words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Joey: Look, Ill come to the party but Im not dressing up.
Joey: No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone youre not
Joey: That hot girl from their wedding?
Joey: Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huhOoh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreNo-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.
Phoebe: Now wasnt Joey hitting on her at the wedding too?
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Yes I did! Im Chandler. (Looks at Chandler) Dude, what happened?
Joey: Okay. Im Chandler (makes a growling/gurgling sound at the end and the girls laugh.)
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
Joey: (sees Ross) Hey all right, Ross came as doody.
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
[Time lapse, Monica is going over to talk to Joey.]
Monica: Hey Joey?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Exclusively.
Joey: Catwoman, hands down.
Joey: But between you and Phoebe, Id have to give the edge to Phoebe.
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Monica: No youre fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?
Joey: Im not sure.
Joey: Will you relax?! What are you taking this so seriously for? It doesnt matter.
Joey: I would say, "Woman, please!"
Joey: (To Monica) Here comes the temper.
Chandler: Joeys gonna be thrilled! He was hoping youd come by as a slutty nurse.
[Cut to Joey and Monica.]
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Joey: So Ross?
Joey: (To Monica) Hey-hey-hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question.
Joey: Monica and I were talking about who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross?
Joey: So you think Ross too?
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
Joey: Hey Monica! (Grabs her and pulls her into the living room.) People came to see a fight, lets give em what they came for!
Joey: Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.
Joey: Seriously guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.
Joey: Rach?
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
Joey: (entering) Pheebs come on! Bunny vs. Doody! Were waiting! (They go inside.) (To Chandler and Ross.) Okay. Okay guys, one match, winner take all. (They grasp each others hand in preparation for battle.) Oh wait-wait! What does the winner get?
Joey: (laughing) Okay, if you say so. All right, ready? Set! Go!
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Mona: (To Joey) Wow! Theyre both really strong.
Joey: Or equally weak.
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Joey: (to her) Youre a weird lady.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Thats not so bad.
Joey: Come on! Youre good with kids. Theyre just crazy on Halloween. Yknow, theyre all greedy and hopped up on sugar!
Joey: Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime theyre hungry or sleepy. Yknow, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
(Joey and Chandler shoot each other glances)
JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper.
JOEY: Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
JOEY: Freaky.
Joey: No idea? Who do you think brought her here?
JOEY: Ahh, you drive safe.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
Joey: no... hmmmmm... it's not... hmmmmmmmmmm
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
JOEY: Oh no, what happened?
JOEY: Yeah, I've had it.
Rachel: Im fine! Im fine! Im just losing a tooth, its no big deal. I have a dentist! Yknow. Im gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. (She goes over to the ice and Joey and Monica follow her.) What do I do now? What do I do now?
Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)
[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey is there.]
Joey: Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots.
Joey: Yeah, well be fine.
[The next one is from Episode 712: The One Where Theyre Up All Night, Joey and Ross are deciding how to climb down the final part of the fire escape.]
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: (Enters) Hey you guys Im gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey, hey, and I'm in the movie.
Joey: A little more, a little more. (she stuffs some more down his pants and Joey's assesses the how many there already are in there.) A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this.
Joey: I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo.
Joey: Ah. (Joey walks to Chandlers bag by getting as far away from Chandlers bed as possible.)
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
JOEY: Sir.
JOEY: Oh, thanks, thanks. Bye bye Jeannie.
JEANNIE: Bye bye Joey.
JOEY: Yeah Bing, what's that about?
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
Joey: Ooh, yeah, I'm not going anywhere for a while.
JOEY: Karen.
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us!
JOEY: Really?
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
JOEY: Hey! We were just sayin', great apartment man.
JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?
JOEY: I don't feel like talkin.
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
JOEY: They didn't fight a lot?
(Joey walks toward the door, then hesitates and turns back.)
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
Joey: How do you get a monkey into a zoo?
JOEY: Come on, I need your help here.
JOEY: I did do it, I'm a professional.
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
CHANDLER: Joey, no means no!
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
JOEY: I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Joey: Well, I-I mightve said supergay.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, (grabs his pants) I'm not fallin' for that again.
CHANDLER: Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Joey: Morning, hey, you made pancakes?
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: (sarcastically) Good morning.
Joey: This is Janice.
Joey: (under his breath) Kiss her! Kiss her!
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Wheel!
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
Joey: Look, what do you want me to say?
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Joey: Okay. I'm in.
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is showing Phoebe around.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Joey: I'm sorry man, I tired, I really did.
JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
Joey: Oh good, uh youre here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say.
Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex.
Joey: Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you."
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."