words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.]
Mike: (raising his glass) Thank you guys for having us over.
Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Mike: You're a strange kind of grown-up.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Mike: Woo-wo-hey-hey-hey... Can we not talk about that right now?
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Mike: Hey (He kisses Phoebe)
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Mike: So, what's new?
Mike: That's great! You changed you name?
Mike: (afraid) You're kidding right?
Mike: You really did that?
Mike: Yeah, but you can't do that.
Mike: (looks at her astonished) Alright, then I'm gonna change my name.
Mike: Crap Bag.
Phoebe:(not amused) Mike Crap Bag?
Mike: No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.
Mike: Yeah, I'm serious. (sarcastic) It's fun, it's different and no-one else has a name like that!
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.]
Mike: After you, miss Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: Oh hi Rita! Good! (to Mike) Oh, Rita's a massage client.
Mike: Oh! Why don't you introduce me?
Mike: Why don't you tell her my name?
Mike: If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.
Phoebe: Yeah... Ogh... Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again?
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Mike: Really?
Mike: Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
Mike: It's a Speedo.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Mike: Hey, when did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats?
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Mike: (looks strangely shocked) Excuse me... (he leaves, then Phoebe realizes what she did).
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated.....
Mike: oh it's just you have that look (shuts the front door)
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Mike: I'll make it a hundred!
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
Mike: Oh wow! Im free for her!
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
Mike: Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you?
MIKE: (Entering the apartment) I, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Mike: (sighs) No...
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Mike: Mom, I thought I told you... Phoebe's a vegetarian.
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
MIKE: I'm so glad you're back.� (He hugs Phoebe.)
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.
Ross: Mike "Gandolf" Ganderson, only like the funest guy in the world.
Mike: Well I've got a book around...
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Mike: Wow! You look like... like my mom.
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.)
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Helena: Im sorry? (Holds out the mike.)
Mike: No, my parents are rich.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
Mike: Hey... Wh... What are you doing?
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Mike: Well, come on...
Mike: No, no, no, you're doing fine, really... Why don't you go talk to my dad?
(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
Mike: Uhm... Did you just hit my dad?
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Mike: A little better.
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Mike: Awesome!
Mike: I'm not interested.
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Mike: You do?
Phoebe: So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Mike: And there is Kevin.
Rachel: Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Joey: MIKE!!!
Mike: Yeah?
Joey: Mike.
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Mike: I am Mike.
Mike: Well, I'm a lawyer.
Mike: No, I didn't.
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Mike: Really?
Mike: What?!
Mike: There isn't a piano here.
Mike: Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could...
Mike: It was nice meeting you!
Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
Mike: but you did say it
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what's wrong?
[Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.]
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
Mike: Sure (looks confused) who are you?
Mike: that's why she was weird.
Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play?
Mike: Hey, so are you sure your ready to go.
Ross: (He knocks at the door, Mike opens it) Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?
Mike: Oh.
Mike: Vicrum?
(Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway)
[Scene: Phoebe is sitting with Mike, explaining about Vicrum.]
Mike: its Mike Hanagen
Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me.