words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. The scene starts where we took off in the last episode with Ross seeing Joey and Rachel kissing. Rosss tares at them.]
Joey: Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?
Joey: Rach, he just saw us.
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Joey: Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but..
Joey: Yeah, but it did happen, so...
Joey: Ross?
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Continued from earlier.]
Joey and Rachel: Yeah.
Joey: No, no, no!
Joey: Probably.
Joey: No, no!
Joey: Really?
Joey: Ross..
Joey: Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
Joey: I do like fajitas.
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Joey: Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.
Joey: I'd take you out for a romantic night. Some champagne, fancy dinner, feel you up on the carriage ride home...
Joey: In a carriage!
Joey: Hey, Charlie!
(Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.)
Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
Joey: Oh. Oh, thanks.
Joey: Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out..
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
Joey: Uh, actually, that's..
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
(Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond to that.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Rachel, Joey and Charlie are eating fajitas when Ross enters from the kitchen.]
Ross: Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Joey: Dude, are you okay?
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
Joey: You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
Rachel: Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this.
Joey: It doesn't look good, does it?
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
Joey: Morning. Here you go.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
Joey: Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..
Joey: It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.
Joey: That's what I hear, yeah.
Joey: Come on, I mean, you know me, you know...
Ross: Joey.
Joey: I'm crazy about her.
Joey: I think so.
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
Joey: No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this?
Joey: And we're okay?
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
CHANDLER: Joey, no means no!
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
JOEY: I fall down an elevator shaft? What the hell does this mean, I fall down an elevator shaft?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Joey: Well, I-I mightve said supergay.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Annabelle: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, (grabs his pants) I'm not fallin' for that again.
CHANDLER: Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbianni. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Joey: Morning, hey, you made pancakes?
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: (sarcastically) Good morning.
Joey: This is Janice.
Joey: (under his breath) Kiss her! Kiss her!
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: Wheel!
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
Joey: Look, what do you want me to say?
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Joey: Okay. I'm in.
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey is showing Phoebe around.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Joey: I'm sorry man, I tired, I really did.
JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
Joey: Oh good, uh youre here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say.
Joey: Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex.
Joey: Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you."
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
Joey: (turns round again) seriously Gunther you should see someone about that cold, if it gets much worse you could DIE! (Gunther looks scared)
ROSS: Uh Joey, that's just the minumum amount due, that's your total due.
Joey: Whoa!
Joey: Am I in it?
Joey: What?
Joey: But then you left.
Joey: Glass of fat?
Joey: What's the big deal, sit somewhere else.
Joey: How is this your seat?
Joey: Oh, no, that's okay, I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say, I am pretty good!
Joey: Well y'know, Ive been walking the same way since high school. Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a take notice walk.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Joey: You think I need a new walk?
(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)
JOEY: [uses a dentist mirror to see] Naa, she's lyin'.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Joey: Monica, how are you gonna do that?
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What about you, having those babies for your brother? Talk about selfish!
JOEY: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: (entering) Where's my underwear?!
Joey: Because, I'm not wearing any underwear now.
Joey: Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Joey: When's that?
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Joey: Je te flouppe Fli.
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
(Joey enters wearing a lot of clothes)
Joey: Hey, Ross, want some cider?
Joey: Let's see what else he'll do!
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
Joey: Now she sounded breezy.
Joey: Hey.
JOEY: Uhh, this is it, this is how we're gonna die. Ready?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Joey: This will just be my batch.
Joey: Okay, if Ross and Rachel ask, I've been here the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME!
Monica: Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly...
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
[Cut to Las Vegas, Joey is on the phone and wearing his gladiator costume.]
Joey: I'm so sorry.
Joey: But the drawer full of take-out menus is okay, right?
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Joey: Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Joey: Put your hands together.
Joey: Oh my, would you look at that! (holds up crossed fingers)