words in movies
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Chandler: Im not gonna mess it up.
Rachel: Oh my God, Im so sorry.
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
All: Yeah! Yeah, sort of. Im sorry.
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Chandler: Yes! Yes! Im good! Are you good? Are you good? Is everythingare youare you perrr-perfect?!
Monica: Yeah. Im okay. Im actuallyIm a little cold, can I have your jacket?
Chandler: Yes! Im fine. In fact Ive been fine for a long time now and I think, the reason is you.
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
Chandler: (to Richards date) And uh, you dont have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) Im Chandler; I make jokes when Im uncomfortable.
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Phoebe: Im just helping the kids!
Joey: So uh listen, I think Im gonna take off now. (Starts to get up.)
Ross: Okay umm, bad stuff. Well, Im-Im 12 years older than she is.
Chandler: Im gonna do it tomorrow yknow, and-and surprise her, but now youve ruined it!
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Monica: Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I Im sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.
Monica: Well he is! Yeah, I mean marriage is all he talks about! My goodness, in fact, Im the one thats making him wait!
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Rachel: Im so happy and not at all jealous.
Rachel: I mean Im probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean whats 2%? Thats nothing.
Phoebe: Totally. Im like 90/10.
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Monica: Im just having one of those days where you realize youre in a dead-end relationship!
Monica: Its not like I want to get married tomorrow! Its just that I-Id like to believe that Im in a relationship thats actually going somewhere, that Im not just wasting my time!
Monica: What does he think? Does he think Im just gonna wait around for nothing?
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
Chandler: Hes not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! Im supposed to do that!
Chandler: Well what Yknow what Im gonna do? Im gonna go over there; Im gonna kick his ass! (Pause) Will you help me?!
Chandler: Okay. (Starts running for the bedroom) Im gonna get the ring! Im gonna get the ring! (Does so) Im gonna go find her and (starts running for the door) Im just going to propose!
Monica: I dont know why Im here.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Chandler: Where is she? Im not scared of you! (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
Richard: Well Im sorry.
Richard: Well, apparently Im willing to offer her things that you are not.
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
Joey: Im sorry Dutch, I didnt get that last little bit.
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
Monica: No! Listen, Im not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you cant blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you were getting mono. Lets just call this, tie score and its halftime.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Uh, Im just, Im just looking out your window. At-at the view. What are you guys doing?
Monica: Chandler, Im gonna die a virgin!
Chandler: I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? (Drew looks at him) Og-ee-op, Im not asking for me, Im I mean No, Im-Im not gay, Im not asking you out. Im not-Im not-Im not gay!
Chandler: You dont turn and slide, you throw it out! Im tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed!
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Monica: Yess!! (M & C high-five and Zack looks confused again)
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Joey: (Putting his arm around her.) Im not going anywhere, sweetheart.
Ross: (to Mona) Oh but not that way. I mean I mean Im not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend.
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Monica: Okay. Im guessing that if you dont want to deliver, you probably dont want to pick stuff up either.
Ross: Im the ring bearer.
Joey: Im gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson.
Ross: No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thoughtit wasnt that funny. So Im still torn.
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Phoebe: Oh Jim, Jim Nelson Im Phoebe, Phoebe Buffay. We certainly have been seeing a lot of each other lately.
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Phoebe: So, we realize thatOh no (She resets herself) Im telling it! Im telling it (She loses it.)
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Phoebe Sr.: Sorry. But just one last thing. Y'know you came looking for family. Im family, Im it. Now, now Im done. (starts to leave)
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
Chandler: Hey. I just, I just wanted to come over to-to say that Im sorry. Yknow? I know I acted like the biggest idiot in the world, and I can completely understand why you were so upset.
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
Phoebe: Hi Phoebe Abott, Im your best friends daughter!
Rachel: (screams and grabs a potato masher to defend herself) Sorry. Im sorry.
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Phoebe: I�m starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day.
Phoebe: Im just taking it to be re-wired.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Monica: Stop it Chandler. (Chandler is relieved) Im sorry too.
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Phoebe: Im wearing his briefs right now.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
Jill: Its probably because not mature enough. Or smart enough. Maybe he doesnt like the way I dressNo that cant be it. Its really gotta be the smart thing. Oh Im so stupid! Im just like this incredibly pretty stupid girl!
Helena: Im not very fond of New York. Queens I like. (Noticing Monicas ring.) Ooh, what is this sparkle something! (Shows the audience who woos.) Honey! Huh?
Monica: Okay, I feel like Im talking to Lassie. All right, Phoebe would you just tell me!
Ticket Agent: Im afraid Im going to have to ask you to step aside, Miss.
Ross: Mr. Morse I need to talk to you about your mid-term exam, Im afraid I-I had to fail you.
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
Phoebe: Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, youre still pregnant. Oh, Im sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Yknow what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
Joey: So you like the nachos uh? Myself Im partial to
Elizabeth: Ross, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I just wanted to tell you that Im going to Florida for a couple weeks.
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)
Joey: Im missin picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.)
The Fan: Can-can I get your autograph, Im your biggest fan. (Holds out a napkin and a pen.)
Ross: (yelling, thinking Emily can hear him through the answering machine all the way to New York.) I love you too! Im, Im gonna call you right now from the phone booth! (Realises) You cant hear me. (Goes to make his call.)
Joey: Oh no, I cant go. Im practicing; I got an audition to be the host of a new game show.
Melissa: (quietly) Im a party planner. Ill see you tomorrow. (Exits.)
Rachel: Well, there was a disaster in shipping and Ive got to get this order in. Honey, Im so sorry, but it looks like Im gonna be here all night.
Monica: Im-Im sorry, its just that umm Well I-I cook at this restaurant, Alessandros, and umm I just got a really bad review
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Chandler: You are gonna be a huge star! Im gonna hug ya!
Monica: My mothers driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. Im happy. (A drunken man approaches.) Im not going to let anything spoil that.
Ross: Im going to uh Im going to, um, put the bourbon in it at home.
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
Joey: Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Monica: Okay, Im never gonna wear them again. I just didnt get a chance to say goodbye.
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Chandler: Im sorry, I guess I just like the pulp.
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Ross: Hey, Im not going to rush into anything!
Cecilia: Im supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but thats not supposed to be until (to no one in particular) later!
Chandler: (To Chandler) Im out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again?
Mona: Ross, we we have to be strong. Okay, I-Im gonna go. (She picks up the shirt Ross has just set down.) Can I? To remember you?
Joey: Thats okay. Chandlers the one Im mad at.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Rachel: Okay. Its okay. Were gonna be okay. Yknow what? Its okay. Im gonna, Im gonna, Im gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets!
Ross: Okay, Im done with my choices, these are final. (holds up a little card)
Monica: Well, Ive tried everything. I give up. I guess Im not gonna be the mom who makes the worlds best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that right.
Rachel: Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? Im asking you first, right?!. I mean Im playing by the rules.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay, Im going to have to kick her ass too.
Monica: (entering from bedroom) Okay, Ill be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe Im sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: Yknow, dirty talk, m�nage � trois, toys
Chandler: �kay, look: Can we just drop this? I�m not gonna smoke again.
Ross: Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows Im talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Dont-dont youWhWhaHey!!
Rachel: Ooh, so cute, that Im thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.
Chandler: Im a little busy here Paul.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Rachel: You know what? Ive been thinking about it. Im really coming around on the name Ruth. I think I would actually consider naming our child that.