words in movies
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Phoebe: So okay what? Youre gonna be married to a girl who doesnt even know about it?!Op, woman! Sorry.
{Transcibers note: In case youre wondering, and I know you are. Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show }
Chandler: Yknow when we move in together, can I get a gumball machine?
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
Rachel: Ugh, the worse day! Yknow, you think youre making progress at work and then your boss calls you Raquel.
Rachel: And Chandler, youre gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel cant be late.
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
Karin: Actually, Im dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like yknow bad for me, so until I work that out
Joey: God, its gonna so weird like when I come home and youre not here. Yknow? No more Joey and Chans. No more J and Cs. "You wanna go over to Joey and Chandlers?" "Cant, its not there."
Monica: Yknow, no point in dragging it out. Dragging out the long process of you moving out and us not living together anymore.
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? (She holds up a chrome 5-point star.) Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I dont know if I want it because it might be yknow, too many memories!
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Rachel: Mon, honey youre not dying. Im just moving out. Yknow, I mean were gonna see each other all the time.
Rachel: Oh, all right. But yknow I gotta say, I dont, I dont think six years counts as an era.
Rachel: Well yknow, its you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Yknow? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess Im not upset because I dont see you guys going through with it. Im sorry.
Monica: I know!
Phoebe: I know. Then, Im gonna marry Chandler for the money and youll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! Back then yknow, we called the Great War. It really was!
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Joey: Is there anything we should know about the apartment?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Rachel: Hi! Yknow what honey, were actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but Im out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check?
Lydia: Oh, shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... waah!
Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)
Ross: Yknow of-officer I uh I had the weirdest dream last night
Rachel: Yeah! But I dont know what he looks like!
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Joey: You know youve been spitting on me?!
Phoebe: You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
Joey: (wiping face) Wow! Didnt know that.
Monica: (looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Phoebe: Yknow she might not even notice hes gone.
Richard: So Monica let me ask you a question. Yknow, since we broke up do you ever, think about me?
CHANDLER: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game.� So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Phoebe: But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Joey: Hey, yknow you could always visit him.
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wait! Maybe, maybe youre overreacting! You do that yknow.
Phoebe: Yeah, yknow what I noticed Rachel? He scares easy. Is that the kind of guy youd like to take to a ball? "Hey Sebastian, would you like to dance?" (Imitates him.) "Uhh, okayI gotta go!"
Monica: I know! Hey, hows Chandler doin?
Chandler: I know about Monica.
Phoebe: You know?!
Chandler: You dont know?
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
Courtney: Okay. You know its gonna happen.
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
Rachel: No yknow, I dont want to switch! Come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Joey: I know! My grandmothers gonna see this!
Alice: Weve been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged, we thought wed get a jump on things, yknow no ones getting any younger.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Jennifer: You just know.
Joey: Oh yeah, and shes really nice too! She taught me about yknow, how to work with the cameras and smell-the-fart acting.
Rachel: (To Joey) Do you even know who Kip is?
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Eric: Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and its not like me to do something so impulsive, but shes just so perfect, and we have so much in common.
Phoebe: Yeah. I was just in there. He introduced himself and the next thing I know, were making out. You know.
Joey: Uh, I dont even really know where I left those. Sorry.
Rachel: I dont know! Maybe they have tools.
Rachel: (starting to cry) I dont know.
Joey: Hey! Handcuffs! And fur line, nice! I didn't know you guys had it in ya!
Rachel: Well, yknow I-I dont know where he is.
Chandler: And the world will never know.
Monica: Honey, Im not returning them. Okay? I mean I-I know they cost a lot, but Im going to wear them all the time. Youll see. Besides, I love the compliments. I mean, have you ever had something so beautiful everyone wanted it?
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Rachel: Oh I know. I know. (They hug.)
Phoebe: Now you know how you really feel about it.
Phoebe: I cant believe I still dont know what happened to the window in the attic!
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it.
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
Phoebe: We dont know.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Chandler: Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julies
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
Rachel: How?! How do you know?
Joey: We know its Ross!
EDDIE: Wha-, n-, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people runnin' around on the beach, ya know.
Rachel: I know! (They hug.)
Chandler: You already know.
Ross: Yeah, hey I-I have clothes, I even pick them out. I mean for, for all you know I could be a fashion..... monger.
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, I know... (mirroring her friend) ..I'm I'm just not that bright either.
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Monica: Were going to Las Vegas to see your dad. Its time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what? Can I, can I talk now?
Rachel: Yknow what? Lets, lets talk later.
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
Rachel: Listen, yknow what? I was really freaked out too when I found out
Rachel: Okay, yknow maybe I should come back (Starts to leave.)
Ross: You already know dont you?
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Ross: No wait, look. Look! I'm sorry, it's just I've never even met Howard. I-I mean I don't know Howard.
Joey: Yknow, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Monica: I know.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Rachel: You know you kissed me first.
Ross: Yknow what? Yknow what? Rachel, just-just drop it.