words in movies
[Scene: Joey's new apartment. Everyone but Chandler is there. Joey has decorated the place with tons of tacky stuff.]
JOEY: Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself.
MONICA: [looking at some kind of glass sculpture thing] Wow Joey, this is, uhh...
JOEY: Art.
JOEY: Thanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee.
JOEY: Hey, how come, uhh, Chandler didn't come?
JOEY: Right, I go-, I got it.
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
JOEY: That's right, I have a phone in here.
MONICA: Joey, promise me something.
JOEY: Yeah.
JOEY: Hello.
JOEY: Hey!
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
JOEY: Oh, well great.
JOEY: Well OK then. [oven timer goes off behind Chandler] Was that the oven timer?
JOEY: Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
JOEY: Naa, you're just sayin' that 'cause you're in love with Yasmine Blepe.
JOEY: Hey, hey, they're runnin'
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
JOEY: I did. I thought it'd be great. I figured I'd have like, time alone with my thoughts but, ya know, it turns out I don't have as many thoughts as you'd think.
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
JOEY: You really think he'd take me? I mean, we had a pretty good talk last night but, when I moved out, I hurt him bad.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
EDDIE: Hey Chan, is that Joey guy gonna come by and pick up his moose hat or should I just toss it out?
CHANDLER: Well, uh, why don't you ask him yourself. Joey, this is my new roommate Eddie.
JOEY: Likewise. Uh, I'll take that. [grabs moose hat] It's what I came for. So, this is new. Where'd you two meet?
JOEY: Wow.
JOEY: Oh, now it's a spare room?
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
JOEY: Yeah, yeah he is. [leaves]
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Joey stops by. Chandler is reading the paper and Eddie is fixing eggs.]
EDDIE: Hi Joey, what's goin' on man?
JOEY: Eddie.
JOEY: Morning. I just uh, came by to pick up my mail. [looks for the mail on the table by the door, it's not there] Where's the mail?
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
JOEY: Huh.
JOEY: No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a-la me.
JOEY: So how you two gettin' along?
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
JOEY: Hey, this isn't about juice anymore, alright man.
JOEY: Eggs. Who's eggs do you like better, his or mine, huh?
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
[All by myself is playing. Chandler is sitting in front of a window while it's raining outside. We see Joey through a rainy window. The camera zooms out to show it's just his tabletop water sculpture.]
MONICA: Joey.
JOEY: [sings] It may not be a bed of roses.
Joey: Me too.
(Joey comes in from the back of the coffee house)
Joey: Alright, I can make my peace with the clean dry towels Also what is with these chips you bought?
Joey: I want you.I need you.Let me make love to you.
Joey: Yeah!Hey, you just have to promise not to get yourself thrown out again.
Joey: Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Joey: Also so gay!
Joey: Oh, wish me luck!
Director: Joey, Joey! We're ready for you!
Rachel: Hey Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity?
Joey/Drake: You don't love him!
Joey/Drake: Oh, what about this one.
Joey/Drake: Fine. I'll go. But let me ask you one question...
Joey: Oh! (In an announcer type voice) And so the miracle of life begins, and aaiiyyyeeee! (He grabs his side and doubles over in pain.)
Joey/Drake: Tell me to stop, just...tell me to stop. (he's about to kiss her)
Joey: Well anyway, the guy they wanted backed out and now they want me! I start shooting today!
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Joey: (seriously) Yes, its a highly controversial procedure.
Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, all right, I can ask Monica.
Joey: Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me?
Joey: Oh, you are the best friends anyone has ever had.
Joey: Right... (pause) ok, so just from the top of the page, right here.
Joey/Drake: I can't believe you married him.
Joey: What?
Joey: but, but..
Joey/Drake: So what about us? Everything we feel for each other.
Joey: Ah, Rach, it doesn't say that!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Joey: Sandy! Hi! C'mon in! (She enters, followed by a young boy and a younger girl)...You brought your kids.
Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Joey: I think Saturday(groans in pain again).
Joey: Whoa-hey-oh! Sorry!
(Joey frowns...then looks as if he understands)
[Cut to Monica's room, Chandler tackles Joey onto her bed and tries to cover his mouth.]
Joey: You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E!
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Rachel walks in]
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Joey: What?
Joey: Oh...I don't think it's going very well...
Joey: A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia.
Joey: Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are shooting tomorrow...
Joey: Uh...well...just once...with you...
Joey: So...I've never played that!
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Joey: Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, youve been Bamboozled!
(Joey and Rachel continue to look at each other in silence for a while)
Joey: Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.
Joey: (enters the room) Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!
Joey: Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives!
Joey: Dude! (he opens his arms to receive the ball from Ross' hands)
(Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him)
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Joey: (entering the room) Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is packing some books and Joey is watching him.]
Joey: (yelling) Stupid Jane Rogers!!
Joey: I do it every year.
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: Yeah...
Rachel: Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Joey: (speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
Joey: Well, I heard Emma stirring, so I came to make sure she could reach Hugsy.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Joey: (placing Hugsy back in the crib) There you go sweetie... (to Emma) This isn't over.
Joey: I was making a peanut butter smoothy, right?
Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!
Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!
Joey: What party?
Phoebe: We know about your party Joey.
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah!
Joey: You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Joey: It's a science.
[Scene: The roof, Joey is walking towards Ross with a guy]
Joey: Monica!
Joey: (To Rachel) What have you got there?
(Joey, resigned, walks to Rachel's table)
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Rachel: Joey, you're so sweet.
Joey: Me.
Rachel: Oh, Very funny... Joey.
Joey: Gotcha.
Joey: Yes, 'cause we live together, that's a joke!
(Joey enters, wearing a bathrobe)
(Joey motions for Rachel to lean in. She does so.)
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Joey: Good call. Yeah. But, the face Ross, the face isnt Rachel.
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!