words in movies
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is drilling Joey on the chords as Monica looks on.]
Phoebe: G-sharp? Have you been studying the real names of the chords? (Joey doesn't answer.) Have you? (He looks away in shame.) Oh my God!
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
(Ross opens the door and steps into the living room. He has fully removed his pants and holds them wrapped into a ball in front of his crotch. His legs are covered in the powder and lotion paste. He looks terrible.)
Chandler: Well I was I was exactly expecting company after (He looks at his watch.) 9:15.
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
Rachel: (looks puzzled) How...how...?
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Ross: uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)
Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)
Rachel: Who (looks around)?
(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel.)
Joey: Phonetically? (Looks confused)
Joey: So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.
Rachel: (Looks ashamed) I try...
(Everyone looks at her)
Monica: What? (looks very shocked) Why?
Rachel: Yeah, I-I heard. (Pause, everyone looks at each other, waiting for Rachels reaction.) I think its great! (Hugs Ross.) Ohh, Im so happy for you!
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
Ross: (looks) Oh yeah! You'rehey, you're right! Here's an affordable place, (reading ad) two bedroom, close to work, ooh, it's available in five weeks!
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (Ross looks at her.) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
(He looks at his bedroom door, but he can't remember the name of the girl.)
Rachel: ...I really don't... (looks around again)
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
(Chandler looks dejected. Rachel picks up another gift.)
Phoebe: Okay, dime! (Donates that.) You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. (Finds something else.) Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! (Looks at it.) Oh my God, this is a police badge!
Ross: Oh, it's all over everything. Why? Why me? (looks up)
(Rachel looks at him.)
(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
(Monica looks at him.)
Chandler: No!! Okay!! Whats with the third degree?! Why dont you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
(Monica looks shocked)
Joey: It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Chandler: (smiles) Pull my finger(Looks at his hand)My hand is messed up.
(There's a couple of seconds of silence. Then Chandler looks around...)
Ross: (looks back at the cake) Hey!
Chandler: Ross, what're you... what're you... what are you doing? (looks at laptop screen)You're having a memorial service for yourself!?
(Rachel looks at Emma)
Mike: (looks strangely shocked) Excuse me... (he leaves, then Phoebe realizes what she did).
Chandler: (Still looks confused) They loved it.
(Rachel looks very shocked)
(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
(Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".)
(Rachel looks worried)
Rachel: (looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What?
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Phoebe: Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? (Mike looks bewildered)
Rachel: Well, this is going well. (Chandler looks worried)
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. But I didnt I didnt propose!
(They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.)
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
Rachel: No Mon that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand! (Storms out.)
Monica: Yess!! (M & C high-five and Zack looks confused again)
Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her!
Joey: Don't worry, it's out there! (Just then a horn honks and Joey quickly looks at the road.) I think I just need lunch.
(Monica looks insulted)
(Rachel enters, checking the mail, then looks up and sees Gladys placed on the barcalounger.)
Joey: Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing...
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Ross: C'mon! This looks good!
(Joey looks satisfied)
Ross: (feeling the fabric) Wow, this is really soft (he looks the price). Three hundred and fifty dollars?
Joey: Oh, that looks great! Good ordering!
Phoebe: Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
Phoebe: (nonchalantly glancing) Hey. (Turns back around.) Wow! (Looks up.) Well done.
Ross: Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy?
(Mike's face changes from happy to sad, and he looks at the cake, disappointed.)
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Chandler: (looks over at her) Sure, nice.
(Sarah looks a little disgusted)
Girl: Wow, this place looks great.
Phoebe: Oh, she looks just like a little doll!
Rachel: Wh(Turns and looks at the gang whos staring)Why dont I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)
(Chandler looks at the other two guys, embarrassed)
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Ross: (looks disappointed in himself) Man... I... I'm sorry.
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
(A guy enters that looks suspiciously like Alec Baldwin from The Hunt for Red October, Pearl Harbor, and Beetlejuice.)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Chandler: (looks surprised) What!? Of course I did!
Ross: Okay, relax, relax. We are gonna be here for a while, it looks like, and we still have boyfriends and your career to cover.
Ross: No, actually I was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together. But now you mention it, there was ice there that night... It was the first frost...
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him)
Mike: Well... hey, the key works...! (he looks as if he doesn't want to believe what's happening)
(The director looks at Joey and he nods.)
Erica: No, he's in prison. (More shocked looks from Monica and Chandler)
Chandler: It's seven years ago. (he looks surprised) My time machine works!
Rachel: Oh, thank you... (looks at his face trying to remember his name)
Mr Zelner: Yeah, his name is Ross. (Ross looks very surprised) What?
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Monica: (looks confused and scared) I don't know why.
Monica: Ours is so much better! This living room is smaller, the dining room looks like a cave! What a hole!