words in movies
Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!
Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.
Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Joey: Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!!
Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
Joey: Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..."
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
Rachel: Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey?
Joey: That's right, yeah.
Joey: Always nice to meet a fan!
Ross: (to Joey) Oh my God!
Joey: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.
Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...
Joey: What did I just say?
Joey: Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Joey enters the room]
Joey: Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you’ll be very, very happy. It’s the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus!
Joey: Yep!
Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)
Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’.
Joey: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.
Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this.
Joey: Why not?
Monica: Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what’s-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don’t you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
[Scene: The corridor. Amy knocks Joey’s door and Rachel opens the door.]
(Joey comes out of Monica’s apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
Joey: Ah, look who’s back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?
Joey: What?
Amy: We’re gonna be roomies! (she snaps her finger and points at Joey, snaps her fingers again and points to the bags) Come on!
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.]
Joey: You slept out here?
Joey: But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we’re getting rid of her.
Rachel: Joey, I can’t do that!
Joey: Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don’t need that kind of talk in my house!
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Joey: 'Cause we will appreciate it more when she’s gone?
Joey: Yeah, Monica made us!
Joey: Yeaah.
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Joey: (yelling at her) I’M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is inside, Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Joey: Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
Joey: Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! (Leaves)
Monica: (surprised) They thought Joey was a child?
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey is in the kitchen and the telephone rings.]
Joey: (picks up the phone) Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani... Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter... No my mommy and daddy aren't home right now... (looks puzzled) Okay, bye bye. (hangs up) (to himself) She was nice!
Rachel: Joey, get Amy's bags, she is moving out!
Joey: Whoo-hoo! (and leaves for Rachel's room)
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, where are those bags?
Joey: (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!
Chandler: (Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?
(Two girls sitting at a table next to them look up in disgust, and Ross and Joey move away)
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
JOEY: Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... Ya know what? Just did.
Joey: Im sorry Dutch, I didnt get that last little bit.
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
(Joey and Phoebe burst forth from his apartment.)
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: Well all right then, I guess I shouldnt get to excited about the fact (excitedly) that I just kissed her!
Joey: Hey, what if I said, I could even things out for ya, meatwise.
[Cut to another part of the building. We see Marcel jump in through a window and run down some stairs, then Chandler and Joey come down from the upper floor without noticing.]
Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Joey: Like a goalie, right?
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is walking towards Ross.]
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Joey: Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy.
Joey: How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed?
[Scene: The Theatre, at the post premiere party. The gang is already there, except Phoebe. Joey runs in.]
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Joey are "updating" Joey's resumé.]
(They start kissing again and, when Joey grazes her thigh, she slaps him on his hand again)
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Joey: Welcome to New York City! Or should I say "ghe deu flooff New York City"?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Joey: I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning.
Joey: Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.
Joey: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?
[Scene: Chandler's office building. Joey and Jeannie are talking.]
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: (Putting his arm around her.) Im not going anywhere, sweetheart.
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Joey: What? Mine arent tinted.
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Joey: Its better! You cant go to a museum in your underwear!
Joey: Look now, Phoebe remember, hey, their just fulfilling their Christmas....
Joey: Yes I did! Im Chandler. (Looks at Chandler) Dude, what happened?
Joey: Ah, just cut me a little sliver. (Monica prepares to cut a little sliver.) A little bigger. (Monica prepares to cut a bigger piece.) Little bigger. (Monica moves the knife again.) What?! Are you afraid youre gonna run out?! Cut me a real piece!
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is snoozing with Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal and Chandler and Monica come storming in.]
Joey: Haaaaa! Hey-hey, thanks for stopping our ball.
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no, not her, not her. My youngest sister, Dina, shes really interested in fashion, and she wants to talk to someone successful, yknow, to give her some advice.
Joey: Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close?
Joey: Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
Joey: And you got a 'hate' from that?! Your taking a big leap there...
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Joey: Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck?
Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Its probably just your burnin loins.
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Joey: (to Chandler) Heard about the leg burnin huh?
Rachel: Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out!
Joey: You sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans?
Chandler: (Screams to interrupt Joey) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!!
Chandler: I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. (Ross and Joey looks puzzled) I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place!
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
[Joey and Ross drop their video game controllers.]
Joey: Yeah, what's up with that Serpico?
Joey: David Lynn! David Lynn! David Lynn!! (Exits)
Joey: (To Ross) Were not peeking? (Follows him.)
Joey: Everybody smile! (The picture is taken) Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! (The family leaves.) Kill me. Kill me now.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, its the middle of the night, hes waking up and discovers hes alone in bed.]
Joey: You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at??
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Monica, and Joey are playing Monopoly.]
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look)
Joey: Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
Joey: It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry.
JOEY: Uhhh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]
Joey/Drake: I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.
Joey: Hey! Now, Ive been watching some tapes, hows this? (In a British accent.) "Jessica Lockhart will never step foot in this place again! Ever!!"
The Man: (To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
Joey and Ross: (faking dissapointment) Okay.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey has won the part of dying man and is now able to play the role he was injured for. Chandler is helping to carry him in.]
Chandler: Does South Oregon have a sports-team? (Joey strikes one from his list) There you go.
Joey: I know Im having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
Joey: I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.