words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Monica: Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
Monica: (entering) Hey guys.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Monica: I'm talking about me having a baby.
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.
Monica: You're gonna what?
Monica: What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
Monica: Joey, this is you!
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Phoebe: Thank you, Monica.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering]
Monica: Hey.
Monica: To the bank.
Monica: Sperm.
Monica: Oh yeah, picked a guy, 37135.
Monica: 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...
Monica: What?
Monica: Really? Why?
Monica: Hoyt?
Monica: Really, is he a swimmer?
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Monica: We do not have one of those signs.
Monica: Two girls and a boy?
Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
Monica: Yeah.
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]
Monica: Old?
Monica: Thats much better.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: (gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
Monica: Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Monica: That other play?
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Monica: I had to go with the odds Rach.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Monica: Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Monica: Honey, we gotta go!
Monica: Really?
Monica: I just, I cant believe that we made it!
Monica: Im sorry but nothing.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Monica: What is that?
(Monica and her parents walk up.)
Helena: (To Monica) And who is your friend?
Monica: Hi Mr. Bing.
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
[Cut to Monica.]
Monica: I cant find garbage bags!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
Monica: Who wants it? Anybody?
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
Monica: Nobody wants to do it? All right, Ill do it myself.
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (Monica goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: (reading the note) Tell Monica Im sorry.
Ross: Is uh, is Monica here?
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the next morning, Rachel and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Oh Soap Opera Digest award!
[Scene, Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is there. Everything is out of its place and Chandler's cleaning.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Monica: I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Monica: About what?
Monica: (jumping up) Rachel! You okay?
Monica: Any woman would be lucky to have ya.
Joey: (interrupting) Was his name Angus? (Monica and Chandler laugh.)
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still trying to stall Monica.]
Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice.
Monica: (entering) Whats going on?
Monica: I cant go to lunch!!
(Monica goes into the bathroom and Rachel thinks quickly.)
Monica: (starting to cry) Im so happy for me.
Phoebe: Oh my God Monica!
Monica: I wanna wear this everyday.
(Monica enters wearing her wedding dress.)
(Monica enters.)
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Monica: Well, youre-youre sweating.
Monica: Chandler come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle.
Ross: Oh my God! Monica!
Monica: Are you okay?
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Monica: Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after youre done.
Monica: I know! Hey, hows Chandler doin?
Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Chandler: Monicas pregnant.
Chandler: I know about Monica.
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
Monica: Wow! I cant believe I actually rolled an eight.
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Monica: Not now.
Monica: Shes right there.
Monica: (To Chandler) Who is this?
Monica: (To Rachel) He took off?
Monica: I do.
Monica: (looks at Chandler) In in two weeks.
Monica: What baby?
Monica: We have a baby?
Monica: I didnt take a pregnancy test.
[Cut to Central Perk, first season Monica is talking.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are talking.]
Monica: (disgusted) Limited seating! Oh, that is such a lame excuse! Thats not the reason shes not inviting me!
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
Monica: What are you doing?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the party. Everyone has left, except for the gang.]
Monica: Oh geez! Okay! Thanks!
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]
MONICA: GET OUT YOU DUFUS!!
Monica: I knew you were likely to take a wife!
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (looks at Joey.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, same scene.]
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
(Monica screams and they all stare at her.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!