words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe: Shhhh!
Chandler: Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in vegetables, Joey?
Joey: Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game.
Joey: Fifty-six!
Joey: Hey! How is New England not a state? Huh? They have a sports-team!
Chandler: Does South Oregon have a sports-team? (Joey strikes one from his list) There you go.
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm?
Joey: 46. Wow! Who's well educated now, Mr. I-forgot-ten-states?
Monica: All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food!
Joey: (gets up) All right. Don't look at my list, Ross, 'cause there's a lot on there that you don't have.
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
Joey: But the drawer full of take-out menus is okay, right?
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Joey: What the hell is in there?
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Joey: Yeah that dog left!
Joey: (interrupting him) Don't do it!
Chandler: (to Joey) I have to! Okay? It's time! (Joey shrugs as if to say, "Do what you have to do") Okay, I hate dogs.
Joey: Told ya. (Waves bye-bye.)
Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin ice cream.
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
Joey: (realizes what he said) Street noise drowned any of that out? (Rachel moves madly towards him) No, all right, I see you later, okay... (Turns away embarrassed)
Tag: What did Joey say? I like you back?
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Rachel: No? (He shakes his head) All right, here's the truth um, Joey said what he said, because um, I'm attracted to you.
Joey: (entering) Okay, I'm in my sweat pants. Bring on the food! (Sees that Chandler has a worried look on his face) What's the matter?
Joey: So? Bring the dog back, you're a hero.
Joey: Chandler, it's like a big gerbil.
Joey: Ross, you need some help?
Joey: (sits down next to Ross) First of all, Utah? Dude, you can't just make stuff up!
[Joey stands up again. Rachel enters the door]
Joey: Hey! Tag's still talking to the police.
Joey: If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
[Rachel walks past Joey towards the couch]
Joey: Oh No-no-no-no-no-no-no! He went over to Ross' to bring the dog back here!
Joey: You think?
Joey: What did they do?
Joey: Hey-hey, Ross?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
Joey: Oh God. Uh, okay, heres the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...
(Joey fakes a scream.)
Joey: They were in his office.
Joey: Whoa, ah!! Were you just gonna give me some lemonade?
Joey: Im telling you man, I saw it.
JOEY: Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Joey: Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice?
JOEY: That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "whoa."
Chandler: Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Joey: You said number two.
Joey: Uh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler are looking through Monica's high school yearbook]
Joey: I know. (giggles harder)
Joey: Well, now we got a reason.
Joey: Hey uh, whats a matter?
Tour Guide: Maybe its crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now (Turns around) Peter! Hey, Peter! Its me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! (to Joey) See, he pretend he dont even here me!
Joey: What are you ah, what are you gonna do?
Joey: Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
Joey: Hey-hey, Im not judging.
Erin: Okay. (Joey goes to get some coffee and Erin sits down.)
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
JOEY: Uh, uh, we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
Katie: Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! (She punches Rachel like she punched Joey.)
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Joey: Hey, thats never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is lecturing on facial expressions.]
[Scene: Back at the restroom at Marcel's. Chandler is still in the stall, Joey comes in to go to the bathroom.]
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
Joey: Ive got a science question.
Joey: Says who? Your mom?
[Scene: Joey is at the cab driver interview.]
Joey: So did that do anything for ya?
Joey: (entering) G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play?
Monica: (to Chandler and Joey) I won the game.
Rachel, Chandler, and Joey: What?
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: Wow! That was good. That was...(points to his pocket) Tweezers?
Joey: (on the tape) I'm comin' out! (He opens the door and hops out pointing the gun in all directions and then runs out of view.)
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
Joey: Mar-klan.
JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
Joey: Yeah! Wow, your like from a whole other country.
Joey: I think so.
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
JOEY: The Ice Capades?
Joey: What the hells the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
Joey: Pheebs, run!
Joey: After!!
Joey: No. Y'know how were always saying we need a place for the mail.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, ok. Ooh, hey 'new doc on the block, Days of Our Lives' Joey Tribbiani.' Ooh, cool picture.
Monica and Joey: One-Mississippi. Two-Mississippi. Three-Mississippi.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and the girls are sitting at the couches.]
Joey: What are you gonna do?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Here you go!
(Joey throws the ball to Chandler)
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are eating breakfast as Joey enters, very happily.]
Ross: Fine, fine, Rachel your with Monica, Joey youre with me.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Chandler: And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you! And we don't want to buy your bat! (Joey lowers his bat)
Joey: Hey, it's me! I'm comin' in!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, no, no, I-Im not playing with this guy, now.
Margha: Im sorry, Joey, that is my chose.
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! She obviously didnt understand the question.
Chandler and Joey: What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?
Joey: This is great, this is great, what else, what else?
Joey: Nice going. You just saved yourself a couple months of sex.
Joey: This sucks, I was just up by that much!
(Joey steps in a picks up the paper, the gang all look at him.)
Joey: (looking at the timer) Thirty seconds left on the timer!
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
JOEY: Woah, dude, burn.
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Joey: Fumble!
Joey: What? Me having a job?
Joey: Excellent! Excellent! And uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff yknow, sexually?
Joey: Oh yeah.
Joey: Hey. What, what are you doing here?
Joey: Sure.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Phoebe: (walking up to Joey) Hey.
Joey: Set....hike!
Joey: Look Rach, wasnt this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
Joey: No! Its not okay! Its not okay at all!! Youre dead inside!!
Joey: This sucks! I didnt know I had to stay up all night before I went to this stupid sleep clinic! Im so tired!
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
Joey: Youre smoking again?!
[Scene: Joey work, Joey is showing a guy a tree.]
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Chandler: Run, Joey! Run for your life! (runs out)