words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
Monica: Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: What is DOOL?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Monica: And the way she slaps all the time!
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are eating lunch, when they start to hear a horrible screeching noise. It sounds like someone is skinning a cat.]
Monica: What is that?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Monica: No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Rachel: (screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
Cecilia: I really cant slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)
Monica: Nice to meet you! My God youre great!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Monica and Chandler: No!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Monica: Ok, um, I'll go with you.
Monica: But I'm...
Monica: You're welcome.
Monica: (looking out the window) Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
Monica: Hey, great skirt! Birthday present?
Monica: You had a salad.
Monica and Rachel: (Wistfully, shaking their heads) No.
Monica: The second sister dies in Archie and Jughead Double Digest?
Monica: That was gonna be my opener.
Monica: Here you go! What do you think about centerpieces?
Monica: Chandlers making his sex face.
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Monica: Okay.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Monica: Julie.
Monica: Hey, where is everybody?
Monica: Judy.
Monica: That is not true!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Monica: You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... (Rachel isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an hour.
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Monica: It's that terrible?
Monica: Whoa! Whoa!! Tackled by a girl! Bet ya dont see that everyday, do ya?
Monica: Hey, how long are you in the city?
Monica: I feel terrible, I really do.
Monica: The Luisa from home room!
Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call.
[Scene: Rachel's party, Rachel is on the balcony, Monica goes there also]
Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game?
Monica: (crying) I'd do anything for you. (They hug again.)
Monica: No, he didn't! He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?
Monica: No, no, wait. (checks Ross's itinerary) His flight doesn't leave for another forty-five more minutes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the scene is continued from where we left off before the break.]
MONICA: So how was Joan?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there ready for another poker game.]
MONICA: We're not doing anything.
MONICA: Hello, Mr. Heckles.
MONICA: That's terrible.
MONICA: Mr. Heckles.
MONICA: Stop with the broom, we're not making noise.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is on the phone as Joey enters.]
MONICA: Well, what about his family?
MONICA: What can we do for you?
Monica: So dont think of it as a bachelor party, think of it as a a two month anniversary present.
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Steve: Hello, Monica. (to Rachel) Hello, greeter girl.
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Monica: That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!
MONICA: No.
MONICA: You don't have any stuff.
Chandler: I used to undress my cousin Glenn. (Monica looks at him then sushes him.)
Monica: Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
MONICA: Hide the Lamp.
RACHEL: Monica, let it go.
Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)
(He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)
MONICA: Phoebe, tell her!
Monica: No, you were right. I don't have a plan. (There's a knock on the door.)
Joey: (on phone from Vegas) Hey Monica, it's Joey!
MONICA: You made it!
Monica: Waaay too special.
MONICA: That's fine.
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is on the phone.]
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
OPENING TITLES [Scene: Monica and Rachels apartment. The whole gang is there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another showdown is occuring, only this time its between Ross, a plate of cookies, and the breast milk. They've been eyeing each other for a while now, and Chandler and Joey are getting bored. He checks his Ross and in frustration, shoves his watch in front of Ross's eyes as if saying, "Hurry it up already!" Finally, Ross scratches his head, does that again, itches his nose, scratches his head, grabs the bottle, takes a big swig, and piles several cookies into his mouth.]
MONICA: Man, man that is sharp. It must have cost you quite a few debloons.
MONICA: I can't believe you didn't tell me.
MONICA: Well, didn't you?
MONICA: What have I not told you?
MONICA: That is wild.
Monica: Yeah? What does she think of your little science project?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the bachelor party has ended and Monica is trying to explain herself to Chandler.]
Monica: Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, Im cold! (She spills something.) And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! (the door opens)
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Monica: Youre not gonna mess it up.
[Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is in her bedroom.]
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
MONICA: Hell, I wanna see Joey.
MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job.
Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.
MONICA: Never call me from that phone.
MONICA: Rachel, that's all we do.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are there, Joey enters wearing an old looking hat.]
Monica: Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are watching Phoebe sleep.]
Monica: Why would I have the keys?
Monica: All right. The super couldnt figure out what it did. A $200 an hour electrician couldnt figure out what it did. Ive had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up.