words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Behind you?
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Joshua: So, all right.
Rachel: Okay. So, can I serve you a little ofWhat? What? What? (She sees that Joshua isnt relaxed.)
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
Joshua: They-they-they can smell fear.
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
Joshua: and even though none of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me!
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Joshua: Hey, heres an idea. Why dont uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Joshua: Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here.
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Joshua: Oh my God!
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, continued from earlier.]
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
Mrs. Burgin: Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.
Joshua: There you go.
Originally written by Transcribed by Joshua Hodge
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Originally written by Adam Chase. Transcribed by Joshua Hodge.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Joshua: Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Joshua: Hi, Im Joshua.
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
Joshua: Hi. (He has just returned.)
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Joshua: Uhh, yeah, I think Im going to take-off too.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Joshua: What do you think?
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: Also large?
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
Joshua: Gloves?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Rachel: Joshua.
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Joshua: Why not?!
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: But
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.
Joshua: Hey!
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there.
Joshua: Okay uh, however
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Joshua: Yeah.
Joshua: But
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Joshua: I gotta go.
Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.)
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Joshua: (sitting) You okay?
Joshua: Great!
Joshua: Do I?
Joshua: (entering) Hey, Rachel.
Joshua: (noticing her) Hey-whoa-hey-hey, what was that?
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-Im not too sure I agree with that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Joshua: Whats up? Youre voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
Joshua: Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves.
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
(Mr. Waltham admires Joshuas butt as he leaves.)
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Joshua: Yeah, it was my first date since the uh, since the divorce.
Joshua: Huh. (She starts brushing the lint off and checking him out in the mirror.) Yeah?
Joshua: Uhh, actually yknow what, I kindaI have to take off.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what, yknow what? This playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. (Chandler does so.) Okay. Okay. (She does a little sexy walk over to where Joshua is standing.) Hi!
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Joshua: Anyway, hopefully, Ill see you around sometime. (He goes out the door.)
Joshua: Its this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Joshua: Man, I could really flash somebody in this thing. (He goes to put his hands in his pockets.)
Joshua: All those things I said about not being ready
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Joshua: Yknow, I wore that cashmere sweater on a date last night.
Originally written by Michael Borkow, Mike Sikowitz & Jeffrey Astrof Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Joshua: Yeah, sure-sure, yeah, were-were-were-were-were clicking.