words in movies
Joey: (from bedroom) WHOAA!!
[Joey and Chandler enter]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Joey: What is this? Fruit?
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Joey: This will just be my batch.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is putting jam on his muffin, lots of jam]
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Joey: (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Joey: Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!
Joey: Put your hands together.
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Joey: No more jam?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Joey: Check it out!! Jam crackers!
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule!
Monica: Joey, this is you!
Joey: Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right.
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Joey: Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Where you going?
Joey: Sperm or regular?
Joey: So you're really doing this, huh?
Joey: Sounds nice.
Joey: No kiddin', hmm.
Joey: No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.
Joey: He's got the body for it.
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Joey: And of course, crotchless panties.
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Joey: Lets just say I took care of it.
Joey: What?! Why?!
Joey: You lied to me!
Joey: And you couldnt think of anything else?!
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Joey: So? What-what-what happened?
Joey: I know. I know.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Joey: Hey youre right. Yeah, its kinda been like us again a little bit.
Joey: What?! Oh my-oh my God!
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
Joey: So, whos the guy?
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: But you called me 'Bert'!? That's our code word for danger!
Joey: Hey!
(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)
Joey: All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but its like enough!
Joey: Oh great, that'd be great. Thank you.
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
Joey: I know
Joey: Oh.. man..
Joey: Maybe now you can actually do it. You know? You can finally get over her.
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Joey: What-what?
Joey: Why?
Joey: (Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?
(Cut to Phoebe and Joey)
Joey: Nothing
Joey: Yeah. Ya know what I think; I think we were all just being too negative.
JOEY: I didn't think anyone'd buy that, ok.
Joey: Uh, don't you mean "for whom?"
Joey: Yeah, like a moth to a flame, Im telling ya. Okay all right, so now you go.
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Joey: Yeah you are baby.
Rachel: Hey! Oh Joey, honey listen, thank you for talking to my yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot.
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
Joey: Yeah.
JOEY: See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh.
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there for his interview and everyone but Phoebe are hiding on the couch.]
Joey: Oh, not at all. Happy to do it.
Joey: Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us!
Chandler: Ah, no-no-no just Ross. Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough.
Joey: And Ill have all the muffins.
Joey: Ewwwww!
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, its just not my character thats not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast.)
Joey: Yeah, you got a couple hours?
Joey: I think youre right.
Joey: One.
Joey: Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Yeah!!
Joey: Right.
Joey: Matter of fact, I do.
Joey: Yeah!
(Chandler and Joey enter from the vending machines carrying sodas.)
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
Joey: I like it.
Joey: Not anymore.
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Joey: Ill take those to go. (To the interviewer) For the kids.
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Monica: Joey! Youre doing great!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: No thanks.
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
Dennis Phillips: Look umm Joey, I-I dont think youre quite right for this project.
Joey: I know.
Joey: Terrible! I messed up every line! I shouldnt even be an actor!
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
Monica: (stopping him) No! Joey, we swore wed never tell!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Joey: Uh, we stars just try to eat right and get lots of exercise.
Rachel: Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time she and I yknow kissed a little bit.
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!