words in movies
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Monica: (sarcastically) We?
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
Monica: It isn't mine!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Monica: Ok.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Monica: Would you like something to drink?
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Monica: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Monica: Really? What is it?
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Monica and Chandler: OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! (finally Monica concludes) No!
Monica: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
(Monica talks loudly in the baby's room)
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
(He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...)
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Monica: It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list.
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Well I didnt want everyone to think I was stupid.
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Monica: Im gonna miss you! (They hug.)
Monica: What happened to Janine?
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
Monica: (loudly) What?!! (Quietly) What?
Joey: You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica.
Monica: (in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her R)
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Monica: We owe you?!
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
Monica: Why, do you write him a lot?
Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.
Monica: Absolutely!
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Monica: What did I tell you about the hall?!
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too.
Monica: Well, maybe youre rightShe made fun of my phone pen!
Monica: Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl?
Monica: All right, all right, at least Im prepared.
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Monica: No.
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Chandler: (To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags!
(Ross and Monica high-five)
Monica: Wait a minute, I can get ice at the restaurant
Chandler: Oh, that would be Monica. Hey, listen, I wanna borrow a coupla things, Aurora spent the night, I really wanna make her breakfast.
Monica: Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Monica: Hm-hmm!
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Monica: What?!
Monica: Me neither.
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Monica: So you didnt leave the bank?
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are in bed together.]
Monica: (to Erica) Hey, thank you. Thank you so much. (they hugs). You are SO going to Heaven!
Monica: Thats a good idea.
Monica: Its coming from the living room.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (interrupting her) Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!
Monica: No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? (picks up the pan of badly burnt potatoes) Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one.
Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Monica: Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay?
Monica: All right.
Monica: (loudly) I know!!!
Monica: No, thank you.
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Monica: I know. Where do you wanna go eat?
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Monica: Joey, do you work here?
Monica: Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them.
Monica: Oh, I was thinking about having people over for the game.
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
Monica: Y'know what? Ill think youll play.
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Monica: Hah!
Monica and Rachel: You did!
Monica: Well, then, Im okay with being high maintenance.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Monica: You are so cute. (She goes over and kisses him passionately.)
Monica: Wait Chandler come on, letsits not a big deal!
Monica: Okay, Chandler, you go first.
Chandler: Lets have Monica decide.
Monica: Why do I have to decide?
Monica: Do you want me to pick you?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
Monica: Continue.
(Monica leaves the room)
(Chandler motions to Monica that hell give her two babies.)
Monica: Hi, Chandler. There you are.
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Ross: (catching the ball) Monica! Stop throwing it so hard! We're on the same team!
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
Monica: All right, biggest suite in the place. Come on! (Rolls the dice.)
Monica: Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking?
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.