words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is on the phone, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the kitchen.]
Monica: Betrothed (Corrects him)
Rachel and Monica: Hi!
Monica: (Offering Ross the skull) Licorice?
Monica: Are you gonna dress up as Santa?
Rachel: (to Monica) Did you know he was in there?
Monica: No.
Monica: About a half an hour.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting a cup of coffee and sits down next to Monica.]
Monica: No.
Monica: Bing's weird.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Ahh, Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you!
Chandler: No! No, she didn't say that. I-I-I think you should talk to Monica now.
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.
Monica: Well, no. But, um, I bet she probably does.
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
Monica: (pulling Chandler away from the Maitre d') You need to give him money.
Monica: No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin you down. Everybody wants to be paid off.
Monica: You've got to be smooth about it.
Chandler: Okay. (Walks back to Monica)
Monica: How did it go?
[Scene: Michelle's, Chandler and Monica are discussing how to bribe the Maitre d'.]
Monica: It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money!
Monica: I don't know.
Monica: We'd be eating our soup right now.
Monica: (sees two people exit) Okay, those people just left, come on! Quick! Give him the money and get their table!
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is serving Chandler and Monica coffee.]
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Monica: It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear, "Oh my eye! Oh god, my eye!" I mean, it is so annoying.
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Phoebe: Great, all right, okay, and Monica ask me to make the drumming stop.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Monica: What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo?
Ross: (to Monica) Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas.
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
[Monica picks up the bag, while Ross closes the door and hits Monica with his tail. They walk into the living room, and Monica empties the bag.]
Monica: Because Armadillos also wandered in the desert?
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Monica: Come on Ben.
[Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.]
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo, and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence, I never thought I'd say.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Monica: Yes, is that okay?
Monica: No.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Santa (Chandler), Superman (Joey), Ben, and Monica are listening to the Holiday Armadillo (Ross) finish telling the story of Hanukkah.]
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Monica: Honey you-you got to beat your scores!
Monica: Not just the phone pen. I never get my messages.
Monica: Yeah? The work problem?
Monica: Honey, both yours.
Monica: That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. (Chandler approaches)
Chandler and Monica: What?!
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
Monica: You said your boss wants to buy your baby?!
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
Monica: Subtle guys!
Monica: Thats not your regular dry cleaners.
Monica: What?!
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Monica: Yeah, Id really like to.
Monica: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Monica: Really you can do that?
Monica: The good stuff, huh?
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Monica: What?!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Thats my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Monica: And Ive got the car keys.
Monica: Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break youre doing frat guys.
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Monica: I feel terrible.
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
(As she walks away, Chandler mouths a scream to Monica. How motions and mouths, "It's okay, it's okay.")
Monica: All right. Now do it soon, he just asked me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money.
Monica: (pause) I have no idea.
(Cut to Monica and Chandler)
Monica: Yeah. In fact, I like her so much you tell her I want my cookies early this year! Yknow, a box of Thin Mints and some Tag-a-Longs.
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
(Cut to Monica, at the microphone)
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Monica: Oh, come on.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are there.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
Monica: (To Chandler) You think were being obvious?
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Monica: Rach? (Points to Jill.)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica are talking about the baby, and Monica is rubbing Erica's tummy.]
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Monica: Hi, how are you doing Kelly?
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Chandler: Well, somebody should. (Monica glares at him.)
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monicas nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Monica: I cant walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Monica: Joey! Youre doing great!
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Monica: (interrupting) I love it! Its huge!! Lets open it! Open it!! (Monica rips open the paper.)
Monica: Bye. (They resume their previous positions.)
Monica: (stopping him) No! Joey, we swore wed never tell!
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Chandler: Oh my God! (He and Monica walk away.)
Monica: Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket.
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Monica: Uh Tim? This is Phoebe. Phoebe this is Tim, my new sous chef.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Monica: You slept with her didnt you?
Monica: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Monica: Oh my God, your mother!
Monica: Okay, yknow what? Dont worry, okay? Well take care of it. Well call her. Just go home and get ready.
Monica: (interrupting her) Oh give it a rest!
Mrs. Green: Oh, hello Monica.
Monica: Yeah, Im sorry. Im-Im so sorry.
Monica: Thank you. (Hangs up.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Monica: Hi!
Monica: Shes still mad.
Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!
Monica: I dont believe in soul mates either.
Monica: (Robin is speaking loudly again) I...
Monica: We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best.
Monica: What?
Monica: Okay, where is the Kat Stevens CD?
MONICA: All right. We're gonna go. It's not for another six hours. We're gonna go then.
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Monica: Child-birth, its a natural thing! Its beautiful.
Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
Monica and Chandler's apartment