words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey!
Monica: (thinks) Okay.
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Monica: Its not your birthday.
Monica: Youre not dressed yet?! Were supposed to start having fun in 15 minutes!
Monica: Rachel, you are packed though right, I mean please tell me that youre packed.
Rachel: Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Monicas just gonna kill you.
Monica: (entering) Rachel, I need to borrowYoure not packed!!!! Youre not packed even a little bit!
Monica: What?
Monica: (grabs a bag of those Styrofoam peanuts) Ill be coordinator! Oh my God! Im so sorry, I didnt get you anything! Okay, look everybody has to help! Okay? You can help, cant you Phoebe?
Monica: Youre plans were with us.
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Monica: Okay! (To Rachel) Oh my God, thank you!!
Phoebe: Hurry! Monicas gonna make you pack! Shes got jobs for everyone! Now, its too late for me, but save your selves! (The guys scramble for the door.)
Monica: (entering and interrupting the guys escape attempt) Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, were gonna start with
Monica: I thought you said you were going to do nothing.
Monica: Okay fine, now Ross
Monica: Why not?
Monica: Its almost 8 oclock, its almost past his bedtime. Where-where is he?
Monica: Is he really coming? Because I can see right into your apartment!
Monica: All right, sorry. (Goes back to Rachels room.)
Monica: (starting to cry) Oh God!
Monica: No.
Monica: Im gonna miss you so much.
Monica: I dont think theres anything.
Monica: Nope, shes perfect.
Rachel: Uh well, I guess Im not gonna miss the fact that youre never allowed to move the phone pen. (Laughs. Monica lags behind the laugh a little bit.)
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Monica: Aw, sometimes. Always, actually.
Monica: Not just the phone pen. I never get my messages.
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel and Phoebe move a box into the living room.]
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Ross! (To Rachel) See? Other people call me!
Monica: (on phone) Whats up?
Monica: Oh, put him on!
Ross: Ben, say hi to Aunt Monica. (He holds the phone to the fake Ben he has created out of a pumpkin.) Oh, I guess he doesnt feel like talking right now. Hes smiling though! Okay, talk to you later.
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is entering carrying two glasses of wine. She gives one to Phoebe, keeps one, and completely ignores Monica.]
Rachel: You know what else Im not gonna miss? "Im Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!"
Monica: "Hi Im Rachel, is my sweater too tight? No? Oh, Id better wash it and shrink it!"
Rachel: "Im Monica, I dont get phone messages from interesting people. Ever!"
Monica: "Oh my God, I love Ross! I hate Ross! I love Ross! I hate Ross!"
(Monica picks up one of those boxes of hair curling things, dumps it in a box, and storms out.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is whining to Phoebe about Rachel.]
Monica: Im not talking to her!
Monica: Well, maybe youre rightShe made fun of my phone pen!
(Monica goes into Rachels room.)
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
Monica: What?!
Monica: It needs to go about 20 blocks to the left!
Monica: Because its my apartment!
Monica: How about, youre moving!! (Grabs a bunch of clothes and throws them into a box. What follows is a brief sequence of Rachel unpacking and Monica packing the same stuff over and over again as Rachel chants "No." and Monica chants "Yes.")
Rachel: Look! This is ridiculous. We should be packing you!! (She knocks over Monica, grabs a box, and runs into the kitchen.)
Rachel: Great! Monicas moving!
Monica: (entering) I am not!
Rachel: Oh really?! Then how come all your stuff is in this box?! (Monica starts chasing Rachel around the table.)
Monica: No Phoebe I am mad!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica carries a box out of Rachels room.]
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Monica and Rachel: What?!
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Yknow I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but yknow Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate.
Rachel: Oh really? Like what Monica?
Monica: Yknow she has 147,000 pairs of boots
Monica: She lets you borrow them.
Monica: Do you wanna live outside?! Because its gettin cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs and umm, shell fold down the pages of the things she thinks that Id like.
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Phoebe: Okay Rachel, I cant wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! Well have so much fun!!
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Monica: Hey. Call me when you get there. Okay?
Monica: Im really gonna miss you.
Rachel: Oh! I have your key. Here you go. (Hands it to Monica.)
Monica: Thanks.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Bye.
(Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachels old and now empty room.)
Monica: She really left.
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: Can I ask you a question?
Monica: What the hell is that dog doing here?! (She notices the dog sitting in the living room.)
(And with that, an era ends as Chandler moves in with Monica as Rachel moves in with Phoebe. It tis a sad and happy time for Friends.)
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.
Monica: Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto?
Monica: Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (Looks at Joey.)
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Monica, I brought back your iron.
