words in movies
Monica: Let me try. (Gets up to join them.)
Monica: Did I squeeze it too hard?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the window waving at Ross.]
Joey: That's right Ross, I can see you in your new apartment! And you can see me! Same as yesterday, (To Monica) same as the day before.
Monica: Is he doing his shark attack bit yet?
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
Monica: Get in there man! Flirt back, mix it up!
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Monica: (joining him) Wow! She is pretty, huh?
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering again.]
Monica: What happened?
Monica: No Joey, I think he's just watchin' TV.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day, Gary is kissing Phoebe good-bye.]
Monica: What?
Monica: Wow! For just a week you guys are really close, huh?
Monica: I know it is the best.
Monica: What? It's still going on.
Monica: I-I am serious, I mean, we're, we're all over each other all the time.
Monica: (Start annoying hyper-competitive mode now.) (Jumping up) What don't you just calm down Phoebe! All right?! Why dont you just get all your facts before you run around telling everybody that you're the only hot couple!!
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.
Monica: Oh no, it is okay, I mean as long as you know that Chandler and I are also very hot and fiery, just as hot as you! I mean our flame, whew, is on fire!
Chandler: (entering) Hey Monica, here's your broom back.
Monica: You are so cute. (She goes over and kisses him passionately.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler and Joey are there as Rachel returns from her interview.]
Monica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Rach, a guy from Ralph Lauren called, you got a second interview!
Monica: Yes!
Monica: A kiss? What are you talking about?
Monica: He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from her interview attempt.]
(Joey, Monica, and Ross all point to their lips to get Rachel to once again notice the ink on her lip.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Gary and Chandler and Monica are all there.]
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
Monica: Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?
Monica: Okay. (She gets up and walks over to Chandler.) Chandler? Can I see you for a second?
Monica: Okay. (They walk away to get some privacy.) We have got to beat them! {Here we go yet again.}
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Chandler: Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, a post-coital Monica and Chandler are recovering on the couch.]
Monica: Phoebe and Gary are so gonna hear about this at dinner.
Monica: We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best.
Monica: No, you're the best.
Monica: I am the best.
Monica: (looking out the window) Hey Joey! Isn't that the girl that waved at you the other day?
Monica: Why?
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
Monica: No, those first two windows, (Points) that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong.
Joey: I did not know that! Thank you Monica. (Starts to leave) I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting.
[Scene: A restaurant, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Gary are on a double date. Chandler is yawning.]
Monica: You better believe he's tired, after the day we had! If you know what I mean. You know what I mean?
Monica: Phoebe, you have a, a twig in your hair.
Monica: You didn't!
Monica: The park huh? A public place.
Monica: I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! (Gets up and heads for the bathroom as that annoying Gotta-win-at-all-costs-super-competitive thing kicks in again.)
[Cut to the Men's room. Chandler is practicing flashing his badge as Monica enters.]
Monica: Hi Chandler.
Chandler: Monica! This is the Men's room! (Pause) Isn't it?
Monica: Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Monica: Come on, we can't let them win!
Monica: Because Phoebe and Gary are in that-can't-keep-their-hands-off-each-other-doing-it-in-the-park phase!
Monica: I feel really sad that we're not really there anymore.
Monica: Wasn't it a lot more exciting when we were y'know all over each other all the time?
Monica: Really?
Monica: That is so sweet. I know that I was acting a little crazy but umm, I feel the same way.
Monica: Yeah. (They hug.)
Monica: Did not.
Monica: Okay, I freaked out a little.
Chandler: Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.
[Cut to the inside of Monica and Rachel's apartment, Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table.]
Monica: Thank God! I can't watch him anymore!
(We see through the big window from the outside and see that Monica and Rachel have pictures of their faces pasted onto cardboard cutouts of Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth wearing their Baywatch swimsuits.)
MONICA: Um-hmm.
Monica: I was just waiting for the perfect guy.
Monica: No! But, Im throwing this shirt away! I think there was a little misunderstanding before.
Monica: Yo- hooo!
MONICA: I wa-
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
[Chandler and Joey are watching, Rachel turns their heads away from Monica.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
MONICA: Who?
MONICA: Oh.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
MONICA: Do you not remember the puppet guy?
MONICA: Finger cramp. Oh God, sorry. Here, let me get that mom.
MONICA: You're right.
MONICA: We're good.
MONICA: Are you sure this time?
MONICA: Yes. But all the other ones.
MONICA: Nice.
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.
MONICA: Woah, woah, woah, let's go back to 29.
MONICA: Yeah, well they suck too.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, everyone is still eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for a barbecue for Rachel's birthday.]
Helena: Im not very fond of New York. Queens I like. (Noticing Monicas ring.) Ooh, what is this sparkle something! (Shows the audience who woos.) Honey! Huh?
MONICA: [her and Phoebe tilt their heads] Oh, that's too bad.
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
Monica: Yeah, Ive just been fiddling around in here making delicious treats for everyone.
MONICA: Really.
MONICA: Wow.
MONICA: Why?
MONICA: Weird, weird.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Rachel: See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse.
MONICA: [seeing TV] Hey, I went up.
Monica: (jumps over a box) Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor!
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum.
MONICA: We didn't order cake.
MONICA: The head tilt?
Ross: (picking up Chi-Chis picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Yknow Monica couldnt get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
MONICA: [answers the door] Dr. Greene. Oh my God it's Rachel's dad. What're you doing here?
[Scene: Outside Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is returning.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are busy unpacking.]
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
MONICA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, where are we on the hundred bucks?
MONICA: I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
Monica: Chandler, this actually bothers you?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica: Oh my God, what would have done if I said yes?
Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park.
Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?
CHANDLER: Hi Monica.
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
MONICA: What?
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
MONICA: Well, maybe you don't need them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Ross and Chandler. Monica is making food, and having everyone try it.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Phoebe: (checking for herself) (To Monica) Mazel tov.
MONICA: So what happened?
Monica: And youve never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot!
Monica: So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
[Monica slams the door back shut]
MONICA: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
Monica: So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
MONICA: Just go.
MONICA: And his puppet too.
Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!
Monica: (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You cant go out there.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, one week later. Monica is seated, Rachel comes out of her bedroom.]
MONICA: You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
MONICA: Phoebe.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are in the kitchen.]
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
MONICA: Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Monica: Oh THATS ME! (she runs to the pizza guy)
MONICA: Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
MONICA: Thank you.
MONICA: Ok, that's enough.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
Ross: Monica, youre so lucky! Hes like the most popular guy in school!!
MONICA: Give it to me.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.
MONICA: Had it.
MONICA: Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.