words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating some Chinese food.]
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there talking about Chandler and Monica.]
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
Rachel: Phoebe just found out about Monica and Chandler.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler and Monica are there, of course. Like who else would it be, duh!]
Monica: You are so cute! How did you get to be so cute?
Monica: Okay, now you're even cuter!!
Monica: What?
Monica: What are you talking about?
Monica: That's not possible!
Monica: I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way.
Monica: I'm sorry, I think that you just misunderstood her.
Monica: This bicep?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
Monica: Uhh, y'know actually I was gonna do some laundry.
Monica: Hey Chandler, wanna do it with me?
Monica: Okay.
Monica: I mean I-I don't I think I have enough quarters.
Monica: Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
Monica: Well what did you send?
Monica: Bye!
Monica: Actually, I did!
Monica: Ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! She knows about us!
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is snoozing with Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal and Chandler and Monica come storming in.]
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Monica: Joey!
Monica: Unless
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is looking at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment through binoculars.]
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
Monica: Oh yeah!
(She saunters over to Chandler with a mean pair of 'Come hither' eyes and she glares at Monica.)
(As she walks away, Chandler mouths a scream to Monica. How motions and mouths, "It's okay, it's okay.")
Rachel: Oh yeah! (She gasps.) Oh my God! That is our friend! (Monica covers her face.) It's Naked Ross! (Monica turns and buries her face in Chandler's shoulder.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Phoebe ready for her date.]
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Monica: All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out!
Monica: Relax, she-she's gonna give in way before you do!
Monica: Because you're on my team! And my team always wins!
Monica: Just go get some! (Kisses him.) Go! (She runs to hide in the bathroom.)
Monica: She's bluffing!
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
Monica: Of course.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!!
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
Monica: Well actually, Ross doesn't.
MONICA: Um-hmm.
Monica: I was just waiting for the perfect guy.
Monica: No! But, Im throwing this shirt away! I think there was a little misunderstanding before.
Monica: Yo- hooo!
MONICA: I wa-
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
[Chandler and Joey are watching, Rachel turns their heads away from Monica.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
MONICA: Who?
MONICA: Oh.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
MONICA: Do you not remember the puppet guy?
MONICA: Finger cramp. Oh God, sorry. Here, let me get that mom.
MONICA: You're right.
MONICA: We're good.
MONICA: Are you sure this time?
MONICA: Yes. But all the other ones.
MONICA: Nice.
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years.
MONICA: Woah, woah, woah, let's go back to 29.
MONICA: Yeah, well they suck too.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, everyone is still eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for a barbecue for Rachel's birthday.]
Helena: Im not very fond of New York. Queens I like. (Noticing Monicas ring.) Ooh, what is this sparkle something! (Shows the audience who woos.) Honey! Huh?
MONICA: [her and Phoebe tilt their heads] Oh, that's too bad.
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
Monica: Yeah, Ive just been fiddling around in here making delicious treats for everyone.
MONICA: Really.
MONICA: Wow.
MONICA: Why?
MONICA: Weird, weird.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Rachel: See your twenty-five...and...uh, Monica, get my purse.
MONICA: [seeing TV] Hey, I went up.
Monica: (jumps over a box) Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor!
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum.
MONICA: We didn't order cake.
MONICA: The head tilt?
Ross: (picking up Chi-Chis picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Yknow Monica couldnt get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
MONICA: [answers the door] Dr. Greene. Oh my God it's Rachel's dad. What're you doing here?
[Scene: Outside Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is returning.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are busy unpacking.]
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
MONICA: Yeah, yeah, yeah, where are we on the hundred bucks?
MONICA: I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
Monica: Chandler, this actually bothers you?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica: Oh my God, what would have done if I said yes?
Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park.
Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?
CHANDLER: Hi Monica.
[Cut to later in that episode in Central Perk, a meeting with Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey where they discuss Chandler and Monica.]
MONICA: What?
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
MONICA: Well, maybe you don't need them.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Its closer to dinner. Monica has just told everyone that Tim is coming to dinner.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Ross and Chandler. Monica is making food, and having everyone try it.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Phoebe: (checking for herself) (To Monica) Mazel tov.
MONICA: So what happened?
Monica: And youve never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot!
Monica: So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
[Monica slams the door back shut]
MONICA: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
Monica: So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
MONICA: Just go.
MONICA: And his puppet too.
Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!
Monica: (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You cant go out there.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, one week later. Monica is seated, Rachel comes out of her bedroom.]
MONICA: You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?
Janice: I love the way you look every night Chandler! (Monica breaks the kiss and Chandler freezes in terror.) Thats why I made you this tape! Happy Birthday! Love Janice!
MONICA: Phoebe.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are in the kitchen.]
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
MONICA: Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Monica: Oh THATS ME! (she runs to the pizza guy)
MONICA: Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
MONICA: Thank you.
MONICA: Ok, that's enough.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
Ross: Monica, youre so lucky! Hes like the most popular guy in school!!
MONICA: Give it to me.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.
MONICA: Had it.
MONICA: Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.