words in movies
[Scene: A Theatre, Chandler and Ross are there to watch the premiere of Kathys play.]
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Kathy: Hi!
Kathy: No, youre my first. Put the money on the table.
(Ross and Chandler have stunned looks on their faces as Kathy and her co-star start making out.)
Kathy: If you want it to be.
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
Phoebe: Ooh! How was Kathys play?
Ross: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin guy.
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Kathy: Hey you guys!
Kathy: Hi! (Kisses Chandler) Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight?
Kathy: Wasnt Nick funny when he couldnt get his match lit?
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Kathy: Clearly, Im having sex with him?
Kathy: Okay, so let me just get this straight. Youre accusing me of cheating on you, and insulting my performance?
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
Kathy: Oh, wow. I cant believe youre throwing that in my face.
Kathy: Ill tell you what, Chandler, why dont you call me when you grow up!
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
Kathy: (opening the door) Hey.
Kathy: Oh wow. I really wish youd call me.
Kathy: Yeah.
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Chandler: (entering in a bathrobe) I just walked in the bathroom and saw Kathy naked! It was like torture!
Kathy: I'm sorry, it's just this Ernie Cofax thing on in a few minutes I wanted to watch.
(Kathy leans in really close and Chandler mouths "Oh my God." She moves around in front of him and kneels at his feet.)
Kathy: (interrupting) Oh, it looks great!
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV as Joey and Kathy are laughing in Joey's bedroom. They get to be pretty loud so Chandler turns the TV way up.]
Chandler: Ahh, come on! Yknow whatyknow what, I think Im just gonna go home and call Kathy.
Kathy: Yeah, I do. Of course, I learned at my aunts dog grooming shop, but hey, what do you say?
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.
Chandler: It's okay, the duck's using our bathroom anyway. (Kathy goes into the bathroom.) Hey Joe! What are you getting Kathy for her birthday?
Kathy: Umm, (moves her hands down to his butt) I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me?
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are kissing.]
Kathy: (outside the door) No. (Chandler opens the door and they kiss again.)
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Kathy: Oh my God, is it really that bad?
Chandler: Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
Kathy: Horrible!
Kathy: Yes! Yeah! Joey has great hair! Umm, Im basically done here. Just let me get this off your neck.
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, continued from earlier. Chandler and Kathy are still kissing, then they stop suddenly.]
[Scene: A nightclub, Chandler is having dinner with Kathy and Joey.]
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
Kathy: With a K.
(Kathy runs in, hair all out of place, and hugs Monica.)
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
Kathy: Hi.
Chandler: (sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!
Kathy: You're kidding! Oh, I love him.
Kathy: (laughs) Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Kathy: Oh please!
Kathy: Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! Thank you! (Runs back to Chandler)
Kathy: Oh my God!
Kathy: No, you didn't. Hi, I'm Kathy.
Kathy: Wow! You are really good at this.
Kathy: (laughs) What about the duck?
Kathy: (to Chandler) We were just talking about you.
Kathy: Okay.
Monica: Y'know what, I like Kathy.
Kathy: Hey!
Joey: Yeah! You don't like Kathy.
Phoebe: Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy.
(Joey and Kathy enter, laughing)
Kathy: Well....
Kathy: Not your type?! She's gorgeous!
Kathy: Um, thank you for the gift.
Kathy: I'll be in in a minute.
Kathy: Thank you!
[Kathy enters]
Kathy: Hey.
Kathy: Oh.
Chandler: Wait! Youre going out with Kathy!
Kathy: So is Joey around?
Kathy: Oh, okay.
Kathy: Looks good.
Kathy: Okay. Bye.
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Chandler: I kissed Kathy.
Kathy: Oh.
Kathy: So what did you do today?
Kathy: Can you really do that?
Kathy: No, but thats bad!
Kathy: What?!
Joey: No-no-no, I think Im gonna see how things go with Kathy. Shes pretty cool.
Joey: No. No, Kathy.
Joey: No-no, Kathy.
Kathy: Oh, jeez. (Hits him)
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Kathy: Well, Im still sorry. Is he here?
Kathy: Im sorry. If you wanna pretend that nothing happened, I can try.
Joey: Ill get it. (Its Kathy.)
Kathy: Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am
Kathy: Why not? Whats going on?
Kathy: (sees its Joey) Oh.
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Kathy: No, but this wonder broom is amazing!
Kathy: Can I borrow the keys to your apartment?
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
Chandler: Well, Kathys last boyfriend was Joey.
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Kathy: No-no-no, the kiss was good.
Kathy: Well, I could cut it.
Kathy: Oh! (They kiss and she leaves)
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Kathy: Hey, Chandler! What are you doing here?
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Kathy: No, I really did forget my purse.
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Monica: (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone," thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
[Kathy whispers something in Joey's ear]
Kathy: (to Chandler) So? Huh? What do you think?