words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Joey and Ross are playing Sony Playstation. Chandler enters.]
[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]
Joey: Maybe I could give thanks for you shuttin up, eh?
Joey: Well maybe I love ya.
[Joey and Ross drop their video game controllers.]
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, why? Whats up?
Joey: Ye-ye, we go to yours!
[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]
Joey: How you got three women to marry you, Ill never know.
[Joey and Ross enter.]
Joey and Ross: Hey!
Joey: Oh, ooh the food smells great, Mon!
Joey: Yeah, hey hey, Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
Joey: Well, this has been great!
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Joey: Uh, some of her friends, yeah.
Joey: (frustrated) Yes, all right? All of her hot dancer friends are gonna be there and theyre gonna be, be drinkin and dancin, and we really wanna go!
Ross: (to Joey) Dude, we were good!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Joey: Rach, youre killin us here, will ya serve the dessert already? Those drunken dancers are waiting!
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
Joey: Y-sure!
Joey and Ross: (faking dissapointment) Okay.
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Joey: (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!
Joey: (sad) Oh man! Now shes gonna start all over! Were never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world!
Joey: Just let her serve the beef-custard thing?
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Rachel: Joey, God, your apartment is like a hundred degrees!
Joey: Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear?
Joey: (frustrated) Still not hot enough!
[Joey leaves]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Joey: (to Rachel) Will you hurry up? Did you not hear me before when I told you that all of Janines friends are dancers?! And that theyre going to be drinking alot!?
Joey: Well youre whippin so slow! Cant you do it any faster?
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
[Joey gives her an understanding look.]
Joey: Oh I am!
[Joey rushes over.]
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Joey: Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.
Joey: Look, when everyone eats that...that...Banana-Meat thing, theyre all gonna make fun of her, do you want that?
Joey: (scolding) Dude, theyre not objects.
Joey: Just kiddin, Ill talk to them, you distract Rach.
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Rachel: Joey, youre gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You dont get any dessert.
Joey: (happily) Really?
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Joey: I like it.
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood.
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
Joey: Nope, got it and I got yours (Pointing to Jack) too.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Joey: What are you talking about?! I'm the lead in a movie!
JOEY: Ok.
JOEY: Well don't just say.
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
JOEY: Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first.
JOEY: What?
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
JOEY: Yeah, he's just really great to hang around with.
JOEY: What?
Joey: Awww! Mel Torme died.
Joey: (Jokingly) Well, stuffed clams.
Joey: (hides the TV, but he still has an earphone) Just a, uh... hearing disability.
Rachel: There's no room under the bed. (looks around because she can't find Joey anymore)
[Cut to the hall, Joeys sister runs up and grabs Chandlers butt.]
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
[Joey shows them the torn-up newspaper.]
JOEY: Thanks Ross.
JOEY: What?
JOEY: Huh?
JOEY: I went.
Joey: Oh! Oh-oh, you gotta pick Joey! I mean, name one famous person named Chandler.
JOEY: I can't watch this.
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Talent Agency.Joey is there.]
Chandler: My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt. (Glaring at Joey whos nodding.)
JOEY: My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
JOEY: Hello.
JOEY: I know I would.
JOEY: Hey no problem.
JOEY: What happened to the foosball?
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
JOEY: Oh yeah.
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
JOEY: He paid a lot of money for it.
JOEY: Nooooo.
JOEY: Not a dad.
Joey: Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake up, uh...
Joey: (entering) Hey! (Goes to the fridge.)
Joey: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!!
[Joey walks to the door. He stops, turns around.]
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Joey: Yeah, were gonna be fine! Get out!
Joey: (from bedroom) WHOAA!!
Joey: Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting there and Monica walks in.]
JOEY: You're kiddin'.
JOEY: Who said it was for you?
Joey: Im gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson.
JOEY: Do what?
JOEY: Yeah good luck, good luck.
JOEY: Hey, hey, hey no.
JOEY: Hey Rach, you uh, you want some sandwich?
JOEY: Well why don't you just reach out and take his trampoline.
JOEY: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
JOEY: Yeah, whatever you need. Hey, you wanna go home?
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe pulls up in the cab with Rachel and Joey in the back.]
Joey: So what if he didnt come! We can still go out and party ourselves!
JOEY: How come those?
JOEY: Good.
JOEY: [movers removing a glass parrot] Oh, not my parrot.
JOEY: [in the voice] Hard to say.
Joey: Hm-mm! Yeah nice necklace!
Joey: (to Ross) Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us.
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Chandler walks in. Joey and Janine are knitting at the kitchen counter.]
Joey: Oh. (She kisses him.) Yeah. (She goes into her room.) Me to. (He then starts to freak out.)
JOEY: By someone besides Monica?
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
JOEY: Oh, now it's a spare room?
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
JOEY: Uh, Pheebs, how long do you think this lady'll be with us?
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
JOEY: Excellent.
Joey: Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you.
JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .
JOEY: Really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun?
[Joey is staring at Monica's breasts]
JOEY: Cause she uh, she steals stuff.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
JOEY: Right this is staging.
Joey: Hey-hey, youre startin to sound like the butchers wife there in-in chapter seven.
MONICA: Right now, Joey and Chandler's, go now.
Joey: Y'know what, I dont think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
Joey: In Bizarro World!! You broke the code!
Joey: (pats Chandler on the leg) That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?
JOEY: Quick volleyball question.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is putting jam on his muffin, lots of jam]
JOEY: Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through.
Joey: Why not?! (to Chandler) Im hungry.
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey and the Hombre man are facing off in Joey's section.]
JOEY ON TV: Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is watching movers take all his stuff away.]
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.