words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, grow up!
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
Monica: Not really.
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler enters with a bouquet of roses.]
Monica: (from her bedroom) Okay! Ill be right out. Im slipping into something a little less comfortable, and a little more slutty.
Chandler: (picking up a video from the table) Candy and Cookie. Candy and Cookie? Monica got me porn?! Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!! (Chandler runs over to the TV, puts the tape in, and sits down to enjoy some "porn")
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) So what do you think? (referring to her outfit)
(Chandler glances up at Monica with his mouth still wide open and his eyes still huge)
Monica: (to herself) Ive still got it!
Monica: What is it?
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Monica: Honey, whats going on?
Monica: Mm-hmm.
Monica: Chandler, we cant let this tape wreck Valentines Day!
Monica: Child-birth, its a natural thing! Its beautiful.
Monica: Oh! Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me!
Monica: Dont touch me!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Monica: How long has it been this time?
Monica: Thats better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it except all I did was think about it.
Monica: Okay, well, we have to get past this! Why dont we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed?
Monica: Okay.
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
Monica: Oh, thank God!
Monica: Come in!
Monica: Oh, my God.
(Monica and Chandler both look at each other and run over to the window to watch the action in Ross apartment)
Monica: Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see? Its here.
Monica: No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you!
Monica: Shes right of course not. Honey, get the tape.
Monica: Its still beautiful.
Monica: I know! I know, Im so sorry for you!
(Monica and Rachel both cover their eyes)
Monica: Oh, look at those little fingers and toes!
Monica: Oh Rach!
Monica: Look, I don't wanna do this test either, but I really do think it's a good idea!
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: A love scene? With who?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the sofa]
Monica: What do you think brought than on?
Monica: Wait wait wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I missed that?
Monica: It was hard!
Rachel and Monica: Hi.
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, y'know what, when he left I actually used the phrase, Hummina-hummina-hummina. (walks away)
Monica: Tiny portions?
Monica: My pink flowered bra! I recognize the strap!
Monica: I didn't say your songs were not good enough.
(Monica comes out)
Monica: Ok, you have to stop playing now.
Monica: Oh yeah? Ok, let's settle this, come on!
Monica: Well, y'know how I always wanted to go out with Chip Matthews in high school?
Monica: Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
Monica: I'm sorry...
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before its too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesnt get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
Monica: ooohh... hey! Wanna stick around and I'll whip you up some dinner?
Monica: (gets up) Okay, y'know what, Im not fine, Im not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... (pause) Y'know what, what if were friends who dont see other people?
Monica: It sounds interesting!
Monica: Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore.
Monica: (she draws out a ticket from a pocket of her pants) 131! (they kiss)
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: No, no, Rachel?
Monica: Yeah, she hates all mass produced stuff. She thinks her furniture should have a history, a story behind it.
Monica: In the hall.
(Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him)
Monica: Which one?
Monica: Both of them?
Monica: (whispering) You can't!
Monica: Who, who are they?
Monica: What the hell are you cooking!
Monica: Rachel, things can get incredibly complicated.
Monica: What's so bad about that?
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Phoebe, it's not about quantity.
Monica: Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him.
Monica: (depressed) Thats right. Im no longer a bride. Ill never be a bride again. Now, Im just someones wife!
Monica: Ok..You know the old classics you know,You look nice? They're still ok.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.]
Monica: (to Ross) So, did you two have fun?
(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)
Monica: You're not sick!
Rachel: Sure! (Monica takes her apart) Oh...
Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!
Monica: (aloud) WHAT?
Monica: Ok, what is this?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's Balcony, Rachel is taking down the Christmas lights. Monica sees her, so she leans out of the small side window.]
Monica: The game's over! Take off your robe!
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
Monica: (Shocked) Oh my God! Chandler!
Monica: (Yells after him) I love you!
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)
Monica: (yelling after him) We will!!
Monica: (to Rachel) Look at you with all the guys!
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Monica: Wow, do you mean like kiss him-kiss him?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch writing when Chandler enters to make his brief cameo.]
Joey: Monica!
Monica: Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year!
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
Chandler: (to Monica) So, how did you enjoy the play?
Monica: Oh my god, honey, I'm so so so so so sorry.
Monica: Oh really!
Monica: No!
Monica: Now come on. (They hug like men.) Well, Im glad we worked things out.
Monica: So I got it when I was 13...
Monica: You really liked it?
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Rachel: (to Monica) Hey!
(Rachel approaches Monica)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: That's different! I was drunk and stupid!
Monica: Oh, you're so wonderful.
Monica: And I can't stop you.
Monica: Yes Rachel, why do you care so much?
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Hey, what's this?
Monica: Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains.
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Monica: (entering) Hey honey! I missed you today!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
Monica: (really embarrassed) OH!
Monica: What is the big deal?
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Monica: (a bit surprised) Yes, he is. Me.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Monica: Its all everybody at the party could talk about!