words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
Monica: What was it for?
Joey: (to Monica and Phoebe) They loved me!
Monica: Wow!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Monica: Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand?
Monica: I gotta make up the guest bedroom. (To Ross) Hey, Cousin Cassie is coming to stay with us a few days.
Monica: Uh-hmm.
Monica: Ross, shes 25 years old.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Subtle guys!
Monica: I know youre planning my surprise bridal shower.
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (She goes into the guest bedroom.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is entering.]
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Monica: Thats what you say about porn.
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Monica: Plus, everyones gonna see your thing. (Giggles.)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are trying to plan Monicas shower.]
Rachel: Ooh great! Very Monica.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch writing when Chandler enters to make his brief cameo.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Oh boy me too!
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: The wedding is off, sloppy and immature!
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Monica: Shrill?! The wedding is back on!
Monica: So, are you ready to go?
Monica: (catching him) Chandler!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Chandler and Monica enters.]
Monica: (To Ross) Cassie needs to stay at your place.
Monica: Because Purvry Perverson over here cant stop staring at her.
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Monica: You were staring about eight inches south of there.
Monica: She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn.
Monica: Wafer thin ice!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
Monica: So to get this part you cant be?
Monica: But you are?
Monica: But you told them you werent?
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Monica: Joey! This is not like learning to ride a horse! This is like learning to grow a turtleneck!
Monica: Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!
Monica: Unless!
Monica: Well, this may sound crazy, but there maybe something we could fashion.
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Monica: Okay. (Opens the fridge.) All right, turkey. Eh, that wont work. Cheese? (Picks it up) That wont work. Olive loaf? (Picks it up) I hope that wont work.
Monica: No its umm, more like a wrap. Okay so uh, Im gonna go guys.
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monicas place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, its Monicas bridal shower and Phoebe is passing out some finger food.]
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Woman: So, what time is Monica supposed to get here?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.]
Monica: Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on.
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
Monica: Oh, just until the glue dries.
Monica: (to a whole group) Now, these are-are more realistic, but perishable.
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Monica: Toothpick?
Monica: What are you trying on now?
Monica: And?
Monica: Joey!
Monica: What?! Which one?!
[Scene: outside Phoebe's apartment, Monica is knocking on the door.]
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Rachel: Oh Monica, we are so sorry.
Monica: For what?
Monica: You al-you already had it?
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents (Motions to the pile in the corner) without having to talk to people I dont even like!
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
Rachel: Monica.
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
MONICA: You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this.
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
Monica: No, umm, he met some girl at the coffee house.
Monica: And lucky means, more cleavage?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: (interrupting) No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: She said that?!
Monica: Umm
Monica: Why?!
MONICA: Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.
Monica: So, is Joey gonna stop snoring?
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
Monica: Sometimes we were.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: We were shopping, and we had lunch.
Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
Monica: Youll see.
Monica: Oh my God! Hes gonna rat me out!
Monica: I got you the foot massager.
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Monica: Ohh. And I dont even have a date.
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
MONICA: Give it to me.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: (to Chandler) Shh!! (On phone) Wait, what?
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Monica: Phoebe, they didnt make you pay for those knives, did they?
Monica: Well, thanks, we like him.
Monica: I was laughing. (Patting him on the knee.)
Monica: But more importantly to full well-rounded lives.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
(Chandlers trying to console Monica.)
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Monica: Then why would he say it?
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Monica: Yep, yep...You?
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
Joey: Have you seen Monica?
Monica: Ok, thank you.(the man leaves) Uh, well this is it. Are you OK?
Monica: Chicken Kiev?
[ Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Chandler, Monica and Emma are sitting on the floor, and Emma's stuffed animals are lined up in front of them.]
Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
Ross: So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. (he tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand)
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
Monica: What were we thinking?
Monica: Stupid.
Monica: Oh yeah. Definitely.
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Petes computer company?
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Ill meet you there in two minutes.
Monica: Only here.
Monica: See, Ive been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people Im only planning on doing this once. So, uh yknow, maybe this is selfish and Im sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that.
Monica: Oh, I-I dont know.
Rachel: Monica, what should I do?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: Ill call you back. (starts kissing him)
Monica: All right. (Goes to take off the dress.)
Monica: Thats true.
Monica: (entering) Hey, guys. Im here to pick out my Christmas tree.
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Monica: Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!
Monica: Great
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
Monica: No time for that!
Monica: You really think this is okay?
Monica: Okay!
Monica: Or 45.
Monica: Yeah, I think you should keep looking!
Monica: You didnt find her?
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Chandler: (To Monica) I love you. And I know about the baby.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Ha ha, a joke thats funny in all countries.
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
Fat Monica: Okay!
Monica: 'I drink tea.'
Monica: Im changing out of this.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.