words in movies
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Chandler: Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!!
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Phoebe: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, youre only married in Vegas.
Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas youre married everywhere.
{Transcibers note: In case you havent heard, Courteney Cox got married to David Arquette during hiatus and changed her name to Courteney Cox Arquette. But David was a busy boy during the off season for not only did he marry but everyone else as well. For theyre all listed as Jennifer Aniston Arquette, Lisa Kudrow Arquette, in an interesting twist Matt LeBlanc Arquette, Matthew Perry Arquette, David Schwimmer Arquette, and even the creators of the show are now David Crane Arquette and Marta Kauffman Arquette. I just wonder what the new sleeping arrangements are }
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Chandler: Monica and I almost got married last night.
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Monica: Rach! We werent gonna miss our friends getting married!
Rachel: (gasps) Who got married?! (Ross is as surprised to hear this as she is.)
Ross: What?! Hello! We didnt get married.
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
(They turn to look at each other and suddenly remember that they did in fact get married.)
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Joey: They let you get married when youre drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk!
Chandler: Yes, we dont get married unless theres a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then theres a definite sign that we should get married.
Monica: All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 we dont get married.
Chandler: That was so unlikely. Well, lets get married! I guess.
Monica: Ohh, of course we are! (They walk up to the elevators.) We left it up to fate. (Pushes the elevator button.) If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. (The elevator door opens to a priest reading from a bible with Chandler and Monica standing side-by-side holding each others hands.)
Rachel: Okay! So, well just stay married.
Rachel: What-wh-what so well just stay married forever?!
Rachel: Ohh, okay, Im sorry. Youre right. Yknow what? We absolutely can stay married, because I was under the impression that the boxes were far away from each other. All right, look, just please, take a moment here and think about what youre asking of me.
Ross: Listen, I know you wanted to talk to me, but I have an idea that may make you want to stay married. (Rachel shakes her head.) We register, and you get to keep all the presents!
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Chandler: All right, should we just, should we just get married? Yknow? I mean should we just do it? All the signs are telling us to do it.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Monica: Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head.
Joey: You got married to fast.
Ross: Good-good, Im-Im married. (Shows her his ring.)
Rachel: Good day for married people huh?
Ross: Now you guys just got married, why is she so depressed?
Paul: You two were married?!
Monica: What?! Are you crazy?! Im not getting married! Im not even engaged.
Monica: Yeah! So-so when are you getting married?
Megan: Im just kidding. Im getting married July 25th.
Rachel: Oh please, what do you know! You married a lesbian!
Phoebe: Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?
Megan: (To Monica) So when are you getting married?
Rachel: Im just kidding too. (Laughs) Im getting married in December. (Turns away not happy with herself.)
Ross: (sits down at the table) Oh, eh, just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow. (Joey panics.)
Monica: Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never want to get married?
RACHEL: Ya know, in crazy world, that means you're married.
Mr. Bing: Our little boy is getting married.
Rachel: Hey, do you believe this? Do you believe they are actually getting married?
Ross: How do you know? I mean we thought Carol was straight before I married her!
Chandler: I had too okay?! Were getting married! Married couples cant keep secrets from one another!
Rachel: Hey, I thought that guy was married.
Joey/Drake: I can't believe you married him.
Phoebe: Yes, and now hes using this three divorces reason because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, "Well done!" Bravo Meg.
Ross: Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how Ive been married and how I have a son.
Chandler: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; (pause) and we get married here tonight.
Ross: We were drunk! I wouldve married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
Monica: Well, yknow its none of my business, but arent you married?
Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, were up at the altar and Im like this. (Makes a bored face.)
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Joey: So youve just married the one time then?
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Kristen: Youve been married twice?
JANICE: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
Rachel: Hey! Out of all of us, who do you think is gonna get married next?
Rachel: Well, yeah, right, yknow what? Yeah, youre right, I mean, we no, we have our fun. Yeah! But if (Grunts uncomprehensively) I mean, I mean like craaaazy! Yknow? Okay, all right. This is gonna, this is gonna sound yknow, a little umm, hasty, but uh, just go with it. Umm. Ugh. What if we got married?
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Monica: Phoebe, were getting married, married; not sixth grade married.
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh my god. Now I've seen everything! [Phoebe's voice] Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go.
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when were getting married.
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.)
Rachel: Wh So If neither of you are married by the time youre 40, youre gonna marry Joey.
Rachel: Umm Im never gonna getting married!
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Erica: You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend?
Emily: Oh no, no, right I shouldnt have said married. Uh, please dont go freaky on me. I didnt mean it. Well, I didnt say it; I take it back!
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Rachel: What married?
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
Ross: Well yeah, I think we should get married.
Ross: Look you're my wife. We're-we're married. Y'know? I-I love you. I-I really miss you.
Joey: So you uh, nervous about getting married?
Ursula: Umm, nothing. I mean, Im getting married next week.
Chandler: No, the best reason to get married is pregnancy. Sorry is pretty much fourth y'know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married. (Laughs.) Will you be my wife?
Chandler: Well yknow, things are different. Im Im married now.
Ross: Dad so what we have to pretend that were married?
Will: Are ya getting married?
PHOEBE: Well, I mean, I'm not married married, ya know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card.
Ross: No, us having to lie about being married.
Joey: Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?!
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Rachel: It was really fun being married to you tonight.
Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean.. I I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, its almost not worth dating married guys.
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Phoebe: Eh, dont be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
Phoebe: I wanna get married (grabs a tissue)
Rachel: Well, we were just talkin about you guys gettin married and how great it is.
Rachel: No-no-no! No, no, no, were not married.
Phoebe: Well did she know you two werent married?
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Joey: (To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married!
Chandler: I married Fred Sanford!
Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married.
[Scene: The church where Ross and Emily are to be married. Judy, Andrea, and Monica enter together.]
Monica: Yeah, yknow, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldnt have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.) So, I cant wait to see this place youre getting married!
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Ross: no, no, no there's nothing wrong with you I mean you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway.
Chandler: It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
Chandler: I'm *happily* married.
Wendy: So? I'm married. (Showing him the ring on her finger.)
Wendy: Seriously? Happily married. So that phone call before, that was ... happy?
Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Chandler: Why did I get married?!
Phoebe: Mike doesn't ever wanna get married.
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.