words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Chandler: (deadpan, standing next to Monica) We're very happy for you.
Monica: Oh no, wait! Joey!
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy New Year!
Monica: Happy New Year.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the party. Everyone has left, except for the gang.]
Monica: She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
Monica: Hey Rach, maybe your resolution should be to umm, gossip less.
Monica: Well if Ted Kopel talked about his coworkers botched boob jobs, I would.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Monica: Hi Ben!
Ben: Auntie Monica!! (He runs to hug her.)
Monica: I like 'em.
Monica: I like them a lot.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
(Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben, with the flash.)
Monica: It's my New Year's resolution!
Monica: No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures.
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is drilling Joey on the chords as Monica looks on.]
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Monica: Thank you. (Leaves.)
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his horrible trek back home without pants on. The whole gang is there.]
Monica: We heard about your pants, I'm so sorry.
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
Monica: See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something.
Monica: Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
MONICA: Well, uh, he's a doctor.
Monica: Mr. Bigot. He tells the most racist jokes.
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Monica: (shocked) What?
Monica: Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is.
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Monica: (singing) Well be waiting for you
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler Oh my God!)
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Monica: What?! I-I-I don't, I don't do that!
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
Monica: Well, I think I shouldnt look directly at them.
Monica: Really?
Monica: Yeah! And if, and if we have a baby one-day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you dont cry, so what! And-and-and, and if we take him to college and come home and see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, it wont matter to me.
Monica: Okay.
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
Rachel: (understands that Monica and Ethan wanna be alone) Hey, did you guys check out those new hand-dryers in the bathroom?
[Monica exits to the bathroom.]
[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
[Jack and Judy exit to Monicas room.]
Monica: No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22.
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Monica: That could be a four or a five. It's your call.
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Monica: Let's see, today's Monday... Never.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Monica: Im really gonna miss you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the bathroom.]
MONICA: Ok. Oh boy. You are doin' so good. You wanna squeeze my hand? All right, Ross, don't squeeze it so hard. Honey, really, don't squeeze it so hard! Oh, Ross! Let go of my hand!
Monica: Oh, here.
[Scene: The Storage Room in the basement of Monica and Rachel's building, Monica and Rachel are looking for something.]
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt!
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
MONICA: Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance... [volleyball hits her in the head from behind]
Monica: We are there!
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Monica: Oh my God!
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Monica: This is crazy! I mean, it's such a stupid argument. I don't even wanna see Richard again.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
Monica: (pushes him and starts to cry) Oh shut up!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next morning, Monica and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
Ross: Monica! (Pause) Would it?
Monica: Probably the only time I'll ever say this, but did you see the ass on her?
Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
Monica: What?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
MONICA: Cheers.� (She clinks his glass and pulls back.)� Okay, buh-bye.� (She closes the door.)
Monica: 5 6 7 8!
Monica: Was it really that good?
Monica: Youre a really good kisser.
Monica: Me too!
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is looking for a new name in Phoebes book of names.]
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
Monica: What? We could do it!
Monica: (to everybody) BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright?
Monica: Really?!
Monica: You serious?!
Monica: Check your numbers! Make me rich!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier.]
Monica: Rach, Phoebe hates Pottery Barn.
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Phoebe is playing a song. Chandler, Monica, and Ross are there as well.]
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
MONICA: Yeah. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off.
Monica: Okay-okay, I got it. I got it.
Monica: Yeah.
Chandler: (To Monica) So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this?
Monica: Joey, you dont have too!
Monica: Tomorrow!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Monica: Yeah, well kinda cute, like really kinda cute, or kinda cute like your friend Spackel Back Larry?
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Joey: What-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
MONICA: It's on us, all right, so don't worry. It's our treat.
Monica: You got it from Pottery Barn?!
Monica: Is it okay for me to come in now?
Monica: No because it-it didnt seem important.
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)