words in movies
[Scene: Ralph Lauren. Mr Zelner's office. Ross knocks on the door and enters.]
Mr Zelner: Oh right, uhm, Don?
Mr Zelner: Uh... What can I do for you?
Mr Zelner: Ah, did she ask you to come here and do this?
Mr Zelner: Wow, that is tempting.
Mr Zelner: She is good!
Mr Zelner: But I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do... Ah, it's not true, there is... nothing I want to do.
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Mr Zelner: Yeah, his name is Ross. (Ross looks very surprised) What?
Mr Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Mr Zelner: You can really arrange that?
Mr Zelner: Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
[Scene: Mr. Zellner's office. There is a knock on the door.]
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Mr Zelner: This may surprise you, but re-hiring fired employees, is not my main job.
Mr Zelner: (obviously amused) Not good, Ron.
Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross)
Mr Zelner: Okay, you got it.
Mr Zelner: This is gonna make me very popular.
Mr Zelner: (looks at Ross, for a long moment, confused) I meant with my son.
All: Hey! Hey, Mr. Trib!
Mr. Thompson: (approaching) Mr. Tribbiani.
Ross: (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
MNCA: So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear.
MR. TREEGER: You never know.
MONICA: Mr. Heckles.
Mr.Heckles: I could have cats.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
MR. BOYLE: He didn't have any.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Mr. Geller: Well Im peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
PHOEBE: Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh! ...Hello, dear. (She whips the curtain shut in horror)
Joey: 46. Wow! Who's well educated now, Mr. I-forgot-ten-states?
MR A: Phoebe?
RACHEL: [answering the door] Mr. Treeger.
MR. TREEGER: Oh, yeah, they were so personal, really showed you cared.
MR. TREEGER: Uhh, you said there was a party.
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.
MR A: You're saying, my wife is in you?
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
MONICA: Hello, Mr. Heckles.
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
ROSS: Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment] Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin off to mister?
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
MR. GELLER: I know. He's like a new man. It's like a scene from Cocoon.
MR. GELLER: Hi.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
MR. GELLER: The button, the button.
MR. GELLER: Let's show 'em.
Mr. Geller: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
MR A: [to Joey] Worth a shot, huh?
MR A: Everything.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
MR. GELLER: Oh thank you.
MR. GELLER: C'mon, tell us.
MR A: Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
MR. GELLER: Of course she would, you're a college man.
PHOEBE: Yes, hi, Mr. Adelman. Thanks for meeting me.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
Mr. Tribbiani: Hey! Hello, babe! Wh what're what're you doing here?
Mr. Geller: They never did, so if ever see me giving them legal advice just nod along. Shall we?
JOEY: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
MR. GELLER: Everybody smile.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
Mr. Zelner: Ive asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
Mr. Heckles: Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.
MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
Mr. Heckles: Saw Regis Philbin once...
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.
MR. GREENE: Get my glasses too.
MR. GREENE: To get my coat.
MR. DOUGLAS: Rough numbers?
JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
MR. GREENE: Scotch.
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
MR. GREENE: Neat.
MR. GREENE: You work and you work and you work on a boat...
MR. BOYLE: All right, kids. Here's the deal. According to my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine".
MR A: Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
RACHEL: Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg.
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
MR. WINEBURG: Rachel!
MR. WINEBURG: Stay well.
MR. GELLER: Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy.
Mr. Tribbiani: Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger.
MR. GREENE: Thank you. Is that one of my cigarettes?
ROSS: Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi!
Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.
Mr. Geller: Maybe.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I'm not falling for that one!
Mr. Geller: You don't wanna know.
Mr. Geller: No.
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
Mike: (puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin)
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Mr. Geller: So you don't wanna go to Williamsburg?
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
Student: Hey, Mr. Trib.
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Mr. Geller: She may have died.
MR. GREENE: Are you wearing my glasses?
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe!
CHANDLER: Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.
Rachel: Oh thank you so much Mr. Kaplan, thank you so much.
MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
Mr. Heckles: Im Chandlers new roommate.
Rachel: (jumping up from reading her magazine) Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan.