words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office. Chandler is playing with a toy as his boss Mr. Douglas knocks and opens the door.]
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
Mr. Douglas: Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
Mr. Douglas: Well, were gonna be layin off people in every department.
Mr. Douglas: Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
Monica: Oh. Hi, Mr.Heckles.
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Mr.Heckles: I could have cats.
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
Mr. Douglas: Nina.
Nina: Mr.Douglas... (flirting defensively) ..cool tie.
(She escapes, fortunately so distracting Mr. Douglas, that he misses Chandlers expression of alarm & guilt.)
Mr. Douglas: (Shutting the door, then pointing vaguely at Ninas shapely departure) Shes still here.
Mr. Douglas: Youre kidding? She seems so...
Mr. Douglas: Thats unbelievable.
Mr. Douglas: I see. I guess you never really know whats goin on inside a persons head.
(Mr. Douglas screws up his eyes, trying to credit what Bing has just said, but turning to follow Nina down the corridor, he realises Bing must be telling the truth, since he would not have any personal interest in the girl, would he?)
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Mr.Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
Mr. Treeger: Well Im gonna have to put on a new lock, theyll find out anyway.
Rachel: Hey, Mr Philips, nice suit!
Mr. Geller: Of course. Ill always be your dad.
Mr. Treeger:: Really? Youll do anything?
Mr. Geller: (going downstairs) Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shiningOh no. (Chip has shown up and the four are leaving.)
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
MONICA: Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Rachel: Okay, uh-uh imagine this, "The Mr. Bowmont."
Mr. Treeger: Ive looked everywhere. Theres no gas leak.
Sandy: Well, please welcome... The Snufflebumps... Who wants to be mr. Wigglemunch and who's gonna be the Grumpus?
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Phoebe: Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Mr. Treeger: Because by the time I find it on this thing (Holds up a huge key ring with a thousand keys on it), the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. (To the fireman) Come on! Hurry up.
The Dry Cleaner: Thats right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Amy: I’m gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr Right.
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Mr. Zelner: Well, Id be forced to file a report. Id have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Mr. Geller: I understand completely, theres nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy I was unemployed, and her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer.
Mr. Geller: C'mon kid, let's go.
Mr. Thompson: And finally, our biggest item of the night, the 22-foot gentlemans day sailer sailboat. The winning bid was a whooping $20,000! (Joey suddenly gets excited.)
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
(Rachel holds her hand in order to support her head. Mr Zellner obviously overheard the conversation.)
Mr Zellner: Rachel?
Mr Campbell: Rachel?
Mr Campbell: What?
Mr Campbell: You don't?
(Rachel mimes and mouths to mr Campbell "That is my boss", pointing to mr Zellner)
Mr Zelner: Yeah, his name is Ross. (Ross looks very surprised) What?
Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.
Mr Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?
Mr Campbell: James Campbell...
Rachel: Okay. Oh, yeah... (whispering to mr Zellner) Oh he's cute!
Mr Campbell: Please... (shows her to sit)
Mr Zellner: Well, you got uhm... good energy.
Maitre d': Mr Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table.
Mr. Treeger:: Tribbiani! Hold on, Ill get the plunger.
Mr Zelner: Oh right, uhm, Don?
Mr Zelner: Ah, did she ask you to come here and do this?
Mr Zelner: She is good!
Mr Zelner: (obviously amused) Not good, Ron.
[Scene: Mr. Zellner's office. There is a knock on the door.]
Mr Zelner: Okay, you got it.
Mr Zelner: This is gonna make me very popular.
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Mr Zelner: You can really arrange that?
[Scene: hotel's bar, Ross and Mr. Oberblau are talking]
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Mr Zelner: Uh... What can I do for you?
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
MR. GREENE: Whad'ya mean no?
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Mr. Treeger:: Cause youre a little princess! "Daddy, buy me a pizza. Daddy, buy me a candy factory. Daddy, make the cast of Cats sing Happy Birthday to me "
Mr. Franklin: Really? They love him down on six.
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Judge: And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.
Mr Campbell: That's Hugo Boss?
Mr. Geller: Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, you needed to speak to me?
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!
MR. GELLER: Ahh, what's a little mid-life crisis between friends?
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Mr. Heckles: Ehhhh... B-Buttons.
JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Mr. Waltham: I think youll like it, it has two out of the three tenors.
Mr. Tribbiani: Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes.
Mr. Treeger:: You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why dont think of someone else for a change?
Mr. Thompson: Well, I hope youre gonna bid on some things Rachel.
Joey: Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
Mr. Geller: Noted.
Maitre d': I'm sorry. That's always mr Campbell's table.
Mr. Franklin: What do you think of adding him to our team?
Mr. Geller: Wanna peek?
[Scene: Ralph Lauren. Mr Zelner's office. Ross knocks on the door and enters.]
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
[Scene: Rachel's job interview, she is waiting outside Mr. Zelner's (the interviewer) office banging her pen between her teeth.]
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Phoebe: Okay, Jasmine, can you, can you ask Mr. Whiffler if he can wait for like five minutes.
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Mr. Posner: You have a very impressive resume, Ms. Green. I especially like what I see here about implementing a new filing system.
Mr. Treeger: Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money.
Phoebe: Huh. Okay, Mr. Perkazet.
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
(The elevator doors opens, Bob boards the elevator, Chandler walks away, and Mr. Franklin steps out of the elevator.)