words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Monica: Youre kidding!
Monica: Ross!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Monica: Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great!
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Monica: Pheebs, hows it going?
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Monica: What do you mean?
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
Monica: This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Monica: And six others.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Monica: Yeah, two hours, a lifetime thats the same.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Monica: How are you still single?!
Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Monica: Hes got something plastic lodged in his throat, weve got to go to the hospital.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
(Monica enters and her jaw drops in horror.)
Monica: Oh my God.
Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here?!
Monica: But my apartment!
Monica: But the mess!
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
MONICA: Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Monica: Oh THATS ME! (she runs to the pizza guy)
MONICA: Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
MONICA: Thank you.
MONICA: Ok, that's enough.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
Ross: Monica, youre so lucky! Hes like the most popular guy in school!!
MONICA: Give it to me.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.
MONICA: Had it.
MONICA: Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.
MONICA: Just waiting for you sweetie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is recovering from the shock.]
Monica: Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!
MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
[Scene: Monica and Van Damme are walking down the street.]
MONICA: Oh, why does this bother me so much? I mean I don't wanna be one of those people who tells their boyfriend they wanna spend 24 hours a day with them.
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Monica: I know it is the best.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Ryan are playing Monopoly.]
MONICA: It's Richard Burke.
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
(Monicas entrance makes Phoebe try to hide the ring by putting it in her mouth.)
MONICA: Aaahhhhhhh! Aaahhhh!
MONICA: Very good.
MONICA: No. See you don't understand.
MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.
MONICA: Oh yeah.
MONICA: Alright, well tell me one of yours.
Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
Monica: Yknow what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live!
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.]
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
MONICA: Yeah?
MONICA: What's up?
RICHARD: Monica, wake up. Monica.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?
MONICA: Alright, go on.
MONICA: Oh my God, you're a freak.
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
MONICA: Then what's the problem?
Phoebe: (Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.
Rachel: Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
MONICA: What, forget it!
MONICA: That's ok. I'm sorry I poisoned you.
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Richard are there]
MONICA: Please!
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Monica: All right, Ive heard enough. Ive made my decision.
MONICA: What are you talking about? What wedding?
MONICA: Could not be more terrified.
MONICA: Uh-huh.
Monica: Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? (She pours out the rest of her change purse into the bucket.)
(Everyone follows Rachel to the living room. Monica pulls Joey aside.)
(Rachel, Ross, and Monica exit)
Monica: Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand?
Monica: Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises!
MONICA: Okay, one more, please. Come on, I'm gonna get it in this time, I will.
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.
MONICA: You'll do what?
Monica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?
MONICA: Really?
MONICA: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Hi Monica!
Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.
MONICA: Keep talkin'.
MONICA: Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.
Monica: I need to get some Richard.
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
Rachel: Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.
Monica: God, what is wrong with me.
Monica: What are you the memory woman?
Monica: "Hi Im Rachel, is my sweater too tight? No? Oh, Id better wash it and shrink it!"
Monica: Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of the rain forest!
Monica: Hi.
Monica: I know I do.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is preparing for the party with Ross questioning her.]
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Monica: I know, Amanda! Ah! She called me too! She's the worst!