words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse?
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are getting ready to rehearse the play.]
Joey: Hey, Kate!
Joey: Listen, I ah, went to that restaurant that you were talking about last week...
Joey: (to himself) And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah...
Joey: Oh, hey! Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: (looks at her, shocked) What?!
Joey: Get out of here, really?!
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: They gave me the shaft all right.
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
Joey: All right.
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing.]
Joey: Come on baby, dont go. Please? What do you say?
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Joey: Do you want me to want you to care?
Joey: What?
Joey: Come on baby, dont go. Please? What do you say?
(Joey grabs her and kisses her.)
Joey: Hey, its gonna be all right.
Lauren: (to Joey) Hey! So since were getting off early, do you want to go and paint mugs?
Joey: What?
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
Joey: Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (to Kate) Ah, are you okay?
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: How do you mean?
Joey: Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his waist.
Joey: And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her!
[cut to Joeys bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]
Joey: Something like that?
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are eating breakfast as Joey enters, very happily.]
Joey: (to Ross) Hey.
Joey: (to Monica) Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate.
Joey: Oh, it was so amazing. After the (pause) love making...
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Joey: Hey.
Joey: So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you ah, did you talk to Marshall?
Joey: Y'know, about what happened with us.
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Joey: Nooo.
Joey: Hi, Lauren.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Monica, and Joey are playing Monopoly.]
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look)
Joey: Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
Joey: It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry.
JOEY: Uhhh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is letting everyone in on the new developments.]
Joey/Drake: I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.
Joey: Hey! Now, Ive been watching some tapes, hows this? (In a British accent.) "Jessica Lockhart will never step foot in this place again! Ever!!"
The Man: (To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
Joey and Ross: (faking dissapointment) Okay.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey has won the part of dying man and is now able to play the role he was injured for. Chandler is helping to carry him in.]
Chandler: Does South Oregon have a sports-team? (Joey strikes one from his list) There you go.
Joey: I know Im having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
Joey: I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is sitting at the counter eating Cocoa Puffs.]
Joey looks rejected: Hap.. Hap.. Happy Thanksgiving.
Joey: (impressed) Wow! You look... (drops the cookie)... stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness!
Joey: Oh, it went amazingly well!
Joey: I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. (Points at Chandler, angrily.)
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey paces the floor waiting for Janine. She walks in.]
Joey: Great Great and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didnt want to make a big deal out of this, you know. (She starts to collect all the girlie stuff up.) You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to.
Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.
Joey: (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
Joey: Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sulking on the couch as Joey enters to talk with him.]
Joey: OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?
Rachel: Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment?
Joey: And thats just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.
Joey: Its hard, y'know, his huddle is closer to Dutch girl.
Joey: Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Huhuh...
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
Phoebe: Uh Joey, were trying to dial down the crazy.
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
Rachel: Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in.
(They both pull but Joey slips out and starts to fall backwards just as Chandler enters, scaring him.)
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Rachel: Joey, (nervously) where did you learn that word?
Joey: Ah... Chick Jr.? Duck Jr.? Don't hide from mama!
Joey: Ooooh! Freeze him out.
JOEY: Oh hey uh, be careful with that 3-D last supper, Judas is a little loose.
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Joey: I guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise. (He goes into the bathroom.)
Joey: Aww, man, now we wont be bank buddies!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is wiping down the peninsula counter as Joey enters dressed like a cowboy.]
Joey: I just got this really weird message from Ross. He said turn on MTV.
Joey: Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica.
Joey: Well how about this one? Testing the effects of Joey Tribbiani on attractive nurse receptionists.
Joey: Yeah-hah. Toute-de-le-fruit.
Joey/Drake: Stopping you from marrying the wrong man and making the biggest mistake of your life.
(Joey closes the door and ties the balloons to the knob. Then he walks away, holding the hand of an inflated balloon animal he had brought.)
[Scene: Lydia's Hospital Room, Joey is helping Lydia go through labor, a nurse is now present in her room as well.]
[Scene: The lobby in Ross's building, we see a flyer that is on the bulletin board that reads, "Are you the Hot Girl who waved at me? If so, give me a call!" and it's signed, Joey 629-9*** (The last couple of numbers have been ripped off). Anyhoo, Ross is getting his mail.]
Joey: Hey! Mine was by accident! All right, the boiler explodes and destroys the hotel, and kills the dad.
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Joey: Oh, de fuff!
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)
JOEY: You guys are messin' with me, right?
[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band members playing guitar at the wedding. The chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A cellular phone rings.]
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, dont we need to do some kinda preparation first? Like ahh, get really drunk?
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.
Joey: It's creamier.
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
Joey: Yeah-well-yeah! Yeah-oh-yeah. Come on in.
Joey: (He starts looking longingly at the sandwich.) Oh mama! Uh when-when is the baby due?
Phoebe: I don't know. But, God, Joey seems to be handling it suprisingly well.
Joey: Umm, y'know how the other day you were talking about how you didn't get to go to London and how you were kinda feeling left out?
Joey: Whoever has the biggest boobs, has the biggest bra, therefore has the biggest wire.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys (Tony and Peter) the entertainment center.]
Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if youre gonna be moving in with him I feel its my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? Hes a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm Oh-oh he always, he always ummOh, who am I kidding! Hes the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)
Monica: All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: Hey Monica! (Grabs her and pulls her into the living room.) People came to see a fight, lets give em what they came for!
Joey: Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Joey: Wow! That was incredible! Beard of bees, here I come!
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
[Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
Joey: So you like the nachos uh? Myself Im partial to
JOEY: Hey, there's me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with a date. Hey Chandler, look, you're in here too.
Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.
JOEY: And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is singing Happy Birthday to yet another good-looking woman. Gunther is watching and is not very happy.]
Joey: Well, not so good. She definitely thinks tonight is the night we're gonna... complete the transaction, if you know what I...
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.