words in movies
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Monica: You don't know military time?
Monica: Just subtract twelve.
Monica: (screaming) Six o'clock!
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Monica: Ooh... she backed out.
Monica: I made her. (Phoebe looks shocked) Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.
Rachel: Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies and weddings don't mix.
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Monica: Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises!
Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches)
Monica: Ok, it's 2100 hours. (to Phoebe) Time for your toast. (Mike appears)
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Monica (rolling her eyes): oh God.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
(Monica enters the room)
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
Monica: Hi.
Monica: She's in her room, why?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is listening amused.]
Monica: I know.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel walks in.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is on the phone and Monica is nonchalantly "minding her own business".]
Monica: Bye.
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
Monica: What?
Monica: (Sounds moved) Really?
Monica: You really want me to come back?
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Monica: Ooh! But the band and the photographer are coming all the way in from New Jersey!
Monica: (Putting down her phone) Well, the club lost it's power.
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Monica: (thinking) AFFIRMATIVE!
Monica: (walking around with her headset still on) OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. (He does so and the lights above the chairs light up. Monica looks satisfied) Okay, who left the ice sculpture (picks up a piece of ice from the ground) ON THE STEAM GRATE? (nobody answers)
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Monica: Really?
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
Monica: Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony and Chandler's giving you away.
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug)
Rachel and Monica: I love you.
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Chandler: Oh yeah! (Monica walks outside)
Monica: Okay Marjorie, hit it.
(we cut to Monica)
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me.
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
MONICA: You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this.
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
Monica: No, umm, he met some girl at the coffee house.
Monica: And lucky means, more cleavage?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: (interrupting) No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)
Monica: Hey!
Monica: She said that?!
Monica: Umm
Monica: Why?!
MONICA: Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.
Monica: So, is Joey gonna stop snoring?
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?
Monica: Sometimes we were.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: We were shopping, and we had lunch.
Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
Monica: Youll see.
Monica: Oh my God! Hes gonna rat me out!
Monica: I got you the foot massager.
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Monica: Ohh. And I dont even have a date.
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
MONICA: Give it to me.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: (to Chandler) Shh!! (On phone) Wait, what?
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is entering, Monica and Rachel are talking on the couch.]
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Monica: Phoebe, they didnt make you pay for those knives, did they?
Monica: Well, thanks, we like him.
Monica: I was laughing. (Patting him on the knee.)
Monica: But more importantly to full well-rounded lives.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
(Chandlers trying to console Monica.)
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Monica: Then why would he say it?
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Monica: Yep, yep...You?
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Phoebe: Yuh-huh! I was the last one to know when Chandler got bitten by the peacock at the zoo. I was the last one to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in. (Monica gestures at Phoebe to shut up; Joey looks surprised but pleased) Looks like I was second to last.
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
Joey: Have you seen Monica?
Monica: Ok, thank you.(the man leaves) Uh, well this is it. Are you OK?
Monica: Chicken Kiev?
[ Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Chandler, Monica and Emma are sitting on the floor, and Emma's stuffed animals are lined up in front of them.]
Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
Ross: So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. (he tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand)
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
Monica: What were we thinking?
Monica: Stupid.
Monica: Oh yeah. Definitely.
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Petes computer company?
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Ill meet you there in two minutes.
Monica: Only here.
Monica: See, Ive been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people Im only planning on doing this once. So, uh yknow, maybe this is selfish and Im sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that.
Monica: Oh, I-I dont know.
Rachel: Monica, what should I do?
Monica: Why?!
Monica: Ill call you back. (starts kissing him)
Monica: All right. (Goes to take off the dress.)
Monica: Thats true.
Monica: (entering) Hey, guys. Im here to pick out my Christmas tree.
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Monica: Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!
Monica: Great
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
Monica: No time for that!
Monica: You really think this is okay?
Monica: Okay!
Monica: Or 45.
Monica: Yeah, I think you should keep looking!
Monica: You didnt find her?
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Chandler: (To Monica) I love you. And I know about the baby.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Ha ha, a joke thats funny in all countries.
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
Fat Monica: Okay!
Monica: 'I drink tea.'
Monica: Im changing out of this.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.