words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there to watch Joey's first scene as Dr. Drake Remoray.]
Monica: What?
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Monica: Yes.
[The next flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. Monica is at a job interview at a new restaurant.]
Monica: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
Monica: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Monica: That's your call.
Monica: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
Monica: They'r alright.
Monica: No really, they're OK.
Monica: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
Monica: I'm outa here. [Monica leaves]
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Well, what happened?
Monica: Was it...
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Monica: (startled) Ahh! Arent you dressed yet?
Monica: Were supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.
Monica: Wh?! What about my allergies?!
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Rachel are consoling Chandler.]
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
[The next flashback is from The One After The Superbowl, Part II. Monica and Rachel are fighting over who gets to see Jean-Claude Van Damme.]
Monica: You had no right to go out with him.
Monica: You sold me out.
Monica: Yes you did. You absolutely sold me...
Rachel: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Monica: Did you just flick me?
Rachel: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
(Rachel tackles Monica onto the couch.)
(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it.)This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)
(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.) Monica and Rachel: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Monica: Fine!
Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can’t believe he would do this to Monica!
Monica: Im just saying, if we put just a little bit of makeup on you.
Monica: Alright, you know, we got it, we got it. Let's play for real. High stakes... big bucks...
Monica: It's just, I'm not good at singing.
Monica: I'm there!
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
MONICA: No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.
Monica: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!
Monica: You kissed him?
Monica: I thought you hated him?
Monica: Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing?
Monica: So are you thinking of starting up something with this guy?
Monica: Okay, listen, there's still some of Chandler's medicine under the sink in the bathroom. Bye!
Monica: Daddy! I dont think we need to hear about the specific positions you and mom had sex.
Monica: (entering, in a hurry) Guys! Guys! I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside.
Monica: Yeah, let-let-lets pretend thats not true.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: (looks at it more closely) Oh that's an eye removal machine.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is entering, still pregnant.]
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
Monica: What?
Monica: No I told you I can't.
Monica: Okay. (As Brenda exits Monica notices something.)
Monica: Im just so excited to make the presents! (Chandler does another sarcastic/scared laugh and leaves.) Shoot!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching Joey pace nervously as Rachel enters.]
Monica: What have you heard me sing?
(Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a drink as Phoebe enters with the fur coat.]
Monica: Wait wait! I can't sing in front of all these people.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's]
Monica: "To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?"
Monica: Oh, I still cant believe my dad saw us having sex! He didnt make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees!
Ross: No, its not just cause Im jealous. (Both Monica and Chandler give him a Come on look) I mean Im not, Im not, Im not jealous, okay? Its Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats.
Monica: Mom�s here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.
MONICA: (smiling) I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy.
Monica: What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come youre having a party and were not invited?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's]
Monica: All right, watch!
Monica: And they love me!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time has lapsed, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Monica: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Monica: What are you doing?! Chandler! You cant just go back a phase!
<Amy pushes Rachel and Monica goes berserk and runs around the table>
Monica: Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here?
Monica: He's not great umm, but he's dealing with it. Oh wait a minute, you're not gonna try
Monica: I don't care. <pauses and realizes...> Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
(Monica enters and Chandler screams stuff at the TV.)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Oh my god.
Monica: Oh, it's perfect.
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
Monica: I thought I lost it. I got a new one, like, a month ago.
Monica: No, it's not.
Monica: Yeah.
(Monica looks at him.)
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Chandler!
Monica: So, let's do this.
Monica: We're okay. I'm still ovulating.
Monica: Canoodling?
Monica: I guess you're right.
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Joey: So what's it gonna be? (Monica whispers in Joey's ear. Ross gets up and waves arms frantically in protest)
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: She's asleep.
Monica: She's asleep. Chandler?
Monica (laughs): Okay, I'll try.
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
Monica: Two guys in one night? Wow, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed.
Monica: Yes, but we have to be fast.
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Monica: (Doesn't believe what she's hearing) Was your cabin pressurised?
Monica: Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.
Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.
Monica: Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally.
Monica: Oh my god, where's Emma? Where's Emma?
Monica: Oh my god, then...
Rachel: Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
Monica (on phone): Hey, Rach, how's it going?
Monica: Hey, did you stop by here?
Monica: No, we weren't!
(Monica hangs up, and Rachel looks at her phone.)
Monica (to Joey): Why the hell did you take her?
Monica: Oh, thank god! Emma, there you are!
Monica: Unless what?
Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
MONICA: Yes, because all good plans start with, "I'll go down the fire escape."
Phoebe: (walking up) Whats up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica Im sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!
Monica: Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls.
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Monica: Why not?
Monica: Wow! I Had no idea you had this much pride.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is lying in front of the bay window, and the phone rings.]
Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.