words in movies
Joey: How long do you have to go for?
Joey: A year?!
Joey: Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.
Joey: We were gonna go see the Jets!
Joey: I can't believe you guys are moving.
Joey: Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)
Rachel: Thank you Joey. You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine.
Joey: (Laughs)
Joey: Uhuh.
Joey: (Laughs)
Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Joey: I can do that, yeah. How is Friday?
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: (Laughs) Poophack... (Laughs)
Joey: (Laughs)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (Realizes that he has forgotten all about the double date) Oh my God!
Joey: Yeah, so you found someone for me. You didn't forget?
Joey: No.
Joey: Mike.
Joey: Damnit! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore!?
Joey and Phoebe: (Ad-lib good-byes) (Phoebe leaves)
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Joey: MIKE!!!
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
Joey: Atta boy!
Joey: Okay, look...
Phoebe: Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway?
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
Joey: (Laughs) From school.
Joey: Mike, 'attorney at law'!
Joey: What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me.
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Joey: No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Joey: That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great!
Joey: Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)
Joey: What?!
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?
Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
Joey: What are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!!!
Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?
Joey: Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
Joey: (To Mary Ellen) You're leaving too?
Joey: Good night!
Joey: (Walks In)
Joey: Look at this. My two best friends!
Chandler: (Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?
Joey: I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.
Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)
(Joey opens the door and takes Chandler's suitcase into his own apartment.)
Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.
Joey: Okay, bye. (He hangs up the phone.)
Monica: Joey?
Joey: He had to board.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Joey: Hi!
Joey: (scolding) Dude, theyre not objects.
Joey: Oh, shes uh-uh really sick.
Joey: No-no, she really is sick!
Joey: Kay!
(Rachel turns and gives him a look, and Joey quickly apologises.)
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Joey: Uh, yknow, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold.
Joey: (shouting) I can hear you!
[cut back to Joey on the beach towel]
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Joey: So uh, what are you guys doing?
Joey: Ross, don't let her drink anymore! (Exits)
Joey: U-N-I-sexy? (Smiles provocatively.)
Joey: You dont think I know that!
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
(Joey pats him on the stomach and heads to bed.)
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing.
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
Joey: Did she just ask me out on a date?
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
Monica: Chandler, please! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night?!
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Joey: Oh well then, good night!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Joey: (entering from his bedroom) Morning.
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
(Joey enters looking like Captain Stubing from the Love Boat.)
Joey: And he never played before either! Yknow what I think? I think beginners luck, very important in Cups.
Monica: Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too.
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Joey: What?
Joey: Well, when its not right, you know it.
Joey: Pretty much, yeah.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah. Ill be all right.
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Joey: Yeah! (They head downstairs.)
Joey: (entering) Hey guys.
Joey: Lets go watch it at your place.
Joey: I uh, oh! Because, uh, I havent really paid the bill
Joey: Not so much.
Joey: Sure.
Joey: No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
[Cut back to Joey in bed, he's smiling, enjoying the dream as he wakes up. Suddenly, he realized what he was dreaming about and bolts upright in bed.]
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
JOEY: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
Joey: What?!
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
Joey: Hey listen, why dont you come downstairs with me? Theres some really nice girls down there.
Joey: Dr. Drake Remoray. Days of Our Lives. Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat.
Joey: Hey guys. (to Chandler) Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?
Joey: You got it.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: (in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.
Monica: Joey, do you work here?
Joey: No.
Joey: Yeah?
[Cut to another part of the room, Ross is going to talk to Joey.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Joey: See, now its weird again.
Joey: I don't know, she's, uh.... she's pretty great.
(Joey is looking at his check.)
Ross: Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee?
Joey: All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Joey: (to his grandmother) That's uh, scenes from next week's show. Next week's!
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Joey: Uhh Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on?
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
(Joey enters.)
Joey: This is crazy.
Joey: Yeah, what are ya gonna do?
(Joey, Chandler and Ross enter.)
Joey: Thats great. Thanks Rach.
Joey: Hi!
Joey: Okay you guys, I got a little more written. Are you ready?
Joey: Im not answering that.
Joey: Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting the now heeled Rosita as Rachel is sitting in the newly arrived Francette. Francette is one of those new chairs from La-Z-Boy that has and does everything except cook and go to the bathroom for you. Its got a small refrigerator under one armrest it has phone jacks for the Internet and regular phone, and so much more.]
Phoebe: Yeah Joey that is so gross!
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Joey: Oh, man, I could totally get that part. Im sorry, that seat is taken.
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
Joey: What?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
Joey: Oh yeah! For every dollar Shutter Speed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket.
Joey: Got ya. (blinks an eye)
Joey: (laughing hysterically) Youre right! That did cheer me up!
Joey: Phew, close one.
Joey: Oh, wait-wait! (Reaches into the shower again.) Maybe its a pickle?!