words in movies
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Monica: (sarcastically) We?
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
Monica: It isn't mine!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Monica: Ok.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Monica: Would you like something to drink?
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Monica: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Monica: Really? What is it?
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Monica and Chandler: OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! (finally Monica concludes) No!
Monica: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
(Monica talks loudly in the baby's room)
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
(He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...)
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Monica: It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list.
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
MONICA: You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this.
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
Monica: No, umm, he met some girl at the coffee house.
Monica: And lucky means, more cleavage?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: (interrupting) No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: She said that?!
Monica: Umm
Monica: Why?!
MONICA: Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.
Monica: So, is Joey gonna stop snoring?
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
Monica: Sometimes we were.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: We were shopping, and we had lunch.
Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
Monica: Youll see.
Monica: Oh my God! Hes gonna rat me out!
Monica: I got you the foot massager.
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Monica: Ohh. And I dont even have a date.
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
MONICA: Give it to me.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: (to Chandler) Shh!! (On phone) Wait, what?
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Monica: Phoebe, they didnt make you pay for those knives, did they?
Monica: Well, thanks, we like him.
Monica: I was laughing. (Patting him on the knee.)
Monica: But more importantly to full well-rounded lives.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
(Chandlers trying to console Monica.)
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Monica: Then why would he say it?
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Monica: Yep, yep...You?
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
Joey: Have you seen Monica?
Monica: Ok, thank you.(the man leaves) Uh, well this is it. Are you OK?
Monica: Chicken Kiev?
[ Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Chandler, Monica and Emma are sitting on the floor, and Emma's stuffed animals are lined up in front of them.]
Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
Ross: So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. (he tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand)
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
Monica: What were we thinking?
Monica: Stupid.
Monica: Oh yeah. Definitely.
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Petes computer company?
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Ill meet you there in two minutes.
Monica: Only here.
Monica: See, Ive been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people Im only planning on doing this once. So, uh yknow, maybe this is selfish and Im sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that.
Monica: Oh, I-I dont know.
Rachel: Monica, what should I do?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: Ill call you back. (starts kissing him)
Monica: All right. (Goes to take off the dress.)
Monica: Thats true.
Monica: (entering) Hey, guys. Im here to pick out my Christmas tree.
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Monica: Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!
Monica: Great
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
Monica: No time for that!
Monica: You really think this is okay?
Monica: Okay!
Monica: Or 45.
Monica: Yeah, I think you should keep looking!
Monica: You didnt find her?
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Chandler: (To Monica) I love you. And I know about the baby.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Ha ha, a joke thats funny in all countries.
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
Fat Monica: Okay!
Monica: 'I drink tea.'
Monica: Im changing out of this.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.
(Monica returns.)