas... (flirting defensively) ..cool tie.
(She escapes, fortunately so distracting Mr. Douglas, that he misses Chandlers expression of alarm & guilt.)
Mr. Douglas: (Shutting the door, then pointing vaguely at Ninas shapely departure) Shes still here.
Mr. Douglas: Youre kidding? She seems so...
Mr. Douglas: Thats unbelievable.
Mr. Douglas: I see. I guess you never really know whats goin on inside a persons head.
(Mr. Douglas screws up his eyes, trying to credit what Bing has just said, but turning to follow Nina down the corridor, he realises Bing must be telling the truth, since he would not have any personal interest in the girl, would he?)
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Mr.Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
MR. GELLER: I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.
MR. GELLER: Hi.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
MR. GELLER: Let's show 'em.
MR. GELLER: The button, the button.
MR A: [to Joey] Worth a shot, huh?
MR A: Everything.
Mr. Geller: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
MR. GELLER: Oh thank you.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, tell us.
MR A: Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
PHOEBE: Yes, hi, Mr. Adelman. Thanks for meeting me.
Mr. Tribbiani: Hey! Hello, babe! Wh what're what're you doing here?
MR. GELLER: Of course she would, you're a college man.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
JOEY: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?
MR. GELLER: Everybody smile.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
Mr. Zelner: Ive asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
Mr. Heckles: Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.
Mr. Heckles: Saw Regis Philbin once...
Mr. Geller: They never did, so if ever see me giving them legal advice just nod along. Shall we?
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.
MR. GREENE: Scotch.
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
MR. GREENE: Neat.
MR. GREENE: You work and you work and you work on a boat...
MR. GREENE: Get my glasses too.
MR A: Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
MR. GREENE: To get my coat.
MR. BOYLE: All right, kids. Here's the deal. According to my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine".
RACHEL: Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg.
MR. DOUGLAS: Rough numbers?
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
MR. WINEBURG: Rachel!
JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
MR. WINEBURG: Stay well.
MR. GREENE: Thank you. Is that one of my cigarettes?
Mr. Tribbiani: Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger.
Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.
ROSS: Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi!
MR. GELLER: Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy.
Mr. Geller: So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg?
Mike: (puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin)
Mr. Geller: Oh, I'm not falling for that one!
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Mr. Geller: Maybe.
Mr. Geller: You don't wanna know.
Mr. Geller: No.
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Mr. Geller: She may have died.
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
MR. GREENE: Are you wearing my glasses?
Student: Hey, Mr. Trib.
CHANDLER: Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe!
Mr. Heckles: Im Chandlers new roommate.
MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Mr. Heckles: Mmm. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons.
Rachel: Oh thank you so much Mr. Kaplan, thank you so much.
Rachel: (jumping up from reading her magazine) Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan.
Mr. Kaplan: Eh.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Monica: Mr. Bigot. He tells the most racist jokes.
Mr. Kaplan: Come on over here, sweetheart. (they walk over to a storage closet)
Phoebe: Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge! That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV. Oh, that reminds me. That Mr. Hasmeje still has my Gameboy.
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: We're looking into it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
MR. WINEBURG: I tell ya a lot things!
Mr. Waltham: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. (Them all walk away. As he leaves he mutters to Jack.) I could kill you with my thumb, you know.
Mr. Tribbiani: Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you.
Mr. Zelner: May I help you?
Mr. Treeger: Then I made the mistake of turning off the TV, I never got it back again. And Im sad. (Exits.)
Mr. Kaplan: Well, dont think I havent noticed your potential. Well, Ive got a project for you thats a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?
ROSS: Hey, tell me again, what do I do when Mr. Roper calls?
MR. WINEBURG: It's so wonderful to see you again, my dear, in fact I hardly expected to see so much.
Mr. Tribbiani: Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late now
Mr. Geller: Eat your fish.
MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.
MR. GELLER: It is off.
MR. GREENE: ...and the bansai's and the chiuaua...
MR. GREENE: I'm getting my cigarettes out of my jacket.
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
MR. GREENE: ...and her yoga and her Bridges of Madison County...