words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, grow up!
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
Monica: Not really.
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler enters with a bouquet of roses.]
Monica: (from her bedroom) Okay! Ill be right out. Im slipping into something a little less comfortable, and a little more slutty.
Chandler: (picking up a video from the table) Candy and Cookie. Candy and Cookie? Monica got me porn?! Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!! (Chandler runs over to the TV, puts the tape in, and sits down to enjoy some "porn")
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) So what do you think? (referring to her outfit)
(Chandler glances up at Monica with his mouth still wide open and his eyes still huge)
Monica: (to herself) Ive still got it!
Monica: What is it?
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Monica: Honey, whats going on?
Monica: Mm-hmm.
Monica: Chandler, we cant let this tape wreck Valentines Day!
Monica: Child-birth, its a natural thing! Its beautiful.
Monica: Oh! Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me!
Monica: Dont touch me!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Monica: How long has it been this time?
Monica: Thats better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it except all I did was think about it.
Monica: Okay, well, we have to get past this! Why dont we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed?
Monica: Okay.
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
Monica: Oh, thank God!
Monica: Come in!
Monica: Oh, my God.
(Monica and Chandler both look at each other and run over to the window to watch the action in Ross apartment)
Monica: Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see? Its here.
Monica: No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you!
Monica: Shes right of course not. Honey, get the tape.
Monica: Its still beautiful.
Monica: I know! I know, Im so sorry for you!
(Monica and Rachel both cover their eyes)
Monica: Oh, look at those little fingers and toes!
Monica: Oh Rach!
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
Monica: (pushes him and starts to cry) Oh shut up!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next morning, Monica and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Monica! (Pause) Would it?
Monica: Probably the only time I'll ever say this, but did you see the ass on her?
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Monica: What?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
MONICA: Cheers.� (She clinks his glass and pulls back.)� Okay, buh-bye.� (She closes the door.)
Monica: 5 6 7 8!
Monica: Was it really that good?
Monica: Youre a really good kisser.
Monica: Me too!
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
Monica: What? We could do it!
Monica: (to everybody) BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright?
Monica: Really?!
Monica: You serious?!
Monica: Check your numbers! Make me rich!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier.]
Monica: Rach, Phoebe hates Pottery Barn.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
MONICA: Yeah. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off.
Monica: Okay-okay, I got it. I got it.
Monica: Yeah.
Chandler: (To Monica) So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this?
Monica: Joey, you dont have too!
Monica: Tomorrow!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Joey: What-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
MONICA: It's on us, all right, so don't worry. It's our treat.
Monica: You got it from Pottery Barn?!
Monica: Is it okay for me to come in now?
Monica: No because it-it didnt seem important.
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Well I didnt want everyone to think I was stupid.
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Monica: Im gonna miss you! (They hug.)
Monica: What happened to Janine?
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
Monica: (loudly) What?!! (Quietly) What?
Joey: You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica.
Monica: (in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her R)
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Monica: We owe you?!
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
Monica: Why, do you write him a lot?
Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.
Monica: Absolutely!
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Monica: What did I tell you about the hall?!
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too.
Monica: Well, maybe youre rightShe made fun of my phone pen!
Monica: Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl?
Monica: All right, all right, at least Im prepared.
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Monica: No.
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Chandler: (To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags!
(Ross and Monica high-five)
Monica: Wait a minute, I can get ice at the restaurant
Chandler: Oh, that would be Monica. Hey, listen, I wanna borrow a coupla things, Aurora spent the night, I really wanna make her breakfast.
Monica: Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Monica: Hm-hmm!
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Monica: What?!
Monica: Me neither.
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Monica: So you didnt leave the bank?