words in movies
ROSS: Oh, it's fine.� Actually, I, I invited Mike over.
RACHEL: Phoebe's Mike?
(Phoebe and Mike enter.)
RACHEL: Okay.� You too.� And I hope you score.� (to Mike) Bye.
MIKE: Bye.
MIKE: (Holds up a six pack of Foster's Lager) I got beer.
MIKE: Eh, why don't we start with the beer?
MIKE: Yeah.
MIKE: Ah?� (pause)� Do you have one here?
MIKE: Okay.� (pause)
MIKE: Yeah.� (pause)� Yeah, I'm sorry.� I don't . . . I don't really like to talk about it.
MIKE:� So, you're a paleontologist, right?
MIKE: My cousin's a paleontologist.
ROSS: Ah?� (Mike nods.� Another pause.)� Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle.� Ross stares off to the side.)
MIKE: (looking at his watch) Eleven minutes.� (long pause)� And now twelve.� So, do you like the beer?
MIKE: huh.� (pause)� What's the difference between beer and lager?
MIKE: (nods) Things are about to get wild.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross and Mike are sitting on the sofa.� Ross is fidgeting with the cuff of his sweater while Mike blows his cheeks out.� Ross blows a piece of fuzz from his finger.)
MIKE: (releases a whoosh of air) Ya know, I'm going to take off.
MIKE: Well, yeah.
MIKE: Ah, you mean lager.
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
MIKE: (In the hall, relieved) Oh.
MIKE: Hello?
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
MIKE: Uh, no.� I just left.
MIKE: Wha . . .?� Go back?� To the "land where time stands still"?
MIKE: I can't do that!
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
MIKE: All right.� I'll do it.� (Phoebe gives the thumbs-up sign to Rachel.)� But really, how much dirtier can it get?
PHOEBE: (knowingly chuckles) Oh, Mike.� Bye.
(Mike knocks on Ross's door.� Ross opens it.)
MIKE: Hey buddy.
MIKE: Um, can I come back in?
MIKE: (Entering the apartment) I, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is reading from a book.]
MIKE: So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing.� Fascinating isn't it.
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
ROSS: (takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.
MIKE: I'm so glad you're back.� (He hugs Phoebe.)
ROSS: Oh, you know . . . we just drank some beer and Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.
MIKE: It's true.� I did.
PHOEBE: I know.� That was fun.� (She and Mike exit.)
MIKE: No.� Just his mom.
MIKE: Yeah.
MIKE: (nods) uh-huh.
[Tag Scene: Central Perk.� Phoebe and Mike are on the sofa.� Ross enters.]
MIKE: Hey.
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
MIKE: (finally) Stout.� That's a kind of beer.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Mike: Oh wow! Im free for her!
Mike: Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you?
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Mike: (sighs) No...
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Mike: Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian.
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.)
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
Mike: Well I've got a book around...
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Mike: No, my parents are rich.
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Helena: Im sorry? (Holds out the mike.)
Mike: Wow! You look like... like my mom.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
Mike: Well, come on...
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Mike: Hey... Wh... What are you doing?
Mike: No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad?
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
Mike: Uhm... Did you just hit my dad?
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Mike: Awesome!
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Mike: A little better.
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Mike: I'm not interested.
Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...
Mike: You do?
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Mike: No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Joey: MIKE!!!
Joey: Mike.
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Mike: I am Mike.
Mike: Yeah?
Mike: No, I didn't.
Mike: What?!
Mike: There isn't a piano here.
Mike: Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could...
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Mike: Hey, so are you sure your ready to go.
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Mike: It was nice meeting you!
Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
Mike: Really?
Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play?
Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what's wrong?
(Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway)
[Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.]
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Mike: that's why she was weird.
[Scene: Phoebe is sitting with Mike, explaining about Vicrum.]
Ross: (He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?
Mike: Oh.
Mike: but you did say it
Mike: Vicrum?
Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me.
Mike: what's wrong?
Mike: But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross
Ross: So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?
Mike: Definitely
Mike: uh huh
Phoebe: (returns) Okay, that was Mike.
Mike: its Mike Hanagen
Mike: Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out?
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Mike: This is nice.
Mike: Is this cool, huh?
Mike: Is it?
Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?
Mike: You need both hands for that?
Mike: It's to my apartment.
Mike: Don't point your finger at me.
Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?