words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Monica: No.
Monica: Well, you tell a lot of jokes!
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Monica: Well, shes not going to find them lying in the grass like that.
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Monica: Me neither.
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are in bed together.]
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Monica: Thats a good idea.
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: Its coming from the living room.
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Monica: (entering) Hey, you guys.
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Monica: (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
Monica: I know. Where do you wanna go eat?
Monica: Im sick of Japanese. Were not going there.
Monica: All right.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.]
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Monica: No, thank you.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
Monica: Joey, do you work here?
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Monica: Hah!
Monica: Well, then, Im okay with being high maintenance.
Monica: I am not high maintenance!
Monica and Rachel: You did!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Ross are both pouting and sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Lets have Monica decide.
Ross: Monica! (She appears, not sure why she was summoned.)
Monica: Why do I have to decide?
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Monica: Okay, Chandler, you go first.
Monica: Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?
Monica: Do you want me to pick you?!
(Chandler motions to Monica that hell give her two babies.)
Monica: Continue.
Monica: All right, Ive heard enough. Ive made my decision.
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
(Monica leaves the room)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Monica: Hi, Chandler. There you are.
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Chandler: (starts to recite a rehearsed speech) Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. (Pause.) Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and(He falters and Monica prompts him.)generosity of spirit.
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
MONICA: So you watched the movies huh?
MONICA: OK.
Monica: No. You know, sometimes just things doesn't work out.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Oh, no no no no no.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Monica is getting the door.]
MONICA AND RACHEL: No no no no.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Bye-bye.
MONICA: Just some stuff for the party.
Monica: Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh thats it! Thats it! Right there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Ooooh-oooh-ooooh (Covers both ears and continues the massage with her elbows.)
MONICA: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.
MONICA: Great.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
MONICA: You got it.
Monica: And you know what? We want a rematch.
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
RACHEL: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
MONICA: That's your call.
(Joey comes out of Monica’s apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Monica: All right people listen, Ive got exactly twenty-eight minutes before I have to baste again.
Monica: That's it, just sign right on the bra (the actor does so).
MONICA: Oh yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent.
MONICA: Hi.
MONICA: So, what's this.
MONICA: Oh, then go Vassar.
Monica: Oh, I havent had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, Im never gonna have that feeling again am I?
(Ross, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen area)
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Monica are still going on about the house.]
MONICA: Ok, then just go.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
Monica: uh huh.. I mean these things happen. Its' just a plate. Its not like somebody died.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey and Chandler are there eating breakfast.]
Rachel: (entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
Joey: (walking towards her to hold her and support her) Monica, you understand what we are saying, right?
MONICA: It's just that he doesn't have that much free time, ya know, and I don't know, what do I do?
MONICA: Where have you been?
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
Rachel: I couldn't be inner. Monica?
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
Monica: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.
[Scene: Monicas new kitchen, Allesandro is introducing her to her new employees.]
Monica: Yknow all my friends think this is weird.
Monica: Well, it's the thought. Hey, doesn't Ross's flight get in in a couple hours? At gate 27-B?
MONICA: Oh, you look so great.
MONICA: Quit flicking [flicks]
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MONICA: You don't have the guts.
MONICA: Oops.
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
MONICA: Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. His name was in the paper.
Monica: Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)
Monica: (sympathetic) Oh. (in a pirates voice) So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie?
Rachel: Oh, Monica, you think Skippy liked you? Honey, all those buys had a bet to see if he can knock you over.
MONICA: Alright.
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
Monica: Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats?
MONICA: What's tonight?
MONICA: [walks up to Rachel in front of the TV] Tonight?
MONICA: Uh, hello.
Monica: Another good point.
DR. BURKE: Monica? My God you used to be so. . . I mean you, you, you, you must have lost like. . . You look great.
MONICA: Sorry we're late.
MONICA: I'm sorry.
Monica: Because Purvry Perverson over here cant stop staring at her.
MONICA: I am not.
RACHEL: Monica.
RACHEL: Monica.
RACHEL: Monica.
JOEY: Some girl ate Monica.
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey, where is this guy, it's been over an hour!
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
MONICA: Really.
MONICA: You too.
MONICA: What?
Monica: (gets a pack out of his jacket)
MONICA: Thanks again.
MONICA: OK, um. Goodbye.
MONICA: No one.
MONICA: Nothing.
MONICA: Stop sending food to our apartment.
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Monica: She's m-i-i-ne!
Monica: I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?
MONICA: When?
Monica: Oh, Ive got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the dresser underneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
MONICA: You're an opthamologist.
Monica: Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you're home, I thought tonight we could finally organize these photos!
MONICA: Wow, is that Michelle?
MONICA: Yeah.
Monica: Hey, what are you doing? You gotta save room, youve got almost an entire turkey to eat.
MONICA: So maybe we should just. . .
MONICA: Wow, this really sucks.