words in movies
Monica: Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better?
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Monica: Ok, you got it!
Monica: Really? If that's what you want...
Monica: Damn it! Rookie mistake!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... (reads from the screen) "gay as the day is long"?
Monica: But that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true. (Phone rings)
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing?
Monica: What are you, animals? It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon!
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Monica: And now your cell.
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
Monica: This is your cellphone?
Monica: This is your current cellphone?
Monica: Phoebe, where's your purse?
(They run for Phoebe's purse, Phoebe gets there first and takes the cell. Monica tries to take it away from her)
Monica: No, no! Give it to me!
Monica: Give it to me!
Monica: I'll go in there.
Monica: Phoebe come here
(they fight a little, the phone falls and Monica picks it up)
Monica: Haha!
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Enter Monica]
Monica: Haha!
Monica: So Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door.
Monica: Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping.
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Monica: Who's that? (goes to open door)
(Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway)
Monica: (To Mike) What are you doing here?
Monica: Phoebe!
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Monica: Base Unit! Think Monica! Think!
Monica: (to Mike) This doesn't concern you!!
Monica: Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just going to make getting over each other, that much harder.
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Monica: Oh wow wow wow!! Make room for your friend! (sits herself down between them)
Monica: I've been pretty good!
Monica: Oh no no no no... this is dangerous territory. Keep it clean!
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Joey: It's Monica, ok?
Rachel: That's not Monica!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment: Phoebe, Monica and Mike sitting on the couch]
(Monica is getting up from the couch)
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Monica: (running back into the room) Kiss him, you fool!!
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!
Monica: Excuse me?
Monica: Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
Monica: You didn't hear the speech!
Monica: Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless!
Monica: You're... weird!
Monica: Oh (realizes her pants are undone and zips them up)!
Monica: Damn it!
Monica: And I blame you too.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Chandler and Monica go open the door)
Monica: Hi, glad you could come.
Monica: So, did you know Ross well?
Monica: (a bit surprised) Yes, he is. Me.
Monica: I look like a man??
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
Monica: You are married though.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
MONICA: Um-hmm.
Monica: I was just waiting for the perfect guy.
Monica: No! But, Im throwing this shirt away! I think there was a little misunderstanding before.
Monica: Yo- hooo!
MONICA: I wa-
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
[Chandler and Joey are watching, Rachel turns their heads away from Monica.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
MONICA: Who?
MONICA: Oh.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
MONICA: Do you not remember the puppet guy?
MONICA: Finger cramp. Oh God, sorry. Here, let me get that mom.
MONICA: You're right.
MONICA: We're good.
MONICA: Are you sure this time?
MONICA: Yes. But all the other ones.
MONICA: Nice.
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.
MONICA: Woah, woah, woah, let's go back to 29.
MONICA: Yeah, well they suck too.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, everyone is still eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for a barbecue for Rachel's birthday.]
Helena: Im not very fond of New York. Queens I like. (Noticing Monicas ring.) Ooh, what is this sparkle something! (Shows the audience who woos.) Honey! Huh?
MONICA: [her and Phoebe tilt their heads] Oh, that's too bad.
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
Monica: Yeah, Ive just been fiddling around in here making delicious treats for everyone.
MONICA: Really.
MONICA: Wow.
MONICA: Why?
MONICA: Weird, weird.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Rachel: See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse.
MONICA: [seeing TV] Hey, I went up.
Monica: (jumps over a box) Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor!
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum.
MONICA: We didn't order cake.
MONICA: The head tilt?
Ross: (picking up Chi-Chis picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Yknow Monica couldnt get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
MONICA: [answers the door] Dr. Greene. Oh my God it's Rachel's dad. What're you doing here?
[Scene: Outside Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is returning.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are busy unpacking.]
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
MONICA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, where are we on the hundred bucks?
MONICA: I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
Monica: Chandler, this actually bothers you?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica: Oh my God, what would have done if I said yes?
Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park.
Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?
CHANDLER: Hi Monica.
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
MONICA: What?
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
MONICA: Well, maybe you don't need them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Ross and Chandler. Monica is making food, and having everyone try it.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Phoebe: (checking for herself) (To Monica) Mazel tov.
MONICA: So what happened?
Monica: And youve never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot!
Monica: So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
[Monica slams the door back shut]
MONICA: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
Monica: So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
MONICA: Just go.
MONICA: And his puppet too.
Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!
Monica: (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You cant go out there.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, one week later. Monica is seated, Rachel comes out of her bedroom.]
MONICA: You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
MONICA: Phoebe.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are in the kitchen.]
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
MONICA: Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Monica: Oh THATS ME! (she runs to the pizza guy)
MONICA: Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
MONICA: Thank you.
MONICA: Ok, that's enough.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
Ross: Monica, youre so lucky! Hes like the most popular guy in school!!
MONICA: Give it to me.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.
MONICA: Had it.
MONICA: Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.