words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]
Monica: I have no idea. But look how much they spent!
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: I know. It's just such reckless spending.
Monica: That's me.
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.
Monica: This woman's living my life.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Rachel: Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.
Monica: Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we.
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Monica: (Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Monica: What d'you think?
Monica: Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe.
Monica: Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me?
(Everyone starts to dance in unison. Monica flounders)
Monica: Okay, I'm not getting this!
Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
Monica: Great. It's gym class all over again.
Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare.
Woman: Hi. I'm Monica.
Monica: Oh. Monica! ...Hi. I'm Mo- ...nana.
Woman: (Fake Monica) Monana?
Monica: Yeah. It's Dutch.
Fake Monica: You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. (Asks her something in Dutch)
Monica: Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
Fake Monica: Monana was very brave.
Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor!
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Monica: 'Scuse me?
Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.
Monica: What?
Fake Monica: Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Monica: Uh-huh.
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Monica: Yo- hooo!
Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
(Monica is drinking from the tap)
Rachel: Monica? Monica!
Monica: Water rules!
Monica: Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today.
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Monica: Helloooo? Yeah. Oh my God. Thanks.
Monica: They've arrested Monica.
[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]
Monica: Hi.
Fake Monica: Hey.
Monica: How are you?
Fake Monica: I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here?
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Fake Monica: Oh. Thanks.
Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!
Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica: Well, not... worried, just... wondering.
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Monica: Not necessarily...
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
Monica: Um, I'm not actually Amish.
Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders)
Monica: Yeah, but at least I'm doing it!
[Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.]
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Monica: All right, yknow what? We really are late! Lets go! Lets go! Lets go!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Monica, and Joey are playing Monopoly.]
Monica: This baby has got everything. Take yknow, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.
Monica: Well, when you first met Barry, you flitted off to Vail.
Fat Monica: dammit! (Runs off.)
Monica: Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organised. But hey, I can be a kook.
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
Monica: Chandler, we cant let this tape wreck Valentines Day!
Monica: Make it fifty!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Janice: All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And... I'll see you later, neighbor. (Janice laugh)
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Monica: I am not 'so'! OK, I was a teensy bit weird at first, but... I'll be good. I promise.
Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
Monica: No! No! No! No sweetie! No! Not like that! Were not at a barn dance. Youve gottayou wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas time, remember?
Monica: The truth is, Dad, were-were trying.
Monica: Well, that's it. Everything's packed.
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, continued from earlier.]
Monica: And it could be soon. I mean, think about it: right now, somewhere out there (they go look through the window) our baby could be being conceived.
[Scene: The casino bar, Phoebe and Monica are sitting at the bar, while Wayne Newton's signature song Danke Schoen is playing in the background.]
Monica: Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds!
Monica: Jellyfish sting! Oh, it hurts! It hurts!! It hurts!!
Monica: It was so wild! We told em we were the Gundersons in 16
Monica: Rach, that's great! It's so good that you had a good time in Greece!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
(Monica goes over and grabs the pesto.)
Monica: You gotta go home and get the earrings that you borrowed from me okay? Chandler wants me to wear them tonight.
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Monica: Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister!
Rachel: Monica! Look! Hi! What do ya think? (shows her, her ring)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering, dragging Chandler, to mediate the argument between Chandler and Monica.]
Monica: (Rolling her eyes) Nothing. It's fine.
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
(Phoebe goes and lies down as Rachel opens the drawer Monica hid the candlesticks in and as Monica walks out of her room.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Monica: Relax. Y'know, she may not even know.
MONICA: I can't believe you thought I was cheating.� (pointing at Joey) You own me an apology.
Monica: So look umm, while were st-still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it right?
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so Id call him.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica have just arrived.]
Monica: Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out.
Monica: These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, its gotta be Rachel.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz...(look of realization)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Rachel is flipping through magazines. Handyman is installing things. Monica enters.]
MONICA: Okay, so, uh, we're in France, we're making the toast. Do you see a little bassinet in the corner?
Monica: If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, thats your department now. (She takes back the turkey leg)
Monica: Shes a stripper.
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
Monica: No sweetie, youve got to win over the guy that controls C.H.E.E.S.E.! Youve got to kiss some serious robot ass!
Monica: Stop it Chandler. (Chandler is relieved) Im sorry too.
MRS. GREENE: Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.
Monica: No kidding, out of towners huh? What did you tell em?
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
Chandler: And that would have made the official party line. (Joey nods) Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.
Monica: Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill... the mayor wants to raise subway fares again... the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports.
Monica: She's only a couple of months pregnant. She liked our application but who knows if she's gonna like us.
Monica: Besides, if anybody's gonna get free stuff, it's gonna be me.
Monica: No! Wait! If anybody gets to go.. it's us (Points at herself and Chandler) We've been complaining the longest!
Monica: Dad, please dont pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if youre gonna put your feet up, why dont you sit on the-
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Monica: Oh, he just doesn't want us to go through any trouble. Think of how excited he'll be when we go out and surprise him! Plus we get to have our own, ani-Vegas-ary! A-Nevadaversary!
Monica: Freemont. West-Westmont, ah Westburg?
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby!
MONICA: Yeah, ours pretty much sucked, oh, but, I did run into little Stevie Fisher. Remember him?
[Scene: A hospital hallway, Chandler is sitting on a gurney with his hands spread out behind his back. Then Monica comes and plops down on the gurney and one of his hands. Chandler immediately recoils in extreme pain.]
Monica: Because! Shes my cousin. I mean, we grew up together! Were family yknow? Well thats important to me.
Monica: Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these... (plays with her hair to make the shells tingle again) Ow!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is reading a book as Rachel returns.]
Monica: Passport, check! (As she puts away each item, she says check.) Camera, check! Travellers cheques, check!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is entering to see Monica sitting in front of a mound of wedding gifts.]
Monica: Hey, we would still be living here if hadn’t gotten the question wrong!
Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. (to Monica) Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?
Monica: Okay. Umm, y'know, I dont think, I dont think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship.
Monica: My God, I cant believe this! I mean I knew that mom and dad were invited, but I thought that was it! I mean from the ages 7 to 9 Frannie and I were inseparable!
Monica: Worked like a charm.
Monica: Hey, guys, what-what should I wear to a Knicks game?
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas and the strip before we arrive at 4 Queens bar, where Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table waiting for the show to start.
Monica: Yknow, I dont have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. (He laughs halfheartedly) Are you sure youre okay?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, Chandler is turning on the light to awaken a now sleeping Monica.]
Monica: Oh how nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress.
Monica: Oh yeah! I saw her walkin it down the street the other day. She had uh, these flowers in the basket. It was so cute.
Monica: What are you talking about? These aren't mine.
Monica: Well, the good news is, I dont think anyones looking at us.
Monica: Me too! Yeah, Chandler cant stand it. He wont even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.
Monica: She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn.
Monica: Hey! Do you think that we can get to the subway right there if we climb down through the manhole cover?
The Doctor: I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told me you were a little nervous, but don't worry everything's gonna be just fine.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are having their party. All the guests are stripped down because of the heat.]
Monica: All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food!
Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if youre gonna be moving in with him I feel its my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? Hes a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm Oh-oh he always, he always ummOh, who am I kidding! Hes the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)