words in movies
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Monica: Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?
Chandler: I hear ya. (Pause) But! Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas!
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Chandler: Yknow uh, you didnt really have to help me pack.
Janice: Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didnt really leave me much choice. Did you?
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, I do that cause it makes me look taller.
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Ross: Thats cause-cause youre moms dog kept-kept looking at me.
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Ross: They dont look any bigger than me!
Emily: Liam, do me a favour. Tell the lads to go easy on Ross, its his first time.
Chandler: Yknow you, really didnt have to take me to the airport.
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
Emily: All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.
Ross: Oh no! That-thatll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Yknow what? Im buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, its in my pocket.
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Phoebe: Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
Monica: Me too!
Rachel: Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
Rachel: Oh, this ones for me!
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
Ross: Yeah, didn�t I mention that? Yeah, I mean, we haven�t being going out for too long, but rather there is thisamazing connection between us. I-I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend. I thought it wasa little too soon, but it was also, you know, it was kinda nice.
Janine: Me neither.
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
MONICA: Yeah. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off.
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
Chandler: Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.
Monica: Is it okay for me to come in now?
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Joey: You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!
PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
Rachel: Yeah, right, he almost danced me right down that garbage chute. (Starts to cry)
Phoebe: (jumps in front of Rachel) Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself.
Chandler: Excuse me. (gets up, jumps up and down while he zips his zipper up... other patrons look at him) How ya doin'?
Janine: They said stuff to me too, yknow!
Janine: Me too.
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Ross: He couldn't even tell me! He said it was just some sort of skin... abnormality. And the worst thing is he-he-he said, he said, without being able to identify it, he was reluctant to remove it.
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Chandler: If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?
Joey: I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book (holds up the Playboy magazine).
Monica: Me neither.
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Rachel: Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought wed lost you forever. Pheebs, you lie down?
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!
Gunther: Yeah, that-that Chandler cracks me up.
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Monica: Do you want me to pick you?!
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
CHANDLER: Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15.
Rachel: Ohh, it's me and La Poo! Wow! I miss that dog.
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
Joey: Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?
Monica: He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!
Joey: Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, Ive got you, me, and Chandler and Im gonna invite Gunther cause, well, weve been talking about this pretty loud.
Joey: No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
Jill: No! Yknow what Rachel? Youre right, yknow he has been really nice to me.
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Joey: Well usually...yeah! Well, not just lemonade, iced tea, sometimes juice. Well, sorry, I just, I thought you liked me. Im such a jerk.
Monica: Have you lost your mind? Chandler, this isn't about me! This is about you and all your weird relationship commitment crap!
Ross: Did you tell your sister to ask me out?
Chandler: Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no, you are not getting me this way.
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Jill: (laughs) Me too.
Joey: So, youd hire me, right?
Rachel: Oh yes, its me! Sorry!
Monica: Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on?
Monica: What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me.
Ross: You want me to call her right now?
Phoebe: (crying) Yeah me too.
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
The Fan: Excuse me.
Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Dont you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.
Joey: So, were walking down the street and I turn to you and I say, Hey, lets go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes, remember? And then, and then, you turn to me and say, Nah, lets just hang out at your place. Well, that was a nice move dumb ass.
Jill: You dont want him, but you dont want me to have him?
Jill: Why are you so jealous of me?
Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!
Rachel: Country club newsletter. My mother sends me the engagement notices for 'inspiration.' Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Barry and Mindy!
Phoebe: Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Ross: Umm, she kissed me.
Joey: Okay, what if the puppy said, "Help me Chandler. All the other puppies pick on me."
Rachel: Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sisters mouth long enough to tell me that.
Monica: Excuse me, sir, would it help if I werent wearing underpants?
Monica: (laughs) Thats right. My Mom doesnt have any faith in me! Oh, thats hilarious! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Emily: No ones ever thrown me a surprise party before!
Monica: Yeah, me too! (Runs and grabs her 3-ring binder of ideas.)
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Ross: No-no. Its-its me, Ross!
Rachel: Ohh! Me too!
Chandler: Ok, Janice. Janice. Hey, Janice. Look, there's no way for me to tell you this. At least there's no new way for me to tell you this. I just don't things are gonna work out.
Chandler: Look I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but y'know, it could've been a bullet and you y'know, you didn't try to save me!
Rachel: No-no-dont! Dont leave me here with these people.
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Man: Oops, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Is this the umm, the memorial?
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
Rachel: You are asking me to be your wife!
Chandler: Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.
Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feelOh no! (Realizes that her deed made her happy and therefore it's selfish and covers her mouth in horror.)
Chandler: So you didn't uh, choose Ross before me.
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Ross: Oh hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for ya?
Chandler: Oh thats great! Great! Thanks! But that dress I mean its like yuck! Its terrible! It makes me wanna just rip it right off of you!