words in movies
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
[They run out and knock on Monica and Rachel's door]
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
MONICA: I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like.
RACHEL AND MONICA: Yeah.
MONICA: Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.
MONICA: Excellent!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
MONICA: Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.
MONICA: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't. [throws water in his face]
MONICA: Ross, there he is.
ROSS: Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel. [Marcel doesn't react so Ross starts singing] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [no reaction from Marcel, Monica and Joey urge him on] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [Marcel looks over and everyone joins in] a-weema-way, a-weema-way..... [Marcel runs over and hops up on Ross's shoulder]
[cut to Monica and Rachel walking through the set]
MONICA: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
MONICA: The muscles from Brussels, wham bam Van Damme, did you see Time Cop?
MONICA: Rachel, he like, totally changed time.
MONICA: Oh, yeah.
MONICA: He could hear me.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
[back to Rachel and Monica]
MONICA: So what'd he say?
MONICA: Well, thanks anyway.
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
MONICA: What did you say?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
MONICA: Ya know, you had no right to go out with him.
MONICA: You sold me out.
MONICA: Yes you did. Absolutely.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
MONICA: Quit flicking [flicks]
MONICA: You flicked me first.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Ow. Ow. Ow.
MONICA: Uh-huh.
MONICA: OK.
MONICA: Yes.
MONICA: Fine,
[Scene: Monica and Van Damme are walking down the street.]
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
[Scene: Back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are now fighting about what Rachel told Van Damme.]
MONICA: Say you're sorry.
MONICA: Say it.
[Monica grabs Rachel by the sweater. Rachel squirms out of it]
MONICA: Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
MONICA: Say you're sorry.
MONICA: What're you gonna do?
MONICA: You don't have the guts.
[Monica pulls a thread on Rachel's sweater and Rachel dumps the tomato sauce in Monica's purse]
[Monica and Rachel start yelling at the same time]
MONICA: I'll help you fix your sweater.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves [pulls Rachel's gloves out of her purse]
[Scene: The movie set. Monica and Rachel are saying goodbye to Jean-Claude]
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
MONICA: OK.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Oh, no no no no no.
MONICA AND RACHEL: No no no no.
MONICA: But no. Maybe if I were baking.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Bye-bye.
Monica: Old?
Monica: Thats much better.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: (gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
Monica: Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Monica: That other play?
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Monica: I had to go with the odds Rach.
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Monica: Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse, Phoebe and Monica are playing cards as the phone rings.]
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Where's Monica?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Monica: Honey, we gotta go!
Monica: Really?
Monica: I just, I cant believe that we made it!
Monica: Im sorry but nothing.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Monica: What is that?
(Monica and her parents walk up.)
Helena: (To Monica) And who is your friend?
Monica: Hi Mr. Bing.
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
[Cut to Monica.]
Monica: I cant find garbage bags!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
Monica: Who wants it? Anybody?
Monica: All right uh, the important thing is to take your time, you want to hit em all, and you mix em up. You gotta keep them on their toes.
Monica: Nobody wants to do it? All right, Ill do it myself.
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (Monica goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: (reading the note) Tell Monica Im sorry.
Ross: Is uh, is Monica here?
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the next morning, Rachel and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Oh Soap Opera Digest award!
[Scene, Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is there. Everything is out of its place and Chandler's cleaning.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Monica: I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Monica: About what?
Monica: (jumping up) Rachel! You okay?
Monica: Any woman would be lucky to have ya.
Joey: (interrupting) Was his name Angus? (Monica and Chandler laugh.)
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still trying to stall Monica.]
Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice.
Monica: (entering) Whats going on?
Monica: I cant go to lunch!!
(Monica goes into the bathroom and Rachel thinks quickly.)
Monica: (starting to cry) Im so happy for me.
Phoebe: Oh my God Monica!
Monica: I wanna wear this everyday.
(Monica enters wearing her wedding dress.)
(Monica enters.)
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Monica: Well, youre-youre sweating.
Monica: Chandler come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle.
Ross: Oh my God! Monica!
Monica: Are you okay?
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Monica: Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after youre done.
Monica: I know! Hey, hows Chandler doin?
Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Chandler: Monicas pregnant.
Chandler: I know about Monica.
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
Monica: Wow! I cant believe I actually rolled an eight.
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Monica: Not now.
Monica: Shes right there.
Monica: (To Chandler) Who is this?
Monica: (To Rachel) He took off?
Monica: I do.
Monica: (looks at Chandler) In in two weeks.
Monica: What baby?
Monica: We have a baby?
Monica: I didnt take a pregnancy test.
[Cut to Central Perk, first season Monica is talking.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma is there in her playpen, while Chandler is behind the couch.]
Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are talking.]
Monica: (disgusted) Limited seating! Oh, that is such a lame excuse! Thats not the reason shes not inviting me!
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
Monica: What are you doing?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the party. Everyone has left, except for the gang.]
Monica: Oh geez! Okay! Thanks!
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Gary, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there.]
MONICA: GET OUT YOU DUFUS!!
Monica: I knew you were likely to take a wife!
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (looks at Joey.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, same scene.]
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
(Monica screams and they all stare at her.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!