words in movies
Mike: Thanks for coming you guys.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Mike: Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch?
Mike: Yeah.
Mike: Hey guys, how is it going?
Mike: Yeah look, about tomorrow, I... I've got a question for ya. I just found out that one of my groomsmen had had an emergency and can't make it.
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
Mike: You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one.
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh?
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. (he leaves)
[Scene: Wedding rehearsal dinner. Joey and Mike are talking.]
Mike: Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that.
Mike: I intend to marry her.
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
Mike: No more so than acting.
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad?
Joey: Strike three! You only get one more, Mike!
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Monica: Ok, it's 2100 hours. (to Phoebe) Time for your toast. (Mike appears)
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
(Mike enters the room).
Mike: Hey.
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
Mike: (thinks a moment) Orchids?
Joey: (to Mike) Hello Michael.
Mike: Joseph.
Mike: (looking around the room) This is... great...
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Mike: (not amused) Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
(Mike and Joey come out of Joey's room)
Mike: Yes. Yeah and thanks for all the wedding night advice. (walks away) That didn't make me uncomfortable at all! Alright, so I'll see everybody tonight?
(Mike opens the door and there is a gigantic ice sculpture standing in the doorway)
Mike: Uhm, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in the hall?
(Mike walks in.)
Mike: Hey, I forgot my scarf.
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Mike: I guess.
Chandler: I'm not scared. (moves towards Mike and Chappy) I'll just take little Chappy and... (he backs out) HE CAN SENSE MY FEAR. MY THROAT IS EXPOSED.
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Mike: Oh, no!
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Mike: My God! Aren't you freezing?
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Mike: I love you too.
Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
Mike: I do.
(Phoebe and Mike kiss)
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song")
MIKE: (nods) Things are about to get wild.
Phoebe: Hey Mike, what's the capital of Peru?
Mike: What, is he your pet rat?
Mike: Thank you.
David: Yes, but uhm... You should know... she really likes you. I-In fact I-I-I don't think you realise j-just how lucky you are fella. (he points at Mike)
MIKE: (finally) Stout.� That's a kind of beer.
Mike: Setting rat traps.
Mike: No, no, to test his neck strength.
Mike: Hey P
[Scene: Phoebe's place, Phoebe and Mike are there]
Mike: Ok, ok, I'll throw away the traps.
Mike: Better think of a new name for him.
Mike: Maybe it wasn't Bob, maybe it was a mouse.
Mike: Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals.
Mike: My name in Mike, and I do play piano.
[Scene: Phoebe's place, Phoebe and Mike enter]
Mike: No, I think you're sweet.
Mike: It's gonna be ok.
(Mike kisses Phoebe)
Mike: Like an X-Ray. Bad day not to wear a bra.
Mike: Sure.
Mike: Also a good gift? Underwear.
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Mike: Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because...
Mike: Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
Mike: Yeah!
Mike: So we're doing it?
Mike: I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Mike: Phoebe and I are moving in together.
Mike: Yes dear.
Mike: You ready to go?
Mike: What are you talking about?
Ross: But come on! I mean living together will be great! I mean you guys have so much fun and you love Mike.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe and Mike are packing stuff.]
Mike: Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it!
Phoebe: Mike doesn't ever wanna get married.
Phoebe: I do love Mike.
Mike: Very cool.
Mike: You wanna get married?
Mike: No but... You don't want to get married either right?
Mike: No.
Mike: But if you wanna get married why didn't you say something before?
Mike: I want to live with you too! Let's do that!
Mike: But I don't want this to end.
Mike: Ok... so...(They hug) Goodbye.
Phoebe: Breaking up sucks! Oh, I really miss Mike!
Phoebe: God, I wish Mike were here.
Monica: Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing?
Mike: Phoebe called me.
Monica: (To Mike) What are you doing here?
Mike: Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see...
Mike: (to Phoebe) You look really beautiful.
Monica: (to Mike) This doesn't concern you!!
Mike: (to Phoebe) So how've you been?
(Phoebe and Mike sit next to each other)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.]
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment: Phoebe, Monica and Mike sitting on the couch]
Phoebe: Oh, I missed you so much! (she kisses Mike)
Mike: Oh, crap!
Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...
PHOEBE: (knowingly chuckles) Oh, Mike.� Bye.
Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
Phoebe: What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!?
Phoebe: Mike and I broke up.
Phoebe: Mike?? Who's Mike?
Charlie: Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with?
Monica: What are you serious? You wanna marry him? Wha... What about Mike?
David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh?
Mike: Hello?
Mike: Sorry David, but she really has to know this.
Mike: (sounds shocked and sits down) He... he's gonna propose?
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Phoebe: Oh my God, Mike!
Mike: Hi Phoebe.
David: (turns around) Hi Mike!
Mike: I have a question I need to ask you.
Mike: Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
Mike: Who is this?
Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up!
Mike: We can have any future you want.
Mike: Oh... I'm back!
(Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks)
Phoebe & Mike: Yeah! (they leave)
[Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.]
Mike: You're ready to play?
(Monica and Mike start to play ping pong. Mike scores)
Mike: I'll play ya!
Mike: Oh, by the way... I'm awesome!!
Phoebe: Mike, you don't know, you don't know what you're doing!
Mike: That's what I'm thinking.
Mike: Wanna make it more interesting?
Mike: Ten bucks a game?
(Mike scores)
Mike: Do you?
Mike: DO YOU?
Mike: Do you?