words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Monica: What was it for?
Joey: (to Monica and Phoebe) They loved me!
Monica: Wow!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Monica: Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand?
Monica: I gotta make up the guest bedroom. (To Ross) Hey, Cousin Cassie is coming to stay with us a few days.
Monica: Uh-hmm.
Monica: Ross, shes 25 years old.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Subtle guys!
Monica: I know youre planning my surprise bridal shower.
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (She goes into the guest bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is entering.]
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Monica: Thats what you say about porn.
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Monica: Plus, everyones gonna see your thing. (Giggles.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are trying to plan Monicas shower.]
Rachel: Ooh great! Very Monica.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch writing when Chandler enters to make his brief cameo.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Oh boy me too!
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: The wedding is off, sloppy and immature!
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Monica: Shrill?! The wedding is back on!
Monica: So, are you ready to go?
Monica: (catching him) Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Chandler and Monica enters.]
Monica: (To Ross) Cassie needs to stay at your place.
Monica: Because Purvry Perverson over here cant stop staring at her.
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Monica: You were staring about eight inches south of there.
Monica: She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn.
Monica: Wafer thin ice!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
Monica: So to get this part you cant be?
Monica: But you are?
Monica: But you told them you werent?
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Monica: Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!
Monica: Unless!
Monica: Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion.
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Monica: Okay. (Opens the fridge.) All right, turkey. Eh, that wont work. Cheese? (Picks it up) That wont work. Olive loaf? (Picks it up) I hope that wont work.
Monica: No its umm, more like a wrap. Okay so uh, Im gonna go guys.
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monicas place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, its Monicas bridal shower and Phoebe is passing out some finger food.]
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Woman: So, what time is Monica supposed to get here?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.]
Monica: Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on.
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
Monica: Oh, just until the glue dries.
Monica: (to a whole group) Now, these are-are more realistic, but perishable.
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Monica: Toothpick?
Monica: What are you trying on now?
Monica: And?
Monica: Joey!
Monica: What?! Which one?!
[Scene: outside Phoebe's apartment, Monica is knocking on the door.]
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Rachel: Oh Monica, we are so sorry.
Monica: For what?
Monica: You al-you already had it?
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents (Motions to the pile in the corner) without having to talk to people I dont even like!
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
Rachel: Monica.
[Monica slams the door back shut]
MONICA: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
Monica: So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
MONICA: Just go.
MONICA: And his puppet too.
Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!
Monica: (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You cant go out there.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, one week later. Monica is seated, Rachel comes out of her bedroom.]
MONICA: You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
MONICA: Phoebe.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are in the kitchen.]
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
MONICA: Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Monica: Oh THATS ME! (she runs to the pizza guy)
MONICA: Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
MONICA: Thank you.
MONICA: Ok, that's enough.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
Ross: Monica, youre so lucky! Hes like the most popular guy in school!!
MONICA: Give it to me.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.
MONICA: Had it.
MONICA: Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.
MONICA: Just waiting for you sweetie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there except Rachel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is recovering from the shock.]
Monica: Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!
MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
[Scene: Monica and Van Damme are walking down the street.]
MONICA: Oh, why does this bother me so much? I mean I don't wanna be one of those people who tells their boyfriend they wanna spend 24 hours a day with them.
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Monica: I know it is the best.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Ryan are playing Monopoly.]
MONICA: It's Richard Burke.
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
(Monicas entrance makes Phoebe try to hide the ring by putting it in her mouth.)
MONICA: Aaahhhhhhh! Aaahhhh!
MONICA: Very good.
MONICA: No. See you don't understand.
MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.
MONICA: Oh yeah.
MONICA: Alright, well tell me one of yours.
Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
Monica: Yknow what? I am really tired of your bellyaching! Okay, I-I worked really hard at making this a nice place for us to live!
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.]
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
MONICA: Yeah?
MONICA: What's up?
RICHARD: Monica, wake up. Monica.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
Phoebe: Nobody! Nobody respects the bucket! You wouldn't believe what people put in here! Look! (Hands it to Monica.) Okay, does this look like a garbage can to you?
MONICA: Alright, go on.
MONICA: Oh my God, you're a freak.
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
MONICA: Then what's the problem?
Phoebe: (Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.
Rachel: Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
MONICA: What, forget it!
MONICA: That's ok. I'm sorry I poisoned you.
Monica: Ahh, Pete, the other day when you said you needed to talk, umm, just so I know, is it good news or bad news.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Richard are there]
MONICA: Please!
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Monica: All right, Ive heard enough. Ive made my decision.
MONICA: What are you talking about? What wedding?
MONICA: Could not be more terrified.
MONICA: Uh-huh.
Monica: Yes Phoebe, but this is all I have. Okay? (She pours out the rest of her change purse into the bucket.)
(Everyone follows Rachel to the living room. Monica pulls Joey aside.)
(Rachel, Ross, and Monica exit)
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Monica: Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises!
MONICA: Okay, one more, please. Come on, I'm gonna get it in this time, I will.
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.
MONICA: You'll do what?
Monica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?
MONICA: Really?
MONICA: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Hi Monica!
Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.
MONICA: Keep talkin'.
Monica: Pheebs, hows it going?
MONICA: Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.