words in movies
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!!!!!!
(Everyone claps and cheers, Joey mimics looking about with a gun.)
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, its the set of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. The producer is showing Joey around the set.]
Joey: Wow! Huh? (Picks up the phone) Mac Macaveli, Private Investigator!
Joey: Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot?
Joey: Okay.
The Producer: Joey Tribbiani, this is
Joey: Oh wow! Hes so lifelike! (Starts touching the guys cheeks) Unbelievable! (He starts tugging on the guys ears.
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
Joey: Okay. Sorry about that (Mimics that cheek thing he just did.) Uh, so wheres C.H.E.E.S.E.?
Joey: (laughs) This is like the temporary robot, right?
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
Joey: Im sorry, it justI dont know it doesnt really look like it can do anything.
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Pretty great! Except I did get a little attitude from the robot.
Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!
Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. (His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Wow!
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
Ross: Joey?!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, scene is continued from earlier.]
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.
Paul: Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, "Joey! Joey!" Bye Rach. (Kisses her.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Joey is telling everyone about his impending termination at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: Apparently, theres like a million guys out there that can play Mac, and theres only this one robot and this one guy who controls it! I didnt know he could get me fired! What am I going to do?
Monica: Well yknow Joey, youre a pretty charming guy.
Joey: Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Chandler: So do you think uh, Joeys more charming than me?
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is walking up to C.H.E.E.S.E. and Wayne.]
Joey: Morning! Hey, hows my favorite genius and my little robot buddy?! (Pats C.H.E.E.S.E. on the head.)
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
[Scene: Joeys Dressing Room, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Joey: I cant believe Im going to lose this job!
Joey: Yeah! Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard.
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Wayne: Hey Joey, I want to talk to you.
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Wayne: Joey, Joey, I-I-Ill g-get you your job back if you help me out.
Joey: (incredulous) Why should I help you?!
Chandler: (whispering in Joeys ear) The reason he just said.
Joey: (happily) What do you need?
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: What are you in love with her or something?
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Joey: Well, it turns out you were right C.H.E.E.S.E.
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
Joey: And, uhh, maybe the watering can there.
[Joey leaves]
Joey: (frustrated) Still not hot enough!
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
[Joey and Ross make confused faces.]
[Cut back to Monica and Chandler telling Phoebe and Joey the story.]
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
[Joey rushes over.]
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: Uhm... ok... uhm... Well, yeah... You have got some nerve, coming back here. I can't believe you never called me.
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]
[Scene: Rachels old room, Ross and Joey enter.]
Joey: You got it! Oh-oh! (He starts patting the burned spot, which just happens to be over her breast.)
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Joey: (happily) Really?
Joey: (snaps his fingers) We could climb Mt. Everest!
Joey: Hey! Who was up from 2 oclock this morning until 5 oclock this morning trying to get her back to sleep?
Joey: This is Vegas man! People will pay to see freaky stuff! Okay, how much would you pay to see this hand (Holds up his left hand) twice? Huh?
Joey: I like it.
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
Joey: Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet!
Joey: Thanks. (The grip walks away.) (Reading the card.) Congratulations on your big break.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
(Joey enters)
Joey: Hey you guys.
Joey: I like her so much!
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Joey: But hey, Ross, this place is available now!
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Joey: Really?
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Phoebe: (To Joey) What?!
Joey: Uh-huh.
Joey: What do you mean?
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
Joey: No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no we came together!
Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that youre dancing with.
[Scene Joey and Janines new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.]
Joey: But it is our apartment!
Joey: Oh yeah? Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal. (Joey shies away.)
Joey: I'm saying maybe you and I crank it up a notch.
[Cut to Joey and Janine]
Chandler: Oh nope, I-I have plans with Joey.
[Cut to the roof, where Joey and Mr. Treeger are dancing happily to ^Night and Day^.]
Chandler: Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but Im (Joey hangs up the phone again.)
Joey: No! Year! Happy No Year!
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, they both enter.]
Joey: Yeah?
Janine: Joey.
Joey: But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again?
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
Joey: No.
Joey: 3, 2,
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood.
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
Joey: Oh we kissed it up real nice.
Joey: Yeah baby! (Chandler glares at him.) No baby!
Joey: Okay. (They kiss.)
Joey: Okay. (They kiss.)
Joey: Mornin Pheebs. (Sits down.) Well, my movie has officially been canceled.
[Joey gives her an understanding look.]
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Joey: Hey! I made that for her!
Joey: Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. (To Chandler) I'm sorry man.
Joey: (indignant) I was tired!
Monica: Joey, you dont have too!
Joey: See ya tomorrow!
Joey: What?
Joey: I don't know, but I don't like what I'm hearing!
Joey: What-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Joey: Blah?!
[Cut to Joey and Janines.]
Joey: I guess.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
JOEY: Oh, yeah. He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head.
[Cut back inside to Joey giving a beautiful woman a tennis lesson by standing behind her.]
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
Joey: Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.