words in movies
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are there as Ross enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, dont you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?
Joey: What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!
Ross: Joey, I figured youd understand. I mean, I-Ive known him a lot longer.
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: (pause) Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: (impatiently tapping Chandler on the shoulder) What about me?! You-you just said I could!
Joey: I cant believe youre not picking me.
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Joey: Yes! (to Chandler) Shame about you man.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Do you guys have like a big bowl I can borrow?
Joey: (grabs it) Thanks.
Joey: Oh, were having a big party tomorrow night. Later! (Starts for the door.)
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Phoebe: Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!! (Joey walks back in, scared.)
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Joey: Are you bachelors?
Joey: Are you strippers?
Joey: Then youre not invited. (Starts for the door again.)
Joey: Oh-whoa, what party?
Joey: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I dont want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are talking over party plans.]
Joey: This is what Ive got going for the party so far, liquor wise. Get a lot of liquor.
Joey: Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, Ive got you, me, and Chandler and Im gonna invite Gunther cause, well, weve been talking about this pretty loud.
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Joey: Okay! Well need a six-pack of Zima.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Joey: You got it.
Chandler: See ya. (Ross exits, and Chandler moves over next to Joey, laughing.) Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party.
Joey: Well, theres gonna be strippers there. He didnt say anything about no strippers.
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Oh-whoa-wait, Gunther dont-dont forget your shirt. (He gives Gunther his shirt and Gunther leaves.)
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
Joey: Oh-oh! (Shows him whats on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.)
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Joey: Oh, hey, dont forget your shirt.
Joey: Okay, hey, museum geeks, partys over. Okay. Wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go. Back to your parents basement. All right. (The museum geeks exit and Joey unlocks his door and lets the chick and the duck out.) Come on boys, come on out! Here you go. All right.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. (The duck complies.) Hardly move. (The duck complies.) Be white. (The duck complies.)
Joey: Oh thanks. Thanks. It was great meetin ya. And listen if any of my friends gets married, or have a birthday, or a Tuesday
Joey: Oh unless you uh, you wanna hang around.
Joey: Yeah. Ill let you play with my duck.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, its the middle of the night, hes waking up and discovers hes alone in bed.]
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its continued from earlier. Joey is now waking Chandler and telling him the news.]
Joey: (running and banging on Chandlers door) The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring!
Joey: The ring is gone!
Joey: Dude, this isnt funny! What am I gonna do?! I go to bed last night, everythings cool! I wake up this morning, the strippers gone and the ring is gone!
Joey: Of course!! (Shrugs.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is trying to figure out what to do.]
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Joey: Hey
Joey: So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, thats nice!
Joey: I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those
Chandler: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Joey: Dude, I screwed up, you dont have to turn me in!
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said theyre gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
The Stripper: Okay, which one of you guys is Gunther Central-Perk? (Sees Joey.) Hey, Joey?
Joey: There was a ring, in a box, on my nightstand, after you left, it was gone!
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
[Scene: The Animal Hospital, the guys have taken the duck in to remove the ring. Joey is pacing around like an expectant father.]
Joey: If anything should happen to him
Ross: Joey! The vet said its a simple procedure.
Joey: So! Things can go wrong! You dont know! What if he doesnt make it?!
Joey: Yeah, but what if he doesnt? Hes such a good duck.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Joey: Im so worried about him, yknow?
Joey: H-h-h-hows the duck?
Joey: Ohh, great! Oh hey, listen Ross, thanks for being so cool about this.
Joey: No, its not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down!
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Joey: Now, dont argue with me
Joey: Really?
Joey: (starting to cry) I gotta go check something over here. (He walks away so that they cant see him cry.)
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
JOEY: Right this is staging.
Joey: Hey-hey, youre startin to sound like the butchers wife there in-in chapter seven.
MONICA: Right now, Joey and Chandler's, go now.
Joey: Y'know what, I dont think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
Joey: In Bizarro World!! You broke the code!
Joey: (pats Chandler on the leg) That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?
JOEY: Quick volleyball question.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is putting jam on his muffin, lots of jam]
JOEY: Yeah, I know exactly what she's goin' through.
Joey: Why not?! (to Chandler) Im hungry.
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey and the Hombre man are facing off in Joey's section.]
JOEY ON TV: Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is watching movers take all his stuff away.]
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
(Joey and Chandler shoot each other glances)
JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper.
JOEY: Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
JOEY: Freaky.
Joey: No idea? Who do you think brought her here?
JOEY: Ahh, you drive safe.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
Joey: no... hmmmmm... it's not... hmmmmmmmmmm
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
JOEY: Oh no, what happened?
JOEY: Yeah, I've had it.
Rachel: Im fine! Im fine! Im just losing a tooth, its no big deal. I have a dentist! Yknow. Im gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. (She goes over to the ice and Joey and Monica follow her.) What do I do now? What do I do now?
Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)
[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey is there.]
Joey: Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots.
Joey: Yeah, well be fine.
[The next one is from Episode 712: The One Where Theyre Up All Night, Joey and Ross are deciding how to climb down the final part of the fire escape.]
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: (Enters) Hey you guys Im gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye.
[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey, hey, and I'm in the movie.
Joey: A little more, a little more. (she stuffs some more down his pants and Joey's assesses the how many there already are in there.) A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this.
Joey: I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo.
Joey: Ah. (Joey walks to Chandlers bag by getting as far away from Chandlers bed as possible.)
Joey: I dont know Ross, not if youre gonna talk about how you gave up a career in basketball to become a paleontologist.
JOEY: Sir.
JOEY: Oh, thanks, thanks. Bye bye Jeannie.
JEANNIE: Bye bye Joey.
JOEY: Yeah Bing, what's that about?
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
Joey: Ooh, yeah, I'm not going anywhere for a while.
JOEY: Karen.
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us!
JOEY: Really?
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
JOEY: Hey! We were just sayin', great apartment man.
JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?
JOEY: I don't feel like talkin.
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, The phone rings and Joey answers it.]
JOEY: They didn't fight a lot?
(Joey walks toward the door, then hesitates and turns back.)
Joey: Actually, y'know its kinda cold, so how about I keep my boxers on, and give you all a peek at the good stuff?
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
RACHEL: Hey Joey, how'd the audition go?
Joey: How do you get a monkey into a zoo?
JOEY: Come on, I need your help here.
JOEY: I did do it, I'm a professional.
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
CHANDLER: Joey, no means no!
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
JOEY: I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Joey: Well, I-I mightve said supergay.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, (grabs his pants) I'm not fallin' for that again.
CHANDLER: Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Joey: Morning, hey, you made pancakes?
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: (sarcastically) Good morning.
Joey: This is Janice.
Joey: (under his breath) Kiss her! Kiss her!
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Wheel!
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
Joey: Look, what do you want me to say?
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Joey: Okay. I'm in.
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!