words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
[Rachel holds the tray between them. Chandler grabs the muffin before Monica can.]
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
MONICA: Give it to me.
MONICA: Give it to me.
MONICA: [She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
MONICA: That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
MONICA: Had it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in her bedroom.]
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
[He walks out of the bedroom and Monica starts to remake the bed.]
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
MONICA: Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.
MONICA: Just waiting for you sweetie.
MONICA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine.
MONICA: If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
MONICA: Ok, you see, the tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner.
MONICA: I'm just easing you in.
MONICA: Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are doing Phoebe's makeup.]
MONICA: You look fabulous honey, you really do.
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Ryan are playing Monopoly.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica enters her bedroom with a roll of duct tape. Richard is sitting on the bed.]
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
MONICA: It's for their own good.
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
MONICA: Very good.
MONICA: You know what. Tomorrow I'm gonna do your clocks.
MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.
MONICA: No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why?
MONICA: No forget it, I'm not gonna tell you now.
MONICA: No. See you don't understand.
MONICA: No. You don't have any of these cute little obsessive things.
MONICA: Oh yeah.
MONICA: Alright, well tell me one of yours.
MONICA: What if they get mixed up?
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard and Monica are in bed.]
RICHARD: Monica, wake up. Monica.
MONICA: What's up?
MONICA: Yeah?
MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.
MONICA: Alright, go on.
MONICA: Oh my God, you're a freak.
Monica: And she wants to go hunting, too!!
[Scene: Iridium, Monica and Paula are at work.]
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Monica: Oh, dear god!
[Scene: The house Monica and Chandler are viewing. Janice comes down the stairs.]
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Monica: Ross, we're kind of in the middle of diner here.
Phoebe: Why?! Whats happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)
Monica: Nothing. I just want the baby to be born today.
Chandler: Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here?
Monica: Oh my God! Let me see. (they all look at the pictures)
Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Monica are in there, and Phoebe enters]
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, umm when-when Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together, yknow just in case
Monica: So great! He showed me where the restaurant's going to be. It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th Street. Not too big, not too small. Just right.
Monica: Oh come on! You're making it sound worse than it actually was.
Phoebe: Monica had lunch with Richard.
(Rachel ignores him and follows Monica into the kitchen.)
Monica: A-ha!!! (they all start laughing, as Ross hides in the bathroom)
RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.
Monica: Oh, Aunt Liddys coming? That means we get five dollars each!
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
Monica: (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that? (Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Yknow what Greg? Yknow what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny cant see that then (Listens) January 15th? (Chandler dances.) Well see you then! (Listens) Okay!
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
(chez Monica and Rachel)
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
Monica: Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.
Monica: It's my New Year's resolution!
Monica: Damn it! Rookie mistake!
[cut to a new scene, also in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting, Phoebe is nearby.]
(Monica and Chandler do not look amused by Joeys head in the door)
Monica: Good! Now, take those salads to table 4, (to the kitchen worker from earlier) And you! Get the swordfish! (to another assistant chef) And you! Get a haircut!
Monica: Oh that's cute! We really all enjoyed it. But y'know, it doesn't count.
(She gets to Monica who has the dress balled up in one hand and is sitting on Megan who is sprawled out on the floor.)
MONICA: And I would have to say pah-huh.
Monica: Look at it! Ohhh! Wallpapers a little faded, thats okay. Carpets a little loose. Hardwood floors!!
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Phoebe: And Tim I just wanna say, good luck here. (Shakes his hand and leaves, which disgusts Monica.)
Chandler: What? No, I'm taking Monica to a romantic inn in Vermont (shows them a brochure)!
Monica: Rach! We werent gonna miss our friends getting married!
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
Monica: Oh! (Laughs and points at the mask.) Him.
Chandler: Oh, its not just that, I would be Englands most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majestys secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. (Worried.) Would Monica let me wear this?
Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few...
Monica: Joey's bare ass!
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
Monica: Well he is! Yeah, I mean marriage is all he talks about! My goodness, in fact, Im the one thats making him wait!
(They run to the living room where Monica has moved the chair back (Towards the step), the coffee table forward (Towards the TV), and taped a square outline on the floor.)
Monica: No, no! We should divide them up (picks up the bowl) and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them!
Monica: Yeah and-and Im sorry too. But, well I justI like things done a certain way and the chemistrys just not right.
Monica: (To Chandler) We're not really gonna buy these people steak dinners are we?
Monica: Oh really, you want to talk about quality? Have you heard of a key? It's what some people sing in.
(And he starts licking the grease which trickles down his face. Monica also squirts some on the other side of his face, and his tongue follows her movements.)
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
(He goes out into the hall and finds a very drunk Monica lying up against Joey and Rachels door.)
Monica: Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.
Monica: The basket is totally empty! My God, the neighbors ate all the candy!
Monica: (points at the baby she's holding) This is a boy, (points at the baby Chandler is holding) and that's a girl.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is paying Phoebe.]
[Scene: The delivery room at the hospital. Monica, Chandler and Erica are there. Erica is in labor, and she is breathing heavily.]
[Scene: Bill and Colleen's apartment. Chandler comes running into the living room. Monica is the only one there.]
Ross: Hey, yknow what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron! (Monica shakes her head in disgust.)
Monica: She doesn't have a stomach ache, she's in labor.
Monica: Okay, if you need the vacuum, its in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah, the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator
Monica: Are you kidding?! I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade! This is likeOh my, this is like my second favorite game!
Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.
Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
Monica: Of course we will, come on we gotta make dinner.
Fake Monica: You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. (Asks her something in Dutch)
(Both Rachel and Monica walk into their bedrooms, stop, and come back into the living room with confused looks on their faces.)
Monica: (hands Chandler a bag) Chandler, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin's, and your family size bag of Funyuns.
Monica: She stole my jeans!
[Scene: house next to the one the Bings are moving into. Chandler and Monica knock, a lady opens the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Obsessive Monica has finished opening all the presents. Shes ashamed of this, at least, because as someone enters ]
[Scene: Another Hospital Room, Chandler and Monica enter and start making out.]
Monica: We know how tough those parent/teacher conferences can be.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is entering to find Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, on the phone.]
Monica: (really excited) Mmh... this cake is amazing!
Monica and Phoebe: Ahhh!!
Monica: All right Rach, for what its worth, I think that youre doing great. I mean yknow lets face it, no one handles this well.
Monica: (to the waitress) When you get a sec, another round of daiquiris.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're in the kitchen as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Ooh, candy bars, crossword puzzles
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Monica has completely destroyed the foosball-table, and Chandler and Joey are holding the birds.]
Monica: (hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!
Monica: No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Monica: Oh my god, where's my purse? No, you know what? I can replace everything in there. Get that binder, and let's go!
Monica: Yes, I want to change. And why-why dont you go down and get us a table?
Monica: Okay. (They walk away to get some privacy.) We have got to beat them! {Here we go yet again.}
Monica: Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right?
Monica: Well, tonight, I actually went out with Chip Matthews in high school.