words in movies
(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are there as Ross enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, dont you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?
Joey: What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!
Ross: Joey, I figured youd understand. I mean, I-Ive known him a lot longer.
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: (pause) Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: (impatiently tapping Chandler on the shoulder) What about me?! You-you just said I could!
Joey: I cant believe youre not picking me.
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Joey: Yes! (to Chandler) Shame about you man.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Do you guys have like a big bowl I can borrow?
Joey: (grabs it) Thanks.
Joey: Oh, were having a big party tomorrow night. Later! (Starts for the door.)
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Phoebe: Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!! (Joey walks back in, scared.)
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Joey: Are you bachelors?
Joey: Are you strippers?
Joey: Then youre not invited. (Starts for the door again.)
Joey: Oh-whoa, what party?
Joey: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I dont want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are talking over party plans.]
Joey: This is what Ive got going for the party so far, liquor wise. Get a lot of liquor.
Joey: Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, Ive got you, me, and Chandler and Im gonna invite Gunther cause, well, weve been talking about this pretty loud.
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Joey: Okay! Well need a six-pack of Zima.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Joey: You got it.
Chandler: See ya. (Ross exits, and Chandler moves over next to Joey, laughing.) Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party.
Joey: Well, theres gonna be strippers there. He didnt say anything about no strippers.
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: Oh-whoa-wait, Gunther dont-dont forget your shirt. (He gives Gunther his shirt and Gunther leaves.)
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
Joey: Oh-oh! (Shows him whats on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.)
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Joey: Oh, hey, dont forget your shirt.
Joey: Okay, hey, museum geeks, partys over. Okay. Wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go. Back to your parents basement. All right. (The museum geeks exit and Joey unlocks his door and lets the chick and the duck out.) Come on boys, come on out! Here you go. All right.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. (The duck complies.) Hardly move. (The duck complies.) Be white. (The duck complies.)
Joey: Oh thanks. Thanks. It was great meetin ya. And listen if any of my friends gets married, or have a birthday, or a Tuesday
Joey: Oh unless you uh, you wanna hang around.
Joey: Yeah. Ill let you play with my duck.
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, its the middle of the night, hes waking up and discovers hes alone in bed.]
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its continued from earlier. Joey is now waking Chandler and telling him the news.]
Joey: (running and banging on Chandlers door) The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring!
Joey: The ring is gone!
Joey: Dude, this isnt funny! What am I gonna do?! I go to bed last night, everythings cool! I wake up this morning, the strippers gone and the ring is gone!
Joey: Of course!! (Shrugs.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is trying to figure out what to do.]
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Joey: Hey
Joey: So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, thats nice!
Joey: I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those
Chandler: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Joey: Dude, I screwed up, you dont have to turn me in!
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said theyre gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
The Stripper: Okay, which one of you guys is Gunther Central-Perk? (Sees Joey.) Hey, Joey?
Joey: There was a ring, in a box, on my nightstand, after you left, it was gone!
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
[Scene: The Animal Hospital, the guys have taken the duck in to remove the ring. Joey is pacing around like an expectant father.]
Joey: If anything should happen to him
Ross: Joey! The vet said its a simple procedure.
Joey: So! Things can go wrong! You dont know! What if he doesnt make it?!
Joey: Yeah, but what if he doesnt? Hes such a good duck.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Joey: Im so worried about him, yknow?
Joey: H-h-h-hows the duck?
Joey: Ohh, great! Oh hey, listen Ross, thanks for being so cool about this.
Joey: No, its not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down!
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Joey: Now, dont argue with me
Joey: Really?
Joey: (starting to cry) I gotta go check something over here. (He walks away so that they cant see him cry.)
Joey: All right. But if you werent my best friend.
Joey: Ew! What is that? Something exploded!
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Joey: No, no. He said "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?"
Ginger: Joey I can see you okay? Youre hiding behind the coats.
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.
Phoebe: Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones! Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones!
Joey: He doesn't do much, does he?
Joey: Oh, just, y'know.... science.
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
Joey: I will, really. I'll pay you back this time.
Monica: Oh, Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time.
Joey: We make fire. Cook meat.
Joey: Youre gonna have to pee on it.
Chandler: (sigh)... And where's this money coming from? (gives money to Joey)
Joey: (sigh)... It's a fertility study.
Joey: Oh, OK.
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
JOEY: Oh, hey, Monica, we've got a question.
Ronni: Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
[Scene: Joey and Lydia in the hospital room. Lydia is on the phone with her mother.]
Monica: Joey... we always know what you mean.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: The country?
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
JOEY: No, not that one. We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight, we have an extra ticket.
Joey: Listen, buddy, we're just looking out for you.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is just arriving for his scene.]
(Long pause... Joey looks confused.)
Joey: (entering quietly) Hey.
Joey: Not following you.
Joey: What do you mean?
Joey: Then you do. Heh, heh.
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to her) Hey, Angela.
Estelle: How do you do. (to Rachel and Monica) Ooh, you two girls were outstanding! (to Joey) Did they have representation?
Joey: He's right, cause if you're just gonna, like, break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait.
Joey: The country.
Joey: Well... I'm helping out down at the N.Y.U. Med School with some... research.
Joey: Okay, may I see the comics?
Joey: How do you mean?
Joey: Sure! Why not?
(Joey starts to kiss her.)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Joey: Shhhh!
(Joey looks down at Lydia.)
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
Joey: Heh, heh. It was nothin'.
Joey: She's still asleep.
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Joey: (panicked) Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking?
Joey: (aside to Ross) So.... back to your place...you thinking, maybe... (gestures with hands, back and forth) huh-huh?
Joey: I know! Neither did I!
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
Joey: Okay, so-so which route should I take the northern route or the southern route?
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Joey: Seven hundred bucks!
[Scene: Estelle's memorial service. Joey is giving a speech. Next to him is a blown op photograph of Estelle behind her desk and there's a man standing next to him.]
Joey: Absolutely! And if it doesnt, can I get the extra ticket?
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Joey: Um, this?
Joey: What up?!
Joey: Thats it?! Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem. At least give me a challenge!
Joey: (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world!
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Joey: (reaches for hi scones) My scones.
Joey: (to Chandler) You know, I think I was sixteen.
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Joey: Come on look guys, don't fight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Joey: Can we see her?
Joey: You gotta tell Ross how you feel.
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
JOEY: All right.� All right.� Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh?� (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat.� Then he proceeds to their bedroom.)� Bwa-ah-ah!
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey man, you feeling any better? (Chandler answers him with some guttural sounds that only he can make and that no human can transcribe.)
Joey: Frankie? What're you talking about?
Joey: Man, hell of a two weeks, huh? Y'know what, though? I really feel like I learned something.
Joey: Needs some clothes altered?
JOEY: I don't know.
Joey: (joins him) I gotta get one, too.
Joey: Chandler?
Joey: Uh, does it hurt?
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
Joey: Who?
Joey: It smells really bad in here.
Joey: Services? (Ross looks at him) Oh, services.
Joey: Yeah. Bijan for men?
Joey: Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby?
Hombre Man: (To Joey) You were saying?