words in movies
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Monica: Ok, I dont wanna be negative so Ill say that most of the signs you bought are good.
Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey.
Monica: Honey why dont you go lie down.
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Monica: Wow, hes really not letting this go, is he?
Monica: Breaks your heart doesnt it
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Monica: Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
Monica: It worked!
Monica: Umm, she Rach, not it, she.
Monica: Oh my god, I am losing my mind.
Monica: Try feeding her again.
Monica: I know, thats why I said again!
Monica: Hey.
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Monica: Okay whats up
Monica: Oh yeah (smiles).
Monica: What? Who says that?
Monica: Whats going on?
Monica: Excuse me?
Monica: (stands up angry) Tulsa, Oklahoma!
Monica: Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!
Monica: Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa.
Monica: About a week and a half.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Monica: Rach, try holding her a different way.
Monica: Youre just new at this, itll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldnt have been easy but you figured that out.
Monica: Okay Ill take her, here. (Takes Emma)
Monica: (To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep)
Monica: It worked! Ooh baby baby baby, ooh baby baby baby!
Monica: I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Monica: Yes I did, Im Monica, Super Aunt
Monica: Yes I am!!
Monica: Say what?
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Monica: What?
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Monica: Shhh! We just got her to go to sleep
Monica: No.
Monica: (loudly) What!?
Rachel: No its really okay Monica!
Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!
Ross: Monica? You're Mom.
Monica: Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... (to the rest) Did you think the neighborhood was homey? (Chandler enters)
Monica: For what?
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God.
Monica: Alright, alright, alright...
Monica: Oh, you got the whole night, huh?
Monica: You got the job?! Why didnt you tell me?
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this?!
Chandler: (arm-in-arm with Monica) Hey Pheebs!
Monica: Look, I- I could go on pretending-
[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Monica, Joey, Angela, and Bob are seated at the table.]
Monica: Matt Guire, Mark Lynn, Ben Wire
Monica: (leaping off of the couch and runs up) Wait! Did you say 'G.Stephanopoulos?'
Monica: My brother's going through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it?
Monica: Maybe this wasn't your shot.
Monica: I think he's shy.
Monica: We're kidding. C'mon, tell us!
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
Ross: (Doing the spinning) Okay, Monica: Right foot red.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Phoebe: She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it's fine!
Monica: Oh, George, baby, drop the towel!
(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and stops.)
Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.
Monica: My boots in tan! Hey! Can you get a little closer so I can see the price?
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
Monica: Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)
Monica: What?
Monica: Hello?
Monica: (to everyone) It's Chandler! (on phone) Are you OK?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The phone rings; it's Chandler.]
MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
Monica: I have no idea what you just said.
Monica: You did not go!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.]
Monica: Oh my God! What were you doing in a library?
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Monica: Why not?
Monica: Outside.
Monica: And that would be?
Monica: Oh, okay. Here, why dont you let me do it?
Monica: About what?
Monica: My surprise party!
Monica: Joey, what's going on?
Monica: Oh my God! I love him!
Monica: No, you are not. We tell you stuff.
Rachel: Monica? Monica!
Monica: Water rules!
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
MONICA: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Ross and Rachel are talking.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is listening amused.]
[Cut to inside. Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Monica: Hi!
Monica: Hi!
Monica: What are you doing here? You cant be here!
Monica: (smitten) Hi!
Monica: Hey Frannie, welcome back! How was Florida?
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Monica: Oh, is everything in the car?
MONICA: Rose Marie really belongs on a smaller screen, doesn't she?
Monica: Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?
Monica: Im gonna go across the hall to check on the yams.
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
(Monica crosses her legs and is still wearing the garter belt.)
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there.)
Monica: I did.
(Monica leaves, and Chandler closes the door. Erica just looks at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the window waving at Ross.]
(Phone rings; Monica gets it)
Monica: What?
Monica: Nothing.
Monica: Oh God!
MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles.
Monica: I know.
Monica: She is unbelievable, our mother is...
Monica: Hey, we can take her back with you if you want.
Monica: Ross!
Monica: Okay. (Chandler grabs the dish from Monica and hands it to Will who starts dishing out a large helping.)
(Monica and Ross enter.)
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
Monica: We checked. A lot.
Monica: Dad!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.]
Monica: You what?
Monica: That's probably what they'll say.
Monica: They've arrested Monica.
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! It's her wedding day!
Monica: How are you?
Fake Monica: Hey.
Monica: Are these the shoes?
Monica: It was a really beautiful service.