words in movies
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Monica: You don't know military time?
Monica: Just subtract twelve.
Monica: (screaming) Six o'clock!
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Monica: Ooh... she backed out.
Monica: I made her. (Phoebe looks shocked) Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.
Rachel: Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies and weddings don't mix.
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Monica: Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises!
Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches)
Monica: Ok, it's 2100 hours. (to Phoebe) Time for your toast. (Mike appears)
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Monica (rolling her eyes): oh God.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
(Monica enters the room)
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
Monica: Hi.
Monica: She's in her room, why?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is listening amused.]
Monica: I know.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel walks in.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is on the phone and Monica is nonchalantly "minding her own business".]
Monica: Bye.
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
Monica: What?
Monica: (Sounds moved) Really?
Monica: You really want me to come back?
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Monica: Ooh! But the band and the photographer are coming all the way in from New Jersey!
Monica: (Putting down her phone) Well, the club lost it's power.
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Monica: (thinking) AFFIRMATIVE!
Monica: (walking around with her headset still on) OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. (He does so and the lights above the chairs light up. Monica looks satisfied) Okay, who left the ice sculpture (picks up a piece of ice from the ground) ON THE STEAM GRATE? (nobody answers)
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Monica: Really?
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
Monica: Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony and Chandler's giving you away.
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug)
Rachel and Monica: I love you.
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Chandler: Oh yeah! (Monica walks outside)
Monica: Okay Marjorie, hit it.
(we cut to Monica)
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me.
MONICA: So you watched the movies huh?
MONICA: OK.
Monica: No. You know, sometimes just things doesn't work out.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Oh, no no no no no.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Monica is getting the door.]
MONICA AND RACHEL: No no no no.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Bye-bye.
MONICA: Just some stuff for the party.
Monica: Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh thats it! Thats it! Right there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Ooooh-oooh-ooooh (Covers both ears and continues the massage with her elbows.)
MONICA: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.
MONICA: Great.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
MONICA: You got it.
Monica: And you know what? We want a rematch.
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
RACHEL: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
MONICA: That's your call.
(Joey comes out of Monica’s apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Monica: All right people listen, Ive got exactly twenty-eight minutes before I have to baste again.
Monica: That's it, just sign right on the bra (the actor does so).
MONICA: Oh yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent.
MONICA: Hi.
MONICA: So, what's this.
MONICA: Oh, then go Vassar.
Monica: Oh, I havent had that feeling since I first started going out with Chandler. Wow, Im never gonna have that feeling again am I?
(Ross, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen area)
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Ross and Monica are still going on about the house.]
MONICA: Ok, then just go.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
Monica: uh huh.. I mean these things happen. Its' just a plate. Its not like somebody died.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey and Chandler are there eating breakfast.]
Rachel: (entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
Joey: (walking towards her to hold her and support her) Monica, you understand what we are saying, right?
MONICA: It's just that he doesn't have that much free time, ya know, and I don't know, what do I do?
MONICA: Where have you been?
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
Rachel: I couldn't be inner. Monica?
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
Monica: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.
[Scene: Monicas new kitchen, Allesandro is introducing her to her new employees.]
Monica: Yknow all my friends think this is weird.
Monica: Well, it's the thought. Hey, doesn't Ross's flight get in in a couple hours? At gate 27-B?
MONICA: Oh, you look so great.
MONICA: Quit flicking [flicks]
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MONICA: You don't have the guts.
MONICA: Oops.
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
MONICA: Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. His name was in the paper.
Monica: Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)
Monica: (sympathetic) Oh. (in a pirates voice) So you made her walk the plank? Aye, matie?
Rachel: Oh, Monica, you think Skippy liked you? Honey, all those buys had a bet to see if he can knock you over.
MONICA: Alright.
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
Monica: Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats?
MONICA: What's tonight?
MONICA: [walks up to Rachel in front of the TV] Tonight?
MONICA: Uh, hello.
Monica: Another good point.
DR. BURKE: Monica? My God you used to be so. . . I mean you, you, you, you must have lost like. . . You look great.
MONICA: Sorry we're late.
MONICA: I'm sorry.
Monica: Because Purvry Perverson over here cant stop staring at her.
MONICA: I am not.
RACHEL: Monica.
RACHEL: Monica.
RACHEL: Monica.
JOEY: Some girl ate Monica.
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey, where is this guy, it's been over an hour!
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
MONICA: Really.
MONICA: You too.
MONICA: What?
Monica: (gets a pack out of his jacket)
MONICA: Thanks again.
MONICA: OK, um. Goodbye.
MONICA: No one.
MONICA: Nothing.
MONICA: Stop sending food to our apartment.
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Monica: She's m-i-i-ne!
Monica: I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me?
MONICA: When?
Monica: Oh, Ive got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the dresser underneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
MONICA: You're an opthamologist.
Monica: Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you're home, I thought tonight we could finally organize these photos!
MONICA: Wow, is that Michelle?
MONICA: Yeah.
Monica: Hey, what are you doing? You gotta save room, youve got almost an entire turkey to eat.
MONICA: So maybe we should just. . .
MONICA: Wow, this really sucks.