words in movies
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter. Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]
Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
(Monica helps Rachel over to a vacant seat.)
(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)
Monica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?
Monica: Really?
Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?
Monica: (No longer touched) you don't have insurance?
Monica: I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars.
Monica: Well there's not much we can do.
Monica: Hah, no no no no no no no no no no.
Monica: (Looking around to check that no-one's listening, then lowering her voice anyway) That's insurance fraud.
Monica: (Jumping up to make Rachel sit down) Okay, okay. I hate this.
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
Monica: (Tiny laugh) I am really an idiot. (Tiny laugh) you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, (tiny laugh) I put mine.
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
Dr. Mitchell: Okay, errrr, Monica?
Monica: Yes? (jumping as Rachel punches her arm) ..yes, she is.
Rachel (as Monica): Hi, this is my friend Rachel.
Monica (as Rachel): Hi.
(Monica and Rachel smile back prettily.)
Monica (as Rachel): Thank you.
Rachel (as Monica): Right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Monica: Uh, you left out the stupid part.
Monica: I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates.
Rachel: What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, (spelling it out in the air for her slow friend) cute doctors, doctors who are cute!
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Monica: Come on, she'll be here any minute.
Monica: Oh...
Monica: Well maybe we can make a, a, a 'B' out of one of those roses.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is just getting off of the intercom and turns off the TV which is still in the SAP mode.]
Monica: Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
(Monica opens the door for Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Geoffrey.)
Monica: Hi, come on in.
Monica: Hi, Geoffrey.
Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, how's the ankle?
Monica: It's uh...
Monica (as Rachel): ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle.
Rachel (as Monica): You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um... Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, and we'll get you some glasses... okay... (They don't know what to do with their coats and Monica points to the living room) STAT!
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Monica: It will not be fine. We'll get in trouble.
Rachel: Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss?
Monica: A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world, okay?
Monica: I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a, a big baby.
Monica: Sure, every time, you're such a princess...
Monica: What?
Monica: What!?
Monica: (getting angry) What!!?
(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)
Rachel: (as Monica) Thanks! I've been here about six years, and Rachel moved in a few months ago.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. (Indicating a dish on the table) Why don't you try the hummus?
Dr. Rosen: So, Monica, what do you do?
Rachel: (as Monica) Aahh, I'm a... chef at a restaurant uptown.
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
Monica: (as Rachel) (Suddenly laughing) Oh, god, I am so spoiled... That's it!
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Monica: (as Rachel) I used to wet my bed.
Rachel: (as Monica) I use my breasts to get other people's attention.
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
(Monica glares triumphantly across the room, scaring Rachel who also stands up.)
Monica: (as Rachel) Remember back in freshman year? (Talking fast before Rachel can catch her) Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica sit round the coffee table, playing Scrabble. Rachel, still in her dressing gown, is pleading on the phone, her free hand shaking with agitation.]
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
(Monica smiles a sweet apology of regret, until she's distracted by Marcel as he clambers all over her nice furniture.)
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
Rachel and Monica: Oh god, waddawe do, waddawe do, waddawe do?
Monica: I don't know! Why don't you just explain? What do they want? Find out what they want!
Monica: (taking the phone) Hello, this is Monica... Yeah??? Oh... (Smiles at Rachel to reassure her) Okay, yes, we'll be right, we'll be right down.(Listens) Thank you. (Hangs up)
Monica: We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: Yes.
Monica: Hi.
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi, remember us?
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
Monica: (as Rachel) I am. I'm that stupid. (Little laugh.)
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, I know... (mirroring her friend) ..I'm I'm just not that bright either.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)
Monica: What's goin' on?
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Rachel and Monica: Oh, thank you.
Monica: Michael.
Monica: (as Rachel) Monica.
Rachel: (as Monica) Oh.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi.
(Monica smiles to cover her embarrassment, but Rachel sadly looks away...)
[Scene: The Hospital, Marcel lies on the operating table while recovering from the anaesthetic, tucked up under a sheet like an infant in a huge bed. Ross sits beside him, as a smiling Chandler, Monica and Rachel look on.]
Monica: Oh, look, he's waking up!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
Monica: �A qui�n pidio el pollo General Tso? (Who ordered General Sal's chicken?)
Monica: Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. (Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote.)
Monica: Old?
Monica: Thats much better.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: (gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
Monica: Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Monica: That other play?
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Monica: I had to go with the odds Rach.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Monica: Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Monica: Honey, we gotta go!
Monica: Really?
Monica: I just, I cant believe that we made it!
Monica: Im sorry but nothing.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Monica: What is that?
(Monica and her parents walk up.)
Helena: (To Monica) And who is your friend?
Monica: Hi Mr. Bing.
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
[Cut to Monica.]
Monica: I cant find garbage bags!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
Monica: Who wants it? Anybody?
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
Monica: Nobody wants to do it? All right, Ill do it myself.
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (Monica goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: (reading the note) Tell Monica Im sorry.
Ross: Is uh, is Monica here?
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the next morning, Rachel and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Oh Soap Opera Digest award!
[Scene, Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is there. Everything is out of its place and Chandler's cleaning.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Monica: I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Monica: About what?
Monica: (jumping up) Rachel! You okay?
Monica: Any woman would be lucky to have ya.
Joey: (interrupting) Was his name Angus? (Monica and Chandler laugh.)
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still trying to stall Monica.]
Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice.
Monica: (entering) Whats going on?
Monica: I cant go to lunch!!
(Monica goes into the bathroom and Rachel thinks quickly.)
Monica: (starting to cry) Im so happy for me.
Phoebe: Oh my God Monica!
Monica: I wanna wear this everyday.
(Monica enters wearing her wedding dress.)
(Monica enters.)
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Monica: Well, youre-youre sweating.
Monica: Chandler come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle.
Ross: Oh my God! Monica!
Monica: Are you okay?
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Monica: Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after youre done.
Monica: I know! Hey, hows Chandler doin?
Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Chandler: Monicas pregnant.
Chandler: I know about Monica.
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
Monica: Wow! I cant believe I actually rolled an eight.
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Monica: Not now.
Monica: Shes right there.
Monica: (To Chandler) Who is this?
Monica: (To Rachel) He took off?
Monica: I do.
Monica: (looks at Chandler) In in two weeks.
Monica: What baby?
Monica: We have a baby?
Monica: I didnt take a pregnancy test.
[Cut to Central Perk, first season Monica is talking.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are talking.]
Monica: (disgusted) Limited seating! Oh, that is such a lame excuse! Thats not the reason shes not inviting me!
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
Monica: What are you doing?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the party. Everyone has left, except for the gang.]
Monica: Oh geez! Okay! Thanks!
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]
MONICA: GET OUT YOU DUFUS!!
Monica: I knew you were likely to take a wife!
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (looks at Joey.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, same scene.]
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
(Monica screams and they all stare at her.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!