words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there as Joey enters]
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
JOEY: All right. I'll give you one hint. Warren Beatty.
JOEY: Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy.
JOEY: No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses.
JOEY: I did do it, I'm a professional.
JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.
JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
JOEY: Come on, I need your help here.
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
JOEY: Yeah, that makes sense. (looks at Ross)
ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there, Chandler is talking to his new friend on the internet.]
JOEY: Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.
CHANDLER: Joey, no means no!
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)
JOEY: (entering) Man, I got this close to him (holds up his fingers) and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on?
JOEY: Oh, well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
JOEY: Aw, man I'm sorry (starts rubbing Chandler's shoulder). This must be very tough for ya, huh (and starts comfroting him looking for a kiss).
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there, Joey is on the phone.]
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
ROSS: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
Chandler: OK, alright, last minute lesson, last minute lesson. (holds up two cards) Joey... three... eight. Eight... three. (Joey is unamused) Alright babe, deal the cards.
Joey: Like a goalie, right?
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Ross is eating breakfast with Joey and Monica. Joey is walking towards Ross.]
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Joey: Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy.
Joey: How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed?
[Scene: The Theatre, at the post premiere party. The gang is already there, except Phoebe. Joey runs in.]
[Sequence 2: Phoebe throws the ball, and its intercepted by Joey, who starts to run up field. Rachel jumps on his back in order to try and tackle him, but she doesnt slow him down. Monica and Phoebe then both grab her legs in order to stop Joey, who still manages to fight through the tackle and score the touchdown.]
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe and Joey are "updating" Joey's resumé.]
(They start kissing again and, when Joey grazes her thigh, she slaps him on his hand again)
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Joey: Welcome to New York City! Or should I say "ghe deu flooff New York City"?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Joey: I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning.
Joey: Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.
Joey: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?
[Scene: Chandler's office building. Joey and Jeannie are talking.]
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: (Putting his arm around her.) Im not going anywhere, sweetheart.
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Joey: What? Mine arent tinted.
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Joey: Its better! You cant go to a museum in your underwear!
Joey: Look now, Phoebe remember, hey, their just fulfilling their Christmas....
Joey: Yes I did! Im Chandler. (Looks at Chandler) Dude, what happened?
Joey: Ah, just cut me a little sliver. (Monica prepares to cut a little sliver.) A little bigger. (Monica prepares to cut a bigger piece.) Little bigger. (Monica moves the knife again.) What?! Are you afraid youre gonna run out?! Cut me a real piece!
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is snoozing with Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal and Chandler and Monica come storming in.]
Joey: Haaaaa! Hey-hey, thanks for stopping our ball.
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no, not her, not her. My youngest sister, Dina, shes really interested in fashion, and she wants to talk to someone successful, yknow, to give her some advice.
Joey: Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close?
Joey: Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
Joey: And you got a 'hate' from that?! Your taking a big leap there...
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Joey: Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck?
Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Its probably just your burnin loins.
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
Joey: (to Chandler) Heard about the leg burnin huh?
Rachel: Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out!
Joey: You sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans?
Chandler: (Screams to interrupt Joey) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA......AAAaaa-doption!!
Chandler: I know, she's been such a big part of my life. And it feels like when Melrose Place got cancelled. (Ross and Joey looks puzzled) I mean... oh, forget it. I miss Melrose Place!
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
[Joey and Ross drop their video game controllers.]
Joey: Yeah, what's up with that Serpico?
Joey: David Lynn! David Lynn! David Lynn!! (Exits)
Joey: (To Ross) Were not peeking? (Follows him.)
Joey: Everybody smile! (The picture is taken) Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! (The family leaves.) Kill me. Kill me now.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, its the middle of the night, hes waking up and discovers hes alone in bed.]
Joey: You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at??
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Monica, and Joey are playing Monopoly.]
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look)
Joey: Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
Joey: It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry.
JOEY: Uhhh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]
Joey/Drake: I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.
Joey: Hey! Now, Ive been watching some tapes, hows this? (In a British accent.) "Jessica Lockhart will never step foot in this place again! Ever!!"
The Man: (To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
Joey and Ross: (faking dissapointment) Okay.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey has won the part of dying man and is now able to play the role he was injured for. Chandler is helping to carry him in.]
Chandler: Does South Oregon have a sports-team? (Joey strikes one from his list) There you go.
Joey: I know Im having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
Joey: I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting at the counter eating Cocoa Puffs.]
Joey looks rejected: Hap.. Hap.. Happy Thanksgiving.
Joey: (impressed) Wow! You look... (drops the cookie)... stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness!
Joey: Oh, it went amazingly well!
Joey: I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. (Points at Chandler, angrily.)
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey paces the floor waiting for Janine. She walks in.]
Joey: Great Great and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didnt want to make a big deal out of this, you know. (She starts to collect all the girlie stuff up.) You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to.
Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.
Joey: (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
Joey: Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sulking on the couch as Joey enters to talk with him.]
Joey: OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?
Rachel: Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment?