words in movies
Joey: Hey! Rachel: Congratulations! Wow!!
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Joey: (Looking inside the fridge, and we only see his back. Then he closes the door, and we see it's Joey.) Hi sweetie!
Joey: No.
Joey: Cool!
Joey: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Joey: I can do that! (in a deeper voice) "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product?
Joey: (after a long pause he starts miming again) I'm cold!
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Joey and Emma are there.]
Joey: Oh! Any word on casting yet?
Joey: What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Joey: Thank you. (he sits down)
Joey: Damn it! (he leaves)
Joey: Just pass it to your boss!
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
Joey: What's up?
Joey: (sounds disappointed) Oh.
Joey: (looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Joey: (sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape.
Joey: Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Joey: Keep going Pinocchio!
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Chandler: (following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Rachel are talking.]
Chandler: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!
(Joey comes out of his room)
Joey: You still here?
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Joey: (very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: (enters from his bedroom) What?
Rachel: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: Joey, we're not keeping this!
Joey: But it's an original Buffay...
Joey: Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?
Rachel: Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.
Joey: GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)
Joey: Now, what do you say?
Joey: And?... AND?
(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)
Joey: Gladys?
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
Joey: You're mean!
JOEY: I don't know.
Joey: (joins him) I gotta get one, too.
Joey: Chandler?
Joey: Uh, does it hurt?
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
Joey: Who?
Joey: It smells really bad in here.
Joey: Services? (Ross looks at him) Oh, services.
Joey: Yeah. Bijan for men?
Joey: Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby?
Hombre Man: (To Joey) You were saying?
Joey: Come on! Youre good with kids. Theyre just crazy on Halloween. Yknow, theyre all greedy and hopped up on sugar!
JOEY: I didn't get it.
Joey: Well, before, with the wishbone... I didn't wish we would win the lottery, I wished you'd get the job.
(Joeys shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)
Joey: Animals dressed as humans.
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, she wants to talk to you!
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Since Im here, I think Im gonna have me a little beer on the port side. (Grabs and opens one.)
Joey: (realizes what he said) Street noise drowned any of that out? (Rachel moves madly towards him) No, all right, I see you later, okay... (Turns away embarrassed)
Joey: Exactly.
Joey: Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sorta like, uh...
Joey: No! No-no. Look, theres a bug stuck in tar right here. (Bends down to get a closer look.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Yeah I guess you're right.
(Hayley laughs and goes into the kitchen thinking it's a joke, Joey doesn't see what's so funny about it)
(Joey looks at his friends, thinks a bit more, then realises.)
Joey: Yeah, I'm ready.
JOEY: [Monica walks back in the kitchen] Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
Joey: What? That's not? (Realizes) Oh my God.
Joey: I dunno, I loved high school. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex.
JOEY: Such as?
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is on the phone as Joey enters.]
Joey: Ive got cold feet.
Joey: I guess I didnt really think about it.
Joey: (panicked) Uhhh.. y'know what? Forget about me. Let's, uh... let's give you another turn.
JOEY: That's what it says.
JOEY: What?
Joey: Oh, hey listen! The Soapies called today and I also get to present an award.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another showdown is occuring, only this time its between Ross, a plate of cookies, and the breast milk. They've been eyeing each other for a while now, and Chandler and Joey are getting bored. He checks his Ross and in frustration, shoves his watch in front of Ross's eyes as if saying, "Hurry it up already!" Finally, Ross scratches his head, does that again, itches his nose, scratches his head, grabs the bottle, takes a big swig, and piles several cookies into his mouth.]
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.)
JOEY: I don't know, I'm just tryin' to help you out.
Joey: Done with the bookcase!
JOEY: You can come over and watch the Super Bowl. Every year, all right?
Joey: No! No! I-I can do it one more time! See? Look! (Eats another spoonful) Hmm, noodle soup. Damnit! (Storms out.)
Joey: (watches them for a while) Oh my.
Joey: I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief.
(Joey and Monica look at each other and shrug. Ross enters with Marcel on his shoulder)
JOEY: Oh, yeah.
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.]
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. You wanna bite? (Holds his piece out for him.)
Joey: Aw, come on! It'll be years before I forget you!
Joey: How about a scone on the house baby?
JOEY: This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married?
Joey: (walks to catch up to him) Alright, look, I'll start, OK?
ROSS: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
CHANDLER: Joey was in a porno movie.
Joey: Well, who's to say what's true? I mean...
Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!
JOEY: Foxy lady.
[Scene: The bathroom at the restaurant, Chandler and Joey are talking.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]
Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
MONICA: Hell, I wanna see Joey.
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)
Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)
JOEY: But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this.
[Scene: Fancy restaurant, Monica, Joey, Angela, and Bob are seated at the table.]
Joey: Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay?
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Woman No. 1: Just a sec. (To Chandler and Joey) Hope you find your monkey. (She starts to shut the door)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are there, Joey enters wearing an old looking hat.]
[Scene: Cole-Geddes Casting Agency, Joey is there on his audition and thinking about that 2,000 bucks for the twins study.]
JOEY: Me too, we should get goin'.
JOEY: I got time.
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
Joey: No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! (to Ross) I'm gonna thump you! (points his fist at him)
JOEY: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Joey: Suck-fest.
JOEY: All right.
Joey: Not from where I was standin.
JOEY: For Ross.
JOEY: Hi.
Chandler and Joey: No, no, no!
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!
Joey: Dont blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel.
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
JOEY: Sorry, sorry.
JOEY: Cool.
Joey: Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-thats offensive to Russians.
[Scene: A nightclub, Chandler is having dinner with Kathy and Joey.]
JOEY: Thank you.
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.