words in movies
Written by: Jeffrey Astrof and Mike Sikowitz. .
Mike: Oh wow! Im free for her!
Mike: Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you?
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
MIKE: (Entering the apartment) I, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Mike: (sighs) No...
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Mike: Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian.
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
MIKE: I'm so glad you're back.� (He hugs Phoebe.)
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
Mike: Well I've got a book around...
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.)
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Mike: Wow! You look like... like my mom.
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Helena: Im sorry? (Holds out the mike.)
Mike: No, my parents are rich.
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
Mike: Hey... Wh... What are you doing?
Mike: Well, come on...
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Mike: No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad?
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Mike: Uhm... Did you just hit my dad?
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Mike: Awesome!
Mike: A little better.
Mike: I'm not interested.
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Mike: You do?
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Mike: No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Joey: MIKE!!!
Joey: Mike.
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Mike: I am Mike.
Mike: Yeah?
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Mike: No, I didn't.
Mike: What?!
Mike: There isn't a piano here.
Mike: Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could...
Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play?
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Mike: It was nice meeting you!
Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
Mike: Really?
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Ross: (He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?
Mike: Hey, so are you sure your ready to go.
Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what's wrong?
[Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.]
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Mike: that's why she was weird.
Mike: Oh.
Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me.
(Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway)
Mike: but you did say it
Mike: Vicrum?
[Scene: Phoebe is sitting with Mike, explaining about Vicrum.]
Mike: what's wrong?
Mike: But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross
Mike: Definitely
Mike: uh huh
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Mike: This is nice.
Mike: its Mike Hanagen
Phoebe: (returns) Okay, that was Mike.
Mike: You need both hands for that?
Ross: So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?
Mike: Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out?
Phoebe: I'm sooo sorry!! I just... I keep thinking about Mike! I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together. Why-Why do I miss Mike? That's-that's gonna go away, right?
Mike: Is it?
Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?
Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
Mike: Don't point your finger at me.