words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey and Chandler are there getting ready for Thanksgiving.]
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and theres the added mystery of who gets who.
Monica: We havent eaten yet!
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
Monica: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
Monica: Who cares? He works in a museum!
Monica: What is wrong with this freezer?! (She jabs her arm into the freezer and a piece of ice flies into her eye.) Ow! Ow!!
Monica: Oh my God, ice just got in my eye!
Chandler: Monica got ice in her eye, and it hurts.
Monica: Oh, yknow what, I cant, it really kills.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Monica: Like I remember his office number! (Pause) Speed dial 7.
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi! Yeah, Im calling on behalf of Monica Gellers eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today. (Listens) (to Monica) Hes out of town, but does she want to see the on-call doctor?
Monica: Yes!!
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
Ross: So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but Im already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch.
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.]
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor?
Monica: Oh no-no-no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The-the on-call doctor will see me now.
(Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.)
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Tim is examining Monica.]
Monica: I was probably waiting for it to open.
Monica: You look great too.
Monica: So how does it look?
Monica: Like a pirate?!
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Monica: Oh. Big family dinner tonight?
Monica: No way!
Monica: (disappointed) Oh.
Monica: (happy) Oh.
Monica: (sympathetic) Oh. (in a pirates voice) So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie?
Monica: I know.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
Monica: Why is it sick?
Monica: Hey, come on, Phoebe, you understand dont you?
Monica: Me going out with Richards son.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Monica: (running in from her bedroom) Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! (opens the door) Hi, Tim.
Monica: Thank you. Come meet my friends. This is uh, Phoebe.
Monica: And Joey.
Monica: My brother, Ross.
Monica: And Rachel. (Chandler clears his voice loudly) And thats Chandler.
Monica: Umm, well, hes
Monica: All right everybody, this turkey is ready!
Monica: Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap.
Monica: See hes nice. Right?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Monica: I saved you a seat. (Motions to the one next to her.)
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, weve got company.
[Cut to the balcony with Monica and Tim.]
Monica: (putting off her coat) Ooh, this always happens. (Her coat gets stuck.)
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: Yknow all my friends think this is weird.
Monica: I know! I mean its like me and your dad, thats a totally separate thing.
Monica: Were just two people who find each other very attractive. Right?
(Tim leans in to kiss her. They stop, and when he tries to kiss her again, Monica pulls away.)
Monica: Nothing. Nothing.
Monica: No-no-no that was good, it was, that was uh, that was a goood kiss
Monica: (interrupting) Dont say it!
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: I know!
[cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. Theres a knock on the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, the gang is all there watching Chandler.]
Monica: Oh, hes catching up to her!
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
MONICA: Well, uh, he's a doctor.
Monica: Mr. Bigot. He tells the most racist jokes.
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Monica: (shocked) What?
Monica: Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is.
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Monica: (singing) Well be waiting for you
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler Oh my God!)
Monica: I like 'em.
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Monica: What?! I-I-I don't, I don't do that!
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
Monica: Well, I think I shouldnt look directly at them.
Monica: Really?
Monica: Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one-day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you dont cry, so what! And-and-and, and if we take him to college and come home and see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, it wont matter to me.
Monica: Okay.
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
Rachel: (understands that Monica and Ethan wanna be alone) Hey, did you guys check out those new hand-dryers in the bathroom?
[Monica exits to the bathroom.]
[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
[Jack and Judy exit to Monicas room.]
Monica: No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22.
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Monica: That could be a four or a five. It's your call.
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Monica: Let's see, today's Monday... Never.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Monica: Im really gonna miss you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
MONICA: Ok. Oh boy. You are doin' so good. You wanna squeeze my hand? All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard. Honey, really, don't squeeze it so hard! Oh, Ross! Let go of my hand!
Monica: Oh, here.
[Scene: The Storage Room in the basement of Monica and Rachel's building, Monica and Rachel are looking for something.]
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt!
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
MONICA: Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance... [volleyball hits her in the head from behind]
Monica: We are there!
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Monica: Oh my God!
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
Monica: (pushes him and starts to cry) Oh shut up!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next morning, Monica and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Monica! (Pause) Would it?
Monica: Probably the only time I'll ever say this, but did you see the ass on her?
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Monica: What?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
MONICA: Cheers.� (She clinks his glass and pulls back.)� Okay, buh-bye.� (She closes the door.)
Monica: 5 6 7 8!
Monica: Was it really that good?
Monica: Youre a really good kisser.
Monica: Me too!
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
Monica: What? We could do it!
Monica: (to everybody) BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright?
Monica: Really?!
Monica: You serious?!
Monica: Check your numbers! Make me rich!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier.]
Monica: Rach, Phoebe hates Pottery Barn.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
MONICA: Yeah. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off.
Monica: Okay-okay, I got it. I got it.
Monica: Yeah.
Chandler: (To Monica) So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this?
Monica: Joey, you dont have too!
Monica: Tomorrow!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Joey: What-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
MONICA: It's on us, all right, so don't worry. It's our treat.
Monica: You got it from Pottery Barn?!
Monica: Is it okay for me to come in now?
Monica: No because it-it didnt seem important.