Monica: Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: Cause I ran into him at the bank, he is still soo cute.
Monica: (fingering her elbow): Ross?
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
Monica: Well, Im gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
Monica: God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.
Monica: Well, y'know I-I-I think I'm gonna respect the privacy of my new secret boyfriend.
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Monica: Actually, I'm gonna go check on the twins.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Monica: Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding.
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
Monica: You mean the guy who kept calling you Ron?
Monica: Fine, I can do it. (Gets anxious.) Whew.
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, and the girls are dividing some Chinese takeout, while the sitcom Family Matters is playing on the TV.]
Monica: (wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair?
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross is checking his messages.]
Monica: Okay. Okay, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you loved so much?
Monica: Makes me wanna puke! (Chandler looks at her, quizzically.)
Monica: This Thanksgiving kicks last Thanksgiving's ass!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is walking towards Ross.]
Monica: Chandler, Im gonna die a virgin!
Monica: Probably some y'know, European good-bye thing he picked up in London.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Monica: What the hell is that dog doing here?! (She notices the dog sitting in the living room.)
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Phoebe: Pies, oh, we thought you said priiiize (goes to the hall and comes back with Emma's trophy in her hand). Here! (gives it to Monica).
Monica: Okay? (She starts to walk which causes her to start crying) Ooo wee! Christmas party in my boots! (Runs into the bedroom and mixes saying ow with laughing.)
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Chandler: And Im the happiest guy in the world! (Monica goes and sits down in a huff.) Oh honey, come on dont be upset. We still have so much to look forward to!
[Monica grabs Rachel by the sweater. Rachel squirms out of it]
Dream Monica: Y'know, I love doing crossword puzzles with you honey!
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Monica: Oh wow wow wow!! Make room for your friend! (sits herself down between them)
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Monica: Yess!! (M & C high-five and Zack looks confused again)
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross lays a lot off small papers, shaped like the U.S. states onto the floor making a map with the states. Phoebe enters]
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Monica enters.]
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Rachel: (to Monica) Allll done!
Monica: Why?! To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one another to the world!
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Monica: Okay. Im guessing that if you dont want to deliver, you probably dont want to pick stuff up either.
Monica: Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later.
Joey: Ah, just cut me a little sliver. (Monica prepares to cut a little sliver.) A little bigger. (Monica prepares to cut a bigger piece.) Little bigger. (Monica moves the knife again.) What?! Are you afraid youre gonna run out?! Cut me a real piece!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is snoozing with Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal and Chandler and Monica come storming in.]
Chandler: O-okay. (steps closer to Monica and speaks softly) So, is she gonna take the test?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are having a tug-of-war over the disputed candlesticks.]
MONICA: Hi. Uh, we'll be right there, we're just trying to decide something. [shuts the bathroom door]
Monica: What?! (She accidentally starts the blender without the lid on it and fruit flies everywhere.)
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Monica: (shaking the dice) A new pair of shoes for the Chan-Chan man! (Rolls the dice.) Yes!
Monica: Why? It's just that I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this, and you can't even wait four and a half minutes for a stupid onion tartlet?
Monica: They could be our neighbors, what are they like?
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
[Scene: Mattress King, Monica and Phoebe are shopping for a new mattress.]
Matt: And then sometimes during the show yknow but youre like, the scenes going one way but youre just tempted to say something another time. Like, do you remember that one where Monicas baking cookies in our old apartment?
(Monica rolls, and Ross goes first.)
Monica: Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale.
Monica: Yknow, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. (Hands it to her.)
MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
MONICA: Hi sweetie, look before I forget, did I leave my diaphram at your place? Hi mom. [she starts throwing oranges at Ross who's looking pleased with himself]
Monica: Well I guess there is no harm in telling you now, Rachel and Ross are gonna have a baby.
Monica: Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is packing her belongings to move to Rosss. Shes standing in the kitchen.]
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Mike: Hi David. Chandler. Monica... (Looks at Monica, checking her big hair, aghast) Oh!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is entering to find Chandler playing Ms. Pac-Man.]
Monica: There were only twelve.
Monica: But I insist!
(He leaves. Cut to Monica entering Chandler and Joey's apartment. She sneaks up to the shower door)
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Monica: All right, yknow what? We really are late! Lets go! Lets go! Lets go!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Monica, and Joey are playing Monopoly.]
Monica: This baby has got everything. Take yknow, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.
Monica: Well, when you first met Barry, you flitted off to Vail.
Fat Monica: dammit! (Runs off.)
Monica: Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organised. But hey, I can be a kook.
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
Monica: Chandler, we cant let this tape wreck Valentines Day!