words in movies
Joey: (from bedroom) WHOAA!!
[Joey and Chandler enter]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Joey: What is this? Fruit?
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Joey: This will just be my batch.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is putting jam on his muffin, lots of jam]
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Joey: (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Joey: Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!
Joey: Put your hands together.
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Joey: No more jam?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.]
Joey: Check it out!! Jam crackers!
Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule!
Monica: Joey, this is you!
Joey: Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right.
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Joey: Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Where you going?
Joey: Sperm or regular?
Joey: So you're really doing this, huh?
Joey: Sounds nice.
Joey: No kiddin', hmm.
Joey: No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.
Joey: He's got the body for it.
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
CHANDLER: Joey, no means no!
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
JOEY: I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Joey: Well, I-I mightve said supergay.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, (grabs his pants) I'm not fallin' for that again.
CHANDLER: Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Joey: Morning, hey, you made pancakes?
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: (sarcastically) Good morning.
Joey: This is Janice.
Joey: (under his breath) Kiss her! Kiss her!
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Wheel!
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
Joey: Look, what do you want me to say?
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Joey: Okay. I'm in.
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is showing Phoebe around.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Joey: I'm sorry man, I tired, I really did.
JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
Joey: Oh good, uh youre here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say.
Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex.
Joey: Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you."
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
Joey: (turns round again) seriously Gunther you should see someone about that cold, if it gets much worse you could DIE! (Gunther looks scared)
ROSS: Uh Joey, that's just the minumum amount due, that's your total due.
Joey: Whoa!
Joey: Am I in it?
Joey: What?
Joey: But then you left.
Joey: Glass of fat?
Joey: What's the big deal, sit somewhere else.
Joey: How is this your seat?
Joey: Oh, no, that's okay, I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say, I am pretty good!
Joey: Well y'know, Ive been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a take notice walk.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Joey: You think I need a new walk?
(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)
JOEY: [uses a dentist mirror to see] Naa, she's lyin'.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Joey: Monica, how are you gonna do that?
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What about you, having those babies for your brother? Talk about selfish!
JOEY: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: (entering) Where's my underwear?!
Joey: Because, I'm not wearing any underwear now.
Joey: Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Joey: When's that?
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Joey: Je te flouppe Fli.
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
(Joey enters wearing a lot of clothes)
Joey: Hey, Ross, want some cider?
Joey: Let's see what else he'll do!
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
Joey: Now she sounded breezy.
JOEY: Uhh, this is it, this is how we're gonna die. Ready?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Joey: Okay, if Ross and Rachel ask, I've been here the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME!
Monica: Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly...
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
[Cut to Las Vegas, Joey is on the phone and wearing his gladiator costume.]
Joey: I'm so sorry.
Joey: But the drawer full of take-out menus is okay, right?
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Joey: Oh my, would you look at that! (holds up crossed fingers)
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Chandler: That's sweet, Joey.
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
Joey: Hey, opposite, is opposite! (leaves)
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)