words in movies
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Mike: There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000.
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Mike: Oh wow! Im free for her!
Mike: Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you?
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
MIKE: (Entering the apartment) I, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Mike: (sighs) No...
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Mike: Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian.
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
MIKE: I'm so glad you're back.� (He hugs Phoebe.)
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.
Mike: Well I've got a book around...
Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.)
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Helena: Im sorry? (Holds out the mike.)
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Mike: Wow! You look like... like my mom.
Mike: No, my parents are rich.
Mike: Hey... Wh... What are you doing?
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
Mike: Well, come on...
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Mike: No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad?
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Mike: Uhm... Did you just hit my dad?
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Mike: Awesome!
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Mike: A little better.
Mike: You do?
Mike: I'm not interested.
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Mike: No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Joey: Mike.
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Joey: MIKE!!!
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Mike: Yeah?
Mike: No, I didn't.
Mike: What?!
Mike: I am Mike.
Mike: It was nice meeting you!
Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
Mike: There isn't a piano here.
Mike: Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could...
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Mike: Really?
Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play?
Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what's wrong?
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Mike: Hey, so are you sure your ready to go.
Ross: (He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?
Mike: Oh.
[Scene: Phoebe is sitting with Mike, explaining about Vicrum.]
Mike: but you did say it
Mike: Vicrum?
(Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway)
[Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.]
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Mike: that's why she was weird.
Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me.
Mike: what's wrong?
Mike: its Mike Hanagen
Mike: But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross
Ross: So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Mike: Definitely
Mike: uh huh
Mike: Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out?
Mike: You need both hands for that?
Phoebe: (returns) Okay, that was Mike.
Mike: This is nice.
Mike: Is this cool, huh?
Mike: Is it?
Mike: It's to my apartment.
Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